roar," and which, it is presumed, will not be deemed the less interesting, because some of them were productive of merriment to those who have lang since been consigned to the tomb of the Capulets. For if the observation of a celebrated poet, that "true wit is everlasting as the sun," be correct, then it can be no diminution from their merit that they are here occasionally repeated.

It is but justice, however, to observe, that the reader will find in this selection several articles not only of a novel cast, but truly original in their nature, and which have never before met the eye of the public; and it is hoped, on the whole, that the Editor's endeavours to render these volumes A PLEASING APPENDAGE TO THE TEATABLE, as well as "A POST-CHAISE AND PARLOUR COMPANION," will ultimately prove to have been accomplished, by that best of criterions,—an indulgent and a liberal patronage.

THE

PARLOUR PORTFOLIO,

&c.

The following piece was sent to us from Dublin; we shall say no more, but leave it to recommend itself.-1728.

THERE is one kind of conversation, which every one aims at, and every one almost fails in; it is that of story-telling. I know not any thing, which engages our attention with more delight, when a person has a sufficient stock of talents necessary: for it, such as good sense, true humour, a clear head, a ready command of language, and a variety of proper gestures, to give life and spirit to what he says. If any of these be wanting, the listeners, instead of being diverted, are disobliged; but if the person be utterly void of them all, as it is very often the case, he becomes a nuisance to the company, and they are so long upon the rack as he speaks. It has sometimes fallen to my lot, thạt a man whom I never offended, has laid me under the persecution of a long story, and compelled me

to hear what neither concerned himself nor me, nor indeed any body else, and at the same time he was as much in earnest as if both our lives and fortunes, and the felicity of the whole kingdom depended upon what he said. A humour very unaccountable! that a man shall be letting of words for an hour or two, with a very innocent intention, and after he has done his best, only makes me uneasy, and himself contemptible.

This natural infirmity in men, is not only confined to story-telling, but it appears likewise, in every essay whatsoever, of their intellectuals. As for instance, if one of these be a preacher of God's word, by far-fetched criticisms, numerous divisions, and sub-divisions, incoherent digressions, tedious repetitions, useless remarks, weak answers to strong objections, inferences to no premises, tedious exhortations, and many other methods of protraction; he shall draw you out a discourse for an hour and a quarter, unequally dispensing opium and edification to his flock, there being seven sleepers for one hearer. If he be a lawyer, he shall by an uncommon way of amusement, run away with a subject, which might be explained in two minutes, and dilate upon it two hours, with such a volubility of tongue, such affluence of expression, with something so like a good style, and manner of thinking, that the judges and jury, attend with as much gravity, as if there was a continued chain of true reasoning, and solid argument. If he be a member of the upper or lower house, he does not proceed four sentences, before the rest know where to have him an hour hence;

1

in the mean time they divert one another, in talking of matters indifferent, till the gentleman has done. I could give many more instances, but that I think these sufficient for my present purpose; beside, lest I should incur the like reproach myself, I must in a few words, divide the story-tellers into the short, the long, the marvellous, the insipid, and the delightful.

The Short Story-teller is he, who tells a great deal in few words, engages your attention, pleases your imagination, or quickly excites your laughter. Of this rank were Xenophon, Plutarch, Macrobius, among the ancients. Ex. gr.

When the Nephelai of Aristophanes, a satire upon Socrates, was acting, his friends desired him to retire, and hide behind them. No, said Socrates, I will stand up here, where I may be seen; for now I think myself like a good feast, and that every one has share of me. Vide Feast of Xeno

ohon.

Brasidas, the famous Lacedemonian General, caught a mouse; it bit him, and by that means made its escape. "O, Jupiter," said he, "what creature so contemptible, but may have its liberty, if it will contend for it." Vide Plutarch de profect.

virtut.

Diogenes having sailed to Chios, while it was under the dominion of the Persians, said in a full assembly, the inhabitants were fools, for erecting a college, and building temples, since the Persians would not allow them the privilege of making their own priests, but sent them over the most illiterate of their Magi.