Past my threescore and fifteenth year, And like this day, serene but cold. To foes well wishing, and to friends most kind, To the Printer.-Sir, I was born in Greece, and am lineally descended from Democritus, of laughing memory. I had laughed for many years in my own country, but the oppressions we have lately suffered there from our masters, the Turks, had scarce left me any thing to laugh at ; and I am afraid the old proverb, "as merry as a Greek," will be soon forgot. On that occasion having turned my whole substance into ready money, I was willing to indulge my humour, and settle in that country which would afford me the most food for laughter, therefore I enquired among the merchants and captains of ships in our port what placed seemed the most ridiculous; and the universal consent of all assured me, that in England I should find endless subjects for laughter. Fired with this assurance, and happy in having learned that language in my youth, for the convenience of trade, I embarked at Zante, and came to England in one of the last Turkey ships. I have been here but one month, and have laughed ever since. As I have nothing to do but divert myself, (having never been married, lest other fools should laugh at me) I take my daily ramble, and shall occa sionally send you accounts of what adventures I meet with, that I may have the extreme pleasure of not only laughing myself, but of setting the drivellers who read this, a laughing at one another. As soon as I landed in England, I burst out a laughing to see the search of a custom-house officer into my coffers put an end to by a piece of gold; and then I laughed at those who employed him, and did not give him a salary sufficient to make him faithful to his duty. As I was a stranger to the customs of this place, I was willing to have a native of the country to be my constant attendant, and inform me when I might laugh outright, without danger to my bones, or fear of imprisonment, in a place, where I am told, there are a set of interpreters who explain a joke into a thing they call a libel, and might make me pay dear for my mirth. When I was thus resolved, I soon found out a sensible melancholy fellow, who had been a petty officer in the English navy, and had never laughed since he had been paid off, and left unprovided for, because he had no friends: I addressed myself to him, and told him I would maintain him genteely, if he would attach himself to me, and be my guide and adviser, and explain to me what I asked him. The poor fellow grinned his thanks: a hot supper, with a bowl of good punch, set him quite a laughing, and he has grown merrier and merrier every day. The next morning having viewed the fortifications, and laughed at many of the works which were of more service to those who contracted to build them, than they will ever be for defence in time of need, I set out in a post-chaise with honest Tom Topsail for the capital. The first occurrence we met with on the road, was our meeting with four phaetons and pair, with a female in a laced riding-habit, and hat and feather, and a spruce fellow with a laced waistcoat, white silk stockings, and buckskin breeches, in each. I bowed to them, supposing them to be people of quality, when the unlucky rogue, Tom, laughed at me, and told me they were only a pack of waiters at our Covent Garden taverns, who were spending the groats and sixpences their masters customers had given them for waiting on them, and the halfcrowns they got for pimping, in regaling some ladies of the town; and were going to a neighbouring race. I joined with Tom in laughing at my own simplicity, and then we laughed at the folly of those who were so foolish as to pay these fellows for bringing what they were to pay for besides. A fine house and gardens by the road side next attracted our eyes; and when Tom told me it was built by Oliver Omnium, the stockbroker, we laughed at the bubbles with whose gold it had been erected. Nothing more material happened till we arrived in London; and what I meet with in my first walk shall be the subject of my next letter. DEMOCRITUS GELASUS: On the impending Force against this Country. What! shall our treach'rous foes now dare to say, "And England, to our arms, shall soon resign.” That dares to triumph at domestic woe? Doubly is the cause which from thy breasts demands, Wherefore shou'd we doubt Britannia's glorious fame, That fills the veins, which from their loins we robb'd. Britons attend; the crisis now is come, "Tis Brunswick calls to arms, revenge, revenge, -May th' historic page Still mark this æra down from age to age: Thus may he write, whose pen to history draws, Come then, brave Britons, seek thy just revenge, That nought may tarnish this, our Monarch's reign. R I**TI. |