Such was then our inconfiderate reafoning. But I own to you, my dear friend, that my fentiments have fince undergone an entire alteration. The very day after I commenced a bachelor of arts, the mist, which had for a long time obfcured my mental vifion, began to vanish. I faw my own character in a jufter light, than ever. I was mortified, that my performance at commencement was not equal to what my friends expected. To tell the truth, I had hired a claffmate to write it; and he, not feeling the fame refponfibility, as if it were his own, had written it indifferently. But what moft diftreffed me was the confcioufnefs, that I had laid no foundation for the profeffion I contemplated. My first resolution was to instruct a school. But I had the mortification to find, that thofe fteady claffmates, whom I used to ridicule and defpife, had the earliest and best applications. Besides, I did not choose to refide near the University or my na tive town, left the report of my collegial character should deftroy my reputation with my employers, and injure my authority with my pupils. I was hence induced to accept a moder ate offer in an obfcure town, where I hoped to lie concealed, till I should gain a character, which would not dread examina tion. In this fecluded place I found but few books. The clergyman of the parish was so much of a farmer, as to be able to afford me but little inftruction. I had confequently the more time for reflection. The more I reflected, the more did I condemn and resolve to renounce the follies of my past life. By degrees I abstained from fociety. My foul became involved in all the horrors of melancholy. I fometimes meditated the laft fad act of defperation, as my only relief from remorfe and dread. But, God's mercy be praised, I was "as a firebrand plucked out of the burning." Inftead of abandoning myself to defpair, I had recourfe to fervent devotion and attentive perufal of the facred Scriptures. Having by me fome elementary authors in Greek, I applied myself to the ftudy of this neglected language, and found great affiftance in understanding and retaining the fenfe of difficult texts. In the family, where I boarded, was one volume of an old commentator. Thus was my attention gradually turned toward a critical examination of the Bible. In this fituation I continued a year. Almost every day fresh light and comfort rushed upon my mind, till I had fatisfactory evidence, that I was a fincere penitent. I will not particularly relate to you the various exercises of my mind during this critical period. Suffice it to fay, that I was emboldened to make a Christian profeffion, and have ever fince lived in fome good measure agreeably to its folemn obligations. I will not conceal from you my mingled emotions, the first commencement I attended after my remarkable reformation, The old companions of my vicious pursuits welcomed me with profane and noify transports. But how foon were they stricken dumb, when informed of the alteration in my character, and when I avoided them for more congenial fociety. Meeting my more ferious fellow-ftudents, they at first shunned me, as an intruder. They imagined, that I must have affumed the garb, without the heart, of a Christian minister, How great was their joy, when certified of my amendment! I can truly declare, that the enjoyments of that day exceeded in folid worth all the pleasures, I had ever experienced in vicious courfes. As foon as I could gain approbation, I began to preach. But often was I wounded to the quick, on hearing it infultingly afked by fome, though honeftly by others, "Is Saul alfo among the prophets?" Is it poffible, that he, who was formerly fo diffipated, can be fincere in his religious profeffions? Such circumstances have served to harrow my foul; though I hope they have given rife to profitable felf-examination. When I was ordained, it was my fincere wifh, that my past errors might be forgotten, or, at least, that they might never be reported within the bounds of my parish. This was not because I wished to act the odious part of a hypocrite; but because I knew, that fuch rumours would answer no valuable purpose among my parifhioners; and they might do much harm. Yet how vain are all fuch precautions! Let none prefume to commit unworthy actions with the hope of concealment, either from companions in guilt, or from remoteness of fituation. "A bird of the air fhall carry the voice, and that which hath wings, fhall tell the matter." I foon found, that my youthful foibles and vices were not concealed from my people. My friends often alluded to them to show the imperfection of man, and my enemies to palliate their own misconduct. It is a most painful confideration, that I have thus given "occafion to the enemies of the Lord to blafpheme." When I preach against certain vices of the times, I can easily trace in the countenances of my young auditors, that fo far from taking my obfervations to themselves, they invariably apply them to the preacher. That my paft life affords fuch grounds of cenfure, I find to be a very serious inconvenience in my profeffion. It leffens my influence over offenders, both as they plead my former example in their defence, and as it checks my freedom of reproof. It is now my fincere wish to guard the young, especially thofe defigned for the ministry, against the unhappy mistakes, which I have committed. Early caution will fave them many a pang. They should abftain from the very appearance of evil, as well as from pofitive vice, if they would preferve that confiftency of character, which becomes a herald of evangelical purity. Like Cefar's wife, they must be free not only from guilt, but even from fufpicion. I can honeftly declare, that I have had no fruit in thofe things, of which I am now afhamed. I regret my former ill chofen connexions, indolent habits, and vicious practices. I particularly lament the uncharitable judgments I used to form refpecting feveral diftinguished divines. I now find, that I fhall in vain hope to equal thofe, whom I once heard with contempt. I have been thus particular in my reply to your favour, that you may be affured of my reformation, and that you may caution all whom it may concern, within the circle of your acquaintance, against the like neceffity. With fincere friendship I am yours, M. Y. 214 For the MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY. REVERIE IN AN EVENING WALK. "An undevout aftronomer is mad." GREAT and marvellous are thy works, Lord, God Almighty; just and true are all thy ways, thou King of faints." Such is the warm and elevated language of infpiration. Such are the sentiments of piety and love. The existence of a Being infinitely good, wife and powerful, is fo ftrikingly displayed on all the works of creation, that to doubt it shows ingratitude, to deny it, impiety. "Every thing giveth proof of God; every thing, that proveth it, giveth cause of adoration." Let the bold infidel attentively examine the beauty and grandeur of the universe; and confider the conftitution of his own nature, fearfully and wonderfully made. Let him reflect on the revolutions of the feafons, and the charming diverfity, they afford. Let him contemplate the lively bloom of fpring, the rich splendour of summer, the ripe luxuriance of autumn, and the hoary face of winter ; "Or look abroad through nature to the range Of planets, funs, and adamantine spheres, Will not the furvey of scenes, fo beautiful, fo wonderful, fa Loft to the noble fallies of the foul." Although a clear evidence of divine perfection may be derived from examining the wonderful structure of the body, and the noble faculties of the foul; from contemplating the lower or ders of creation, and the delightful varieties of the earth; yet when we raise our view, and furvey "the fpacious firmament on high," where "Orbs wheel in orbs, round centres, centres roll;" our belief is ftrengthened, and our admiration is increased. We cannot but exclaim with the Pfalmift, "The heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament sheweth his handy work." He, who can behold these splendid objects of almighty 'power with indifference, muft either poffefs the coldness of infidelity, or, in the forcible language of our motto, must be mad. In contemplating the heavens, there is a pleasure, which, to a pious and reflecting mind, is far more pure and fublime, than any other employment can afford. It is a pleasure, derived from the fweetest and most refined affections of the heart; from the affections of love, gratitude and devotion. At the folemn hour of night, when every breath is peace, and not a cloud obfcures the ferenity of the heavens, who can behold the "blue ethereal sky," spangled with innumerable stars, "Forever finging as they shine, The hand that made us is divine," without glowing with admiration for wonders, fo magnificent, without feeling adoration for their great Creator? "There is a noble pathos in the skies, Which warms our paffions, profelytes our hearts.” The mind is exalted by their majefty and enlightened by their fplendour. Imagination is awakened; and while our eyes are elevated above the earth, we feem to approach nearer to the prefence of that almighty Being," who hath measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, and meted out heaven with a span, and comprehended the duft of the earth in a measure, and weighed the mountains in fcales, and the hills in a balance.” ALCANDER. MR. EDITOR, FOR THE MONTHLY ANTHOLOGY. CHURCH MUSIC. THERE is nothing more difcordant to my feelings, than most of the mufic, with which our temples are at prefent profaned. |