What it was that mov'd me to entertain difcourfe of this business so far as I did, I will tell you ingenuoufly: and that, rather as a warning for others, than that it makes any thing for my self. It was only an impatience of the inconveniences of the prefent war; looking on things with a carnal eye; and not minding that which chiefly (if not only) ought to have been confider'd, the inestimable value of the cause you have in hand; the caufe of GOD, and of religion; and the neceffities you are forced upon for the maintenance of the fame. As a juft punishment for this neglect, it pleased GoD to defert, and fuffer me, (with a fatal blindness!) to be led on, and engaged in fuch counfels as were wholly difproportion'd to the reft of my life! This, Sir, my own confcience tells me was the cause of my failing; and not malice, or any ill habit of mind, or difpofition, toward the commonwealth, or to the Parliament. For, from whence fhould I have it? If you look on my birth, you will not find it in my blood: I am of a stock which hath born you better fruit: if you look on my education, it hath been almost from my childhood in this House, and among the best sort of men: and for the whole practise of my life, 'till this time !————if another were to speak for me, he might reasonably fay that neither my actions out of Parliament, nor my expreffions in it, have favored of diaffection, or malice, to the liberties of the people, or privileges of Parlia ment. Thus, Sir, I have fet before your eyes, both my perfon, and my cafe: wherein I fhall make no fuch defenfe by denying, or extenuating, any thing I have done, as ordinary delinquents do. My address to you, and all my plea, shall only be fuch as children use to their parents; I have offended; I confefs it; I never did any thing like it before; it is a paffage unfuitable to the whole courfe of my life befide: and, for the time to come, as GOD (that can bring light out of darkness) hath made made this bufinefs in the event useful to you, fo alfo hath he to me: you have by it made an happy discovery of your enemies; and I, of my self, and the evil principles I walk'd by: so that if you look either on what I have been heretofore, or what I now am, and (by God's grace affifting me!) fhall always continue to be, you may perhaps think me fit to be an example of your compaffion, and clemency. : Sir, I fhall no fooner leave you, but my life will depend on your breath; and not that alone, but the fubfiftence of fome that are more innocent. I might therefore fhew you my children, whom the rigor of your justice would make complete orphans, being already motherless I might shew you a family, wherein there are fome unworthy to have their share in that mark of infamy which now threatens us: but, fomething there is, which if I could fhew you, would move you more than all this; it is my heart; which abhors what I have done, and is more fevere to it felf, than the fevereft judge can be. A heart! Mr. Speaker, fo awaken'd by this affliction, and fo entirely devoted to the cause you maintain, that I earneftly defire of GOD to incline you, to difpofe of me, (whether for life, or for death!) as may moft conduce to the advancement thereof. Sir, not to trouble you any longer, if I die, I shall die praying for you; if I live, I fhall live ferving you, and render you back the ufe and imployment of all thofe days you fhall add to my life. After this, having withdrawn himself, he was called in again, and (being by the Speaker required thereto) gave them an exalt account how he came firft to the knowledge of this bufinefs, as alfo what Lords were acquainted therewith, or had engaged themfelves therein. To To the Right Honorable the Earl of My LORD, AVING obtained leave to write to your Lord HAVIN ship, and having but a very little time to perform it in, I fhall not make any apology to fatisfy You (as I might do) of the way I proceed in; which if it were to be try'd by the rules of Neceffity and Honor (even in the common acceptation thereof) if You knew all circumstances, I doubt not but I fhould be justified therein. My Lord, I befeech You know that this bufiness was never meant for Your knowledge, either by the Lord Conway, or Sir Hugh Pollard. The only reason I imparted it to Your Lordship was, that by You (in whom I had fo great confidence both for Your judgment, and friendship towards me) I might be inAtructed how far that Lord Conway might be trusted, with whom Sir Hugh so often urged me to speak. This You might perceive by fome ftrangeness towards You when we first met at Pollard's chamber, and often after, when that Lord whisper'd to me a part, which for the most part he did when he mention'd the Earl of Northumberland: fo that, but for me, I think (nay I am confident) You had never known any thing of this business, which was by Them prepar'd for another. And therefore I cannot imagine why You should wed it fo far as to contract your own ruin by concealing it, and perfifting unreasonably to hide that truth, which without You already is, and will every day be made more manifelt. Can You imagine Your felf obliged in honor to keep that fecret which is already reveal'd by another or poffible it should still be a fecret, which is known to one of the other Sex? (though for a time deny'd.) No, my my Lord! Be most affur'd that if You still perfift to be cruel to Your felf for others fakes that deferve it not, it will nevertheless be made appear e'er-long, I fear, to Your ruin. Sure if I had the happiness to wait on You I cou'd move You to compaffionate both Your self and me, who (as defperate as my cafe is!) am defirous to dye with the honor of being known to have declared the truth; which God knows I have in every circumstance to the uttermoft of my remembrance. And once more I befeech You for God's fake (the fountain of truth) to do the like. Much more I have to fay (if I might be permitted to confer with Your Lordship about it) whereby I can demonftrate that You have no reason in the confideration of honor, profit or friendship, vainly to contend to hide what is already reveal'd, and shall at last be made most manifeft, inconfiderately to throw Your felf away for the intereft of others, and fuch to whom You are lefs obliged than You are aware of; and to them to make a facrifice of Your noble family, and (as much as in You lies) of the life and fortune of him that has ever been moft unfeignedly, and never more shew'd it than in the humble and hearty advice he now gives You, Your LORDSHIP'S moft humble, and most faithful Servant, and Kinfman, May God in time direct Your heart to that which is moft pleafing to him, and the only way to preferve Your felf before it be too late! EDM. WALLER, To my Lady Lucy Sidney,* upon the Marriage of my Lady Dorothy, her Sifter, to my Lord Spencer. Madam, IN 'N this common joy at Penshurst I know none to whom complaints may come lefs unfeasonable than to your Ladyship; the Lofs of a bed-fellow being almoft equal to that of a mistress: and therefore you ought, at leaft, to pardon, if you confent not to, the imprecations of the deserted; which juft heaven no doubt will hear! May my Lady Dorothy, (if we may yet call her fo). fuffer as much, and have the like paffion for this young Lord, whom she has prefer'd to the reft of mankind, as others have had for her! And may this love, before the year go about, make her tafte of the first curfe impos'd on womankind, the pains of becoming a mother! May her firft-born be none of her own fex! nor fo like her, but that he may resemble her Lord as much as her felf! May the that always affected filence, and retirednefs, have the house fill'd with the noife, and number, of her children; and hereafter of her grand-children! and then, may fhe arrive at that great curse so much declin'd by fair Ladies, old age! May the live to be very old, and yet feem young; be told fo by her glass, and have no aches to inform her of the truth! And when she shall appear to be mortal, may her Lord not mourn for her, but go hand in hand with her to that place, where we are told there is neither marrying, nor giving in marriage; that being there divorced, we may all have an equal intereft in her again! My revenge being immortal, They were married at Penshurst, July 11, 1639. I |