Augustus, while he was encamped with his army, somewhere near the Mantua, was disturbed three nights successively, by the hooting of an owl: proclamation was made to the soldiers, that whosoever caught the offender, (so that he might be brought to justice) should have an ample reward for his pains. Every one was loyally engaged in the pursuit of this bird; at last, one more vigilant than the rest, found him in a hollow-tree, so brought him in triumph to the Emperor, who saw him with the greatest joy, but gave the soldier a sum of money, so far below his expectation, that he let the owl fly away that instant; so true a sense of liberty, ran through the very meanest of the Romans. Macrob. Sat.

The Long Story-teller, is one who tells little or nothing in a great number of words; for this, many among the moderns are famous, particularly the French. And among ourselves in this kingdom, we have a vast number of the better sort. As well as I can recollect, there are six deans, four judges, thirty-six counsellors at law, sixty-five attorneys, some few fellows of the college, every alderman through the whole nation except one. All old gentlemen and ladies without exception, five of the college of physicians, three or four lords, two hundred squires, and some few people of distinction beside.

I shall here insert a fragment of a long story, by way of example, containing one hundred and twenty-nine words, which might have been said in these ten following, viz.-Nine years ago, I was to preach for a friend.

"I remember once, I think it was about seven years ago,—No, I lye,-It was about nine years ago; for it was just when my wife was lying in of Dicky; I remember particularly the midwife would have had me staid to keep her company, and it was the heaviest day of storm and rain, that I ever saw before or since; but because I engaged to preach for a very worthy friend of mine, who lived about twenty miles off, and this being Saturday, I could not defer it to the next morning, though I had an excellent nag, which could have rid it in three hours; I bought of a neighbour, one Mr. Masterson; yet because I would not put my friend in a fright, &c." Thus far he went in one minute; the story lasted an hour, so that upon a fair computation, he spoke 7740 words instead of 600, by which means he made use of 7140 more than he had occasion for. If a right application were made of this nint, which I have given, it would be of admirable effect in the dispatch of public business, as well as private conversation; nay, in the very writing of books, for which I refer the reader to the fable of the Bees, and the two elaborate Treatises, written by the learned Mr. H-n.

The Marvellous, is he, who is fond of telling such things as no man alive, who has the least use of his reason, can believe. This humour prevails very much in travellers, and the vain glorious, but very pardonable, because no man's faith is imposed upon; or if it should be so, il consequence attends persons seriously extravagant,

expecting another should give credit to what he knows impossible for the greatest dunce to swallow.

One of these, who had travelled to Damascus, told his company, that the bees of that country were as big as turkies. " Pray, Sir," said a gentleman," (begging pardon for the question) how large were the hives?" "The same size with ours," replied the traveller. "Very strange," said the other; "but how got they into their hives?" "That is none of my business; egad, let them look to that."

Another, who had travelled as far as Persia, spoke to his man John, as he was returning home, telling him, how necessary it was, that a traveller should draw things beyond the life, otherwise, he could not hope for that respect from his countrymen, which otherwise he might have. But at the same time, "John," said he," wheresoever I dine, or sup, keep you close to my chair; and if I do very much exceed the bounds of truth, punch me behind, that I may correct myself." It happened, on a day that he dined with a certain gentleman, who shall be nameless, when he affirmed, that he saw a monkey in the Island of Borneo, which had a tail three score yards long. John punched him. “I am certain it is fifty at least." John punched him again. "I believe, to speak within compass, for I did not measure it, it must have been forty." John gave him another touch. "I remember it laid over a quick-set hedge, and therefore could not be less than thirty.” John at him again. “I could take my oath it was twenty." This did not satisfy John. Upon which the master turned about in a

rage, and said, "damn you for a puppy, you have a monkey without any tail at all?"

would

Did not the famous Dr. Burnet, whose history is much of the same stamp with his travels, affirm, that he saw an elephant play at ball? And that grave gentleman, Ysbrant Ides, in his travels through Muscovy to China, assures us, that he saw elephants which were taught to low like cows, to yell like tigers, and to mimick the sounding of a trumpet; but their highest perfection, as he relates it, was that of singing like Canary birds. However, this is not so marvellous, (for Pliny relates wonderful things of their docility) as what a gentleman told a full company in my hearing, within this fortnight; that he had seen a show at Bristol: which was a hare taught to stand upon her hind-legs, and bow to all the company, to each person particularly, with a very good grace, and then proceed to beat several marches on the drum. After this a dog was set upon the table, his master. the showman, made many grievous complaints against him, for high crimes and misdemeanors. The hare knits her brows, kindles her eyes like a lady, falls in a passion, attacks the dog with all hér her rage and fury, as if she had been his wife,, scratches, bites, and cuffs him round the table, till the spectators had enough for their money.

There is a certain gentleman now in Ireland, most remarkably fond of the marvellous, (but this through vanity) who among an infinite number of the like rarities, affirms, that he has a carp in a pond, by itself, which has for twenty years past. supplied him and his friends with a very good dish

of fish, when they either came to dine or sup with him. And the manner of it is thus; the cookmaid goes with a large kitchen knife, which has a whistle in its handle; she no sooner blows it, but the carp comes to the sluice and turns up its belly, till she cuts out as much as she has occasion for, and then away he scuds; the chasm is filled in a day or two, and the carp is as sound as a roach, ready for the knife again. Now, if he and his cook-maid took the most solemn oath to the truth of this, or the most sanctified quaker should say yea to it, which is made equal to any prelate's oath, I would no more give credit to them, than I would to the colonel, who said he was at the battle of Landen, where his majesty, King William, of glorious memory, lost the day; and this colonel, being in the utmost confusion, fled among the rest; he swore he had galloped above two miles after his horse's head was shot off by a cannon ball, which he should not have missed, if the poor creature had not stopped at a river side to drink.

I should be glad to spend an evening with half a dozen gentlemen of this uncommon genius, for I am certain they would improve upon one another, and thereby, I might have an opportunity of observing how far the marvellous could be carried, or whether it has any bounds at all.

The Insipid, who may not unfitly be called soporific, is one who goes plodding on in a heavy dull relation of unimportant facts. You shall have an account, from such a person, of every minute circumstance which happened in the com