APPENDIX, No. IV. DEVOUT MEDITATIONS.* · I. SELF-ABASEMENT, WITH RESOLUTIONS TO WHAT a poor, lukewarm, unprofitable, unworthy disciple am I ! His How cold and deficient my duty toward God. How mingled with sin my charity toward men. Well may I cry out for quickening grace, and plead for sanctification. When shall my light shine before men and the Gospel be glorified by my conduct. Oh how unlike I am the the blessed Jesus, my Redeemer and my pattern. blessed feet were continually carrying him about to do good; but, alas! mine are prone to wander in the ways of folly. I am all self-abasement, and can hardly bear the review of my most exemplary days. My past life has been one continued course of impiety, and my most holy * Written in England, by Miss Laurens, between the sixteenth and nineteenth year of her age, but not particularly dated. The breaks or divisions with their numbers and heads, or titles, and the general title, are added by the Editor. Í things have been unrighteous. What shall I say then, or whither shall I flee for mercy? but to the great atonement-to the blood of the Redeemer, by which alone I can obtain forgiveness for the iniquities which I have committed in thought, word and deed. O that from this time forward I may be more zealous in the service of my God, and walk more worthy the vocation wherewith I am called; adorning the doctrines of God, my Saviour, in all things, and having my outward behaviour strongly expressive of the inward state of my mind; not making the customs and manners of a corrupt and sinful world the rule by which I walk; but trying myself by the New Testament, the words of Jesus, and the divinely inspired Apostles; and living with a constant regard to death and judgment. How short is time!-How long is eternity! Yet, alas! how is my mind occupied by the things of time-how careless of the things of eternity. Now, dear Jesus, show thyself with power, and work a great deliverance for me that in thee I may become strong, and have fortitude to walk contrary to the way of the world, to take up my cross and follow thee. AMEN. II. A DAY WELL SPENT. BLESSED be God for this day's entertainment. How sweet is the society of lively christians, when we meet together and spend the hours, not in idle chit-chat about dress, or weather, or such unprofitable themes, but in mutual exhortation and encouragement. How comfortably have I passed this day! In the morning I was at the sanctuary, heard the word of salvation, and sat with pleasure under the teaching of the Gospel. When I returned, met with dear fellow members, and adored together the name of Jesus our Lord. In the afternoon I visited serious friends, and entered on the delightful subject, talked of redeeming love and christian meekness; and again this evening met with acquaintance of the same mind, and renewed the delightful converse; and now at night I have been blessed in my retirement, and had great enlargement in prayer, both alone and with my servant. I cannot close a day so distinguished for spiritual mercies without holy elevation, without a song of praise, nor sleep till I have rendered thanks. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and let all that is within me praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. I will praise the Lord while I live, yea, while I have My any being, I will sing praises to my God. heart is fixed, O! God, my heart is fixed; and through time and eternity I shall be thus employed, singing songs of everlasting triumph, and loud hallelujahs to the slain Lamb, the purchaser of all our hopes, and ground of our rejoicing. III. PREPARATION FOR AN HOUR OF TRIAL. I AM now going into gay, worldly, and, I even fear, that I shall meet with profane company. O! that though grace I may have courage to show a becoming spirit and remembering the honourable name which I bear, may I not be ashamed to act as a christian, and to let religion tincture every word and action. O! heavenly Father, now shed abroad in my heart thy Holy Spirit, and let nothing but holiness proceed out of my mouth. Enable me so to demean myself, that all may take been with Jesus, knowledge of me that I have Let the law of kindness dwell upon my tongue; and teach me to discountenance sin in the very spirit of humility. Show me the effectual moments, the proper opportunities for speaking in defence of the Gospel, for glorifying the name of Jesus, and give me a heart to embrace them. Let not the fear of singularity make me a babbler; but if I can bear no Í innocent and useful part in conversation, keep me silent. Let the remembrance of my solemn vows be ever before me, and enable me, this day, to stand fast in the covenant of Christ, joyfully confessing him before men. Here me, O God, for thy mercy's sake, and have pity on a poor frail creature. IV. AN ACT OF CONTRITION, WITH HOPES OF I HAD fainted unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord. My feet had well nigh slipt, and I was bowed down with sorrow. Satan has distressed me with his vile suggestions. Doubts and fears have perplexed me, and I have been sore oppressed by my corruptions; yet blessed be my compassionate High Priest, my merciful Saviour, who hears me from the very depths of woe, and though I am now in darkness, gives me hope that I shall still see him; that his mercy is not clean gone for ever; but that I shall yet rejoice in the Lord, and go forth with strength, conquering and to conquer. |