gnarled and knotty, a splendid monument of England's glory, recalling to my mind the world-wide fame of our brave wooden walls. I should think the tree must be a thousand years old, and must have stood in good King Alfred's time. I felt at once that I was a hundred times repaid for my exertion in turning out, for I know of only two other such monarchs of the wood, and only one of them surpasses this in beauty.

For those who love old oaks I will say that these stand in Spy Park, about six miles to the north-west of Devizes, and anyone who pays them a visit will be well repaid for his pains.

I think that such trees ought to be protected by a law; for it would be a thousand thousand pities that they should run the risk of being ruthlessly cut down by some ignorant farmer for firewood, trees in which every Englishman may justly glory. But we must leave the old tree behind.

We now begin to bend to the left and a few more fields brought us again to the New Passage Railway. How I groaned when I saw the steep embankment! I might have consoled myself with the thought that if we never went up hill we could never appreciate the pleasure of going down hill; however, I did'nt think of it. When I did manage to get to the top of it I thought I saw a farm-house, but as I came up to it I saw it was the back of a gentleman's residence. The scent led round to the front into a carriage drive which stretched away up an avenue of elm and ash, at the end of which there was a high wooden gate facing up a quaint little village. The house had no doubt seen better days, and the carriage drive unmarked by wheels and now nearly overgrown with grass might tell you that perhaps in the great failures of the last few years a blow had been struck there too. I passed up the avenue, through the gate and was trotting briskly through the narrow road of the village when turning round a sharp bend my attention was suddenly attracted by the village church. It was small, and capable of holding about two hundred people. I failed, however, during the short glimpse I had of it, to discover the style in which it was built, if indeed it was built in any style. The tower, which was the most conspicuous part of the church, was adorned at its top by the most hideous row of heads possible to conceive. Of these the most remarkable was that of a woman who, to judge from a large swelling on the left side of her face, a flannel bandage tied tightly round her head, and the exquisite expression of pain which pervaded her whole countenance, must have been experiencing the excruciating pangs of ticdoloureux.

Why, may I ask, do we see such hideous creatures on the outside of our churches? Can it be for ornament, or is it to

frighten away the good and attract the badήλιξ ἥλικα τέρπει -But though I stop to ask these questions I don't cease to run, and so I come in due time to "The Anchor," the village inn.

"The Anchor" is a large house on the main road from Bristol to Gloucester, and like many other large road-side inns of the same kind misses the bustle of the good old days of stage coaches and breathes an air of emptiness and poverty, while half its rooms seem untenanted save perhaps by the parish ghosts which rural credulity conjures up in every direction.

Upon enquiry here I found the name of the village was Filton. I left Filton and turned into the fields on the right, and having lost the scent and made some useless endeavours to find it again, I found my way to Horfield Common, thus completing a circle. Here, as luck would have it, I hit upon the scent and just at the same moment two fellows came up who had followed the scent the whole way. They were inclined to question whether, after missing the scent, I could "come in "fairly, but I declined all controversy with many thanks and apologies, thinking that "sufficient for the day is the evil thereof," for all chance of coming in after losing so much time seemed hopeless. So I left them behind, and after running the last few miles at a good pace, contrary to my expectations, I only just failed to come in.

I swallowed my disappointment, took a mouthful of bread and a glass of beer, jumped into a bath, and in less than a quarter of an hour was doing stern justice to the festive board. J. A. N.

ARTEMUS WARD'S RECOLLECTIONS OF SHOOTING IN ENGLAND.

You've probly all heern of my fite with the Sccesher, but alars, alars, fu nose the konsekents.

How my show was konfisticated, embracin as it did a wonderful collekshun of livin wild Beasts of Pray, snaix in grate profushun, a endless variety of live size wax figgers, and the only traned kangaroo in Ameriky, the most amoozin outrajus little cuss ever introjuced to a discriminatin public. Baldinsville no longer looked upon me as here24. Betsey Jane kalled me a old fool.

I thare4 drowndid my sorrers in the flowin Bole; girded up my Lions and fled the festiv seen to British sile; thare to live in truly British stile, which is poeckry, though such was not my intenshun.

I lived as a Kuntry gentleman, and went in putty konsiderabul for sportin. Huntin I ollers sed I coodn't afford ; but the fack is, the very fust time as I crost the pigskin, I fell into a ditch kersmash, serverely damagin myself and I kame out with my clean biled Shirt rather more'n ornery rumpled. Sum1 axed me to git up and go on sum moor, but as I didn't hanker arter Reynard, I konkloodid I woodn't.

Onct I was persuode to go fishin in a punt. My friend was a most enthoosiarstic luver of the angel. Bein of a very poetic turn myself, arter fishin ruther more'n harf an hour with nary a bite, my feelins were too many for me, and I began to spout,

I'm erflote, I'm erflote,
On a flat bottom'd bote.

(COTASHUN FROM HAMLICK.)

The putty little fishes which was in

The swift rolin tide

stoppt their nibblin to onct; my friend gettin putty ril'd, called me a outrajus ornery cuss, or suthin to that effeck. But I indoosed him to carm his trubbled spirits with

Kuba segar, with tip so brite
Welkum to me by day or nite.

(POECKRY.)

I gave myself up to the booties of natur, and was just beginnin to repose in the klassic arms of Murphy, when I herd a huge splash at the back side of my hed. I jumpt up and saw suthin resemblin a smawl Pig sportin in the deep blue wave. As I had been snatcht from my chased couch, so to speak, I cood not restrane my feelins, and in a stentoorian voyce I exclaimed, "You egrejus ass, lug that pig out to onet." As the pig continnered to splash, I ceased the line and tride to hawl the animile into the bote.

He returned to his nativ Elerfunt.

I follered amid the cusses of my frend.

You will plese to obsarve, that he was a most enthoosiarstic luver of the angel.

Nevertheless, I court a kold, whareas my frend, so enthoosiastic, sich a luver of the angel, court nary a fish.

However, fishin did not agree with my konstitooshun, there4 as I am konsidered a putty good hand at Bolin over the cony, I konkloodid I wood go in for shootin sum more.

Why lasserate the publick buzzum with statin how and whare I obtained sport! May it suffice the a4sed Buzzum 4 me to say that I had shootin both covert and uncover'd, (N.B.-This is a goak). The fust time I went out I hadn't bin in cover moren' 5 minits when my dorg court a hare. I rushed 4ward to reskew the poor animile, from the jors of death.

(N.B.-My dorg's called "Death"). All to onet my keper yell'd out, "Mark, kok," I didn't see a4sed kok, and was turnin round to ax his whareabouts, when a gun went orf and killed a burd, which I konklooded was the kok. My gun did not go orf, konsekently I was put out about it.

At this krysis in the dim vister of the futur I obsarv'd a tall man kumming 2wards me. My munkie riz, and I exclaimed "Who air you, take yorself orf stranger, these air my preserves, or your hed will get jamm'd up putty konsiderbul. (N.B.-When my munkie is at bilin pint, impromptoo goaks kum down like rane.)

He replide" My frend, there is sum misteak."
Sez I, "Nary."

Sez he, "Kum, kum, this is goin it too mutch."

I replide, "Yes, I think it is a darned site too mutch," with which remarks I commenst to pull orf my extry garmints, and smashin my hat wildly over my ize, I rusht at him and prepair'd to foller the coarse of axion and artful strategy with which I polish'd orf the a4sed Secesher ar lar Benike Boi. I thare4 began by hittin my weskit putty hard agin his fist, which indoos'd him to put his nose in my mouth, arter which, to facilitate matters, I druv my rite eye into his nuccle bones. We then got to close 4s, bunted our heds together, and made spittoons of ourselves ginerally for sum minits. After punchin my inards putty hevy, my antaggenist brawt it to a close by adroitly placin his stummick agin my rite foot, then to show that he was not ill-dispos'd to me, he kindly put his hed too roost under my wing. I here thawt fit to larf.

He didn't roost muchly, but kontented hisself with sittin down in a thick bramble bush. Obsarvin that he could not possibly leave his situation without leaving the seat of his trowsis behind him, I left.

Be4 we got clear of the wood, a huge feline cat rush'd out of the brambles; my keper's gun goin orf at this krisis, the animile was injered. I ran 4ward and keepin orf my dorg, carest the putty creatur. Upon which, sed putty cretur in konsiderashun for my kindness druv his teeth thro my finger. I stoppt caressin to onct.

But as he was a very putty cretur, I continner'd to kepe Death orf him, but, alars, the putty cretur died.

Upon leavin the wood I axed my keper what he thawt of the fight; if he didn't think I was sum Pumpkins.

He larfed as if he'd kill hisself, and intermated that I had jist lugged the wrong pig by the ear.

I coodn't see no pig, consekently I replide, "Air you drunk?"

Sez he-"Wish I was."

D

He then commenst for to hint that my late antaggernist was in the rite.

Sez I, "I never heern brambles kalled by that naime be4; but I spose its rite."

Sez he, "You've bin trespassin.

Sez I," Bust my gizzard, you pusillanermus cuss. This is onprecerdented," at the same time feelin ruther oncumfurtable in my inards.

But he only bust out larfin-a little silvery larf, reminding me of the wife of my buzzum-Betsey Jane, fond mother of twins, wayin about 18 punds jintly.

I was konfoozed, I was a loonytick 4 the time bein. However callin to mind how I had left the itinerent vagabone in natur's pin kooshun so to speke, my sperrets riz accordin. But a4sed sperrets were not destin'd to remane in there elervated posishun too mutchly. Bimeby I saw, alars, alars, 2 police and the cuss with whoos blud I had jist water'd the sile, kummin up 2 hoss speed.

I can ashure you the grass did not grow under my feet while I ran 3 miles to the nearest railway stashun; kompletely distancin the keper, who, I began to suspeck was in league with them, from the onnateral way in which he puff'd and blow'd and endavour'd to kepe me back.

But A. Ward was too mutch for him. I arrove at the bookin offiss in time to get my tickut 4 a trane which started just as the outrajus keper rusht up with the 3 onprincepled retchis in pursoot.

As they seem'd not to no my whareabouts I carmly, quietly, and sedately put my hed out of windor and in a winnin voise exclamed, Hunky boi, go it my gay and festiv cuss."

I larfed all the way to hum; thus virtoo was awarded, for virtoo is its own A. WARD.

A MEDIEVAL LEGEND.

When the knights of the Cross so bravely fought

In the burning eastern regions,

When the muscles were all, and the brains were nought,

And troubadours wandered in legions,

There lived a king in a sunny clime,

With seventy wives in his harem,

And if they offended his highness sublime,

He never would pardon or spare 'em.

He cut off their heads with his scimitar bright,

Had them dried and then placed in his study;

But his time came at last, and a brave English knight
Paid off this old tyrant so bloody.