at our claise-bags on the booms there— Devil tak me, gif they're no waur now o' this day's ploy, than e'er they were afore." "Well, Gibbie, I see all the bags on the booms," replied the first Lieutenant, with the most provoking calmness -"what of them, my old lad?" ly: "it's neither the wetting nor the soiling, nor the trowsers either, that Den. nis cares for-no, the devil an inch on them, at all, at all. It's the sin, and the shame, and the abomination of a great bulky fellow like Lawrenson being unable to keep his day-lights open like other people while he's on duty-but must be after napping, like a lubber, at such a place as the wheel; wetting, and abusing, and murdering what it costs a poor fellow so much confounded botheration and trouble to kape anything decentish-That's the matter, Gibbie, if you must have it." "I canna say I understand ye a'thegither, Denny, lad," cried Gilbert, wondering. "How the blazes should you, or how the devil can you, Gibbie, when the never a morsel of you's willing!" retorted Dennis, impatiently. "By the powers of Moll Kelly, but I'm after believing, boy, 'twill be beat into your cannister in a twinkling, whether you will or not, when once you come to overhaul the clothes-bag you scrubbed but yestermorn so nicely-when you once come to shift yourself as you call it-faith, and it will be a Shetland shift, I suppose-Ay, you may stare, my old blade-it's your own dearlybeloved and well-filled clothes-bag that I mane; and it lies up there, honey, pointing to the booms as well as my own, sure that's some comfort, however-and I sincerely hope, darling, that by this time it will be equally well soaked with salt water." "Forgie us, Denny, that's a mischanter that ne'er entered my poor auld scap," cried Gilbert, in great trepidation, as for the first time he beheld the unsheltered state of the ship's wardrobe. "Gude guide us, man, fat shall be done! [scratching his head something of a surety we maun do directly quite aff hand, in a manner -or a' our claise will be completely spoilt-Uh, Lord's sake! that's terrible; a' our gude things gaun heelsower-head to the wuddie, and ne'er a ane to halt them.-Just haud ye there a minute;" So saying, he immediately ran aft on the quarter-deck to the first Lieutenant, who, all things made snug, now stood carelessly chatting to the young gentlemen abaft the wheel, and having made his usual clumsy obeisance, suddenly burst out with a "Lord s sake, your honour, just turn round and look "Hech me!” cried Gilbert, in a tone of amazement,-" does your honour really no see-you that has sic a gleg e'e at a' thing else, too!-Forgie us, Maister Fyke, d'ye no see that they're a' just perfectly dreeping; and that the whole tot o' our jackets, and trowsers, and clean sarks, and a' ither matters, forbye our sape and tobacco, will just be a' in a kirn through-ither by this time, and as wet as muck?-Eh, sir, hae some pity, and let's tak them below; for, weel I wot, muckle and nae little trouble we had before we got them sae clean as they are.-At ony event, sir, I maun be sae bauld as tell ye, that gif ye dinna pipe them down on a suddenty, the deil a dry steek will ane o' us hae to change anither-" "Which certainly would be a great pity, indeed, my good old fellow, when it can be so easily prevented," said the first Lieutenant, interrupting him.— "Go forward, and send Bird to me directly." "Od, sir, gif ye've nae objections to an auld chiel like me, I'll save Tam Bird and your honour ony mair fash about the matter. I'se warrant I'll rair and rout as loud as Tam, for as auld as I'm." "Be smart, then, my old boy," cried Lieutenant Fyke, smiling, "and let me hear you roar it out lustily." Gilbert replied not, but, after giving the signal to Dennis and his companions, gained the booms with an agility which he seldom displayed, as speedily clutched his bag, then leaping with it on the deck, and applying his forefingers to his mouth, he made the decks ring again with a cheering whistle, singing out most gallantly, "Hey, callants! down wi' a' your bags, boys!" and disappeared in a twinkling, to the infinite amusement of the officers on deck. As each individual vied with his fellows in the eager desire of conveying his moveables to a place of greater security from the weather than the one they then occupied, the bags quickly vanished from the booms. Dinner was then piped; and the weather still con The Man-of-War's-Man. Chap. X. tinuing doubtful, with occasional squalls, no farther duty was required that afternoon than the usual relief to the mast-head and the wheel. This fortunate circumstance affording all hands an ample opportunity of employing the passing time according to their own hearts, a very few, in imitation of the thrifty Gilbert, were to be seen busying themselves in overhauling and examining the exact extent of the damage their clothes had sustained from the spray,-others, dulled and worn out from the fatigues of the morning, gladly huddled together for repose -while all the more active and buoyant spirits knotted jovially together for mirth and conversation, in the course of which many bitter sarcasms and 311 coarse anecdotes were narrated of skip- There is one thing, my mate, that I mortally hate, WHEN Edward went on deck the following morning, he was agreeably surprised to find not only the weather highly improved, but the vessel, reinstated in all her usual gear, gliding smoothly and swiftly through a rippling sea, which danced and sparkled to the brilliant sunbeams of a beautiful morning. Having relieved himself of his hammock, he was sauntering slowly forward, no doubt somewhat gratified at the labour he had escaped, by the industry or the impatience of the officer of the watch, when, in passing the fore rigging, he observed a topman, with whom he was familiar, coming running downwards, who, leaping on deck, exhibited a face of considerable exhaustion. "Hilloah, shipmate," exclaimed Edward, laying hold of this half-winded marine voltigeur, "whither away so fast?-Zounds, man, halt and take breath, can't you?-You've had a tightlaced spell enough of it this morning already, and certainly may now take things a little more coolly.' "Coolly, say'st thou, Ned?" cried the topman in a tone of wonder, "Lord, Lord, how people does talk! -Dost see who's got the watch, lad? dost not see that d-d fiery-faced fellow, the Spread Eagle, yonder, strutting the quarter-deck like a little admiral, and keeping all the afterguard at their points as stiff as mustard, whilst all the while he is bothering very smart, either, in mistaking what you are completely out, for all your you've done too much in such a short 312 The Man-of-War's-Man. Chap. XI. of all the officers in the ship-a fellow "Phew, phew! my lad of wax! "His duty!" cried Edward, sneeringly;" I'll tell you what, Joe, if this same duty lies in drinking grog till all is blue, and he can neither distinguish 'tween friend or foe, but will kick and cuff, and level with the deck every unfortunate man or boy who comes athwart his bows, then I'll grant him the praise of saying that there's not such another officer for ability as I know on in the service." "Well, well, Davis, take your own way on't; for, dang it, you're too much of a lawyer for me to prate with. For my own part, d'ye see, I'll only say this, my lad, and I've had ten years more on't than you, that I thinks there [March, fellows than Master Swipey in the serare hundreds and hundreds of far worse vice, and my poor shoulders could testifik the same, could they but give it mouth. That he's a seaman every inch brave, generous, and hearty; and then on him no one can deny, for he is both I am certain he is no niggard of his lending a fellow a hand on occasions. grog, nor one who will wince from In short, barring his fondness for larkand this ugly morning's cry-out of ing and mischief when he is malty, Crockfort "Crockfort!" cried Edward, interrupting this apologist, "Crockfort, the barber: why, what of him, Sedley?" "Oh, is that all you know about it ?" cried the topman in surprise ; Dang it, han’t you heard that there news yet since you turned out ?" "No, not a syllable; for you're the first I've spoke to." Bah, bah, Ned; that will never go down. I knows well enough you're a quietish sort of a chap, but what then? you've your ears as well as your neighbours, and I'll be bound to say come, confess and be hung at once. can make as good a use on 'em. Come, Tell ine seriously now, han't you heard all about my poor towny, Jackey Crockfort?" "Not a syllable, upon my soul," him, pray?" eried our hero, gravely. "But what of he's only in limbo, that's all," cried "Oh, nothing remarkably mighty Sedley, coolly," as fast, my boy, as if the devil had him, or the ship's darbies can make him; and I han't a doubt but, poor devil, he'll catch it from hours go by." Tom Bird's best cats before many "The blazes he will!-Zounds, what has he been doing, Joe?" to spin at present, mate; for you hear from the top. "You, Sedley, are you "Ay, ay," cried Sedley, looking aloft, and immediately sprang from our hero's side, and disappeared down the hatchway in search of the Boatswain's yeoman. Edward's curiosity was now so sufficiently raised, that he failed not to be at some pains in endeavouring to come countryman over Gilbert the moment they came in contact; and speedily succeeded in cajoling the garrulous old man into excellent humour. "Tuts, lad," he began, " is't the barber body ye're making a' thir inquiries anent? I can tell ye a' about that story fine, as I hae nae meikle ado at present, and first, I maun fairly confess to ye, that ne'er a thing the creature's done, in the scaith way, but just gotten itsel fou." "Why, Gibbie, if that's all the ill he has done, I am glad of it," cried Edward; "for Joe Sedley made me believe it was something more serious. As it is, poor fellow, I am sorry for him, for he must suffer dreadfully both in body and mind,-particularly, you know, when he thinks of behaving so very improperly as to compel Mr Swipey to put him in irons." "Whisht, whisht, callant, ye're speaking downright havers, and hae a wrang set o' the story a'thegither. I plainly see ye neither comprehend nor ken onything at a' about the matter. -Losh forgie me! wha ever heard o' a barber suffering in body and mind! -But ye ken nae better, my man, and I winna jeer at you enow. Ye may take my word for't, however, that Joseph Sedley tald ye sterling truth whan he ca'd it a serious matter; and I tell you the like whan I ca'd not only a serious but a fell stupid yin. Forgie us, man, just bethink ye for a moment, that were ye to be left sae graceless as to be tempted to try your hand at thieving, wad ye be sic a gomeril as to be the first to tell on yoursel? Na, faith ye; ye come frae the wrang side o' the Tweed for sic foolery; and yet this was what Crockfort did, the doited body; -for it first gangs, ye maun ken, the daring rogue, and nibbles a gude blow out of Mr Swipey's mess-grog, and syne gets itself so stupid, in the pouring o't down its ain muzzle, as to be the very first to tell the haill ship's company wha was the thief.-Uh! thae Englishers, though they think there's naebody like them, they're no half up a Scotsman has mair wit in his little pirley, after a', than they've in their haill buke, for a' their puffing and blasting.-Aweel, devil take me, Davis, if I wasna like to rive my aulá sides wi' laughing whan the poor donnart creature was brought upon the quarter-deck this morning-Lord, man, he looked sae wild, and spake sae muckle, slapping his breast and his brow, and cutting as mony cantrips as ony puggie in a' Bartlemy fair. It was my first trick at the wheel, ye maun ken, though I've ne'er been relieved till this moment, and Master Swipey was bustling, and running, and roaring himsel hearse, getting a' thing in order, whan, a' in a moment, up springs a thing full flaucht ower the main hatchway moulding, just a' in a moment, an' it doitered and it flichtered, and it stotted and stammered, a’ ower the quarter-deck-drave Mr Swipey this way, and auld Thomas, the quarter-master, that-and before we could lay salt to its tail, we were sae surprised-it's down the hatch again, and aff wi' itscl.-But bide ye a bit; Ye ken weel eneuch what Master Swipey is-my certy, no a chield that'll stand nonsense frae ony yin, be he man, or be he devil. Sae what does he do, think ye, but leaves a' thing to gae hither and yont, and away he rins after this prankster himsel. Gude faith, he wasna lang o' lugging him on deck, and wha should he turn out to be but the dance-in-my-lufe shaving body Crockfort, as drunk as Chloe. Aweel, ye see, mony a question Master Swipey put till him anent whar he got the liquor, but ne'er an answer Crockfort returned, but banned, and kicked, and raired, just like a perfect heathen; so when he saw it was just an affpit o' time to be bothering wi' him ony lang er, he ordered him to be lashed to the boom wi' the signal halliards, until he sobered a little, and syne returned to the wark as if naething had happened. Weel, after a', deil a bit o' me thinks that Master Swipey, hellicate as he is, wad hae gane ony farther in the matter, than just fastening him as he did to prevent him frae doing himsel a mischief, had he not discovered shortly after that the key o' his liquor case was a-missing. After finding a' his pouches ower and ower again, a thought seemed to strike him, and down he ran below. What he missed I'll no say; but the upshot o' the matter was, that he came up again in a minute just like a raging devil, yoked on the barber, and I verily believe wad hae gien him a lump o' his death, had he not been halted by the sudden appearance of the Skipper himsel, in his night gown, who, seeing poor Crockfort, and hearing o' his thievery, immediately ordered the serjeant of marines to put him in irons, and retired to his cabin. That's the story, Edward, and there the poor devil will likely remain until after divisions, whan ye'll learn a' the rest o' the history yoursel; for, my certy, had the Skipper fifty other faults, he's no yin that puts aff muckle time wi' thae mat ters. "But do you really think that he'll flog the poor fellow, "Gibbie ?" "Do I think it, you haverel! troth, I am sure o't; for, not to speak o' the doited creature filling itsel fou, which is yin o' the Skipper's deadly sins, he is guilty o' stealing, and that's anither -ay, and what maks the business the uglier, he is guilty o' a fair breach o' trust; for, ye ken, the gashing body was the servant, and steward, and barber, and baker o' the young gentlemen's mess, for which Mr Swipey catered, and of course had opportunities of doing mair mischief than ony yin's aware of. Flag him, say'st thou ! my certy, he may depend upon that, saul o' me, baith hot and hearty. I wadna be surprised though they gae him the round five dozen. But really, poor devil, I'm sorry for him after a', although the bit cocking morsel wadna shave me the ither day; for a' the ills that's happened ever since we came out will be clapped on his back-and then, gude guide us there's the thief's cat in Tam's bulky paws playing buff on your shoulders.-Uh! I declare, it maks my flesh a' creep even to think on't." "Is there much difference between it and the common cat, Gibbie ?" "Difference, callant, say'st thou!There's just this difference, I trow, that though the common yin be ill and ill enough, yet, saul o' me, it's a mere flea-bite to the thief's cat; for, ye see, no to speak o' its additional length, which maks an unskeellie fallow some times hit ye ower baith the neck and face, it has an additional tier o' knots, and the ends o' the tails are whipt. Losh, man, I've seen-Eh-is't that time already-O weel behaved, honest Tam, blaw awa', like a brave lad!" The breakfast pipe brought honest Gilbert's conversation to an abrupt close; for no sooner did he see the silver call produced, than protesting, by his gude faith, that a man of his years required regular provender, and plenty of it, and that four hours of the wheel in a morning might well make a sound stomach ravenous, he disappeared down the fore hatchway. There were ever two ways of telling a story, and Edward had ample occasion to hear this verified long before breakfast was over. For while one party, with Gilbert, condemned the unfortunate scratcher of chins-not for getting drunk, but for purloining the key of his master's liquor case ;another, more numerous, more zealous, and more noisy, as boldly asserted that the story was all a bamm-that the precious Master Swipey loved it too well himself ever to have any grog in reserve to steal-and that, for their parts, they firmly believed that the whole was a mean rascally scheme to enable him to get a fresh supply from the Purser. But, be that as it may, it was impossible for Edward not to perceive that business was going forward which made Gilbert's assertion perfectly correct; for while he observed Tom Bird and his assistant busied in examining the state of their cats, he could also mark the quarter-masters as they silently stole one by one into the Boatswain's store room to prepare their seizings. At length the eventful hour was sounded on the bell, divisions were piped, and all hands stood shortly in goodly array. The most death-like silence prevailed, every eye being fixed by universal consent on the procedure of the quarter-deck, when, contrary to common practice, Mr Fudgeforit made his appearance first, placed a volume on the capstan, and immedi❤ ately retired, giving place to Captain Switchem and his first Lieutenant, who now appeared, with hangers girt on thigh, in proper fighting costume. After making his usual scrutiny into the cleanliness of his crew and their decks, the Captain made a halt at the capstan; and, with what he meant to be his sternest voice, commanded all hands aft, the carpenter to rigg out his grating, and the serjeant of marines to produce his prisoner. The poor barber, stupified and crestfallen with the effects of the liquor and fear together, speedily made his appearance, with a marine at each elbow, |