bad, and you have abused mercy too much, ever to be forgiven. But, O my Jesus, I have tasted too much of thy marvellous sweetness, to forget it, and leave thee so easily. No, I cannot do it. I lay myself at thy feet; and if I die, I am resolved it shall be there, even before the cross. I know that I deserve everlasting damnation; but this thought, though dreadful, does not pierce me so deeply, as my vile ingratitude to my soul'sbest friend. I start at the view of myself. Is it possible? Three days ago, and I thought, I could have gone with thee to prison, and to death. Three days ago, and I had an answer for every doubt, for every enemy; my sky was clear, and my cup run over with joy; now every thing oversets me, and I lie in darkness, and gloomy night. My trembling heart hardly dares speak to its injured Lord, and Satan strives to discourage it more, and more, and even to make it despair; but blessed be God, yes, I will bless my God, for it is he that does it. The devil has not been able to keep me from a throne of grace, with all his subtlety, and I have been kneeling there with shame and confusion of face. I have not been able to say one word, but only show my Jesus a wounded, broken, contrite spirit.

Dearest Lord, despise not my polluted sacrifice, but give some look of kind compassion to a mourning soul. I am all filth, and guilt, and uncleanness. My soul is covered with leprosy;

but I know that if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean, and restore me to peace and comfort.

Let me humbly plead with my Lord, and earnestly implore his pity. I am a helpless, undone sinner, that, without a glance from thee, or a cheering ray, must sink into despondency.

Dear, kind shepherd, for thine own name, and for thine honour's sake, recal a wandering sheep, and bring me, to feed again in the sweet pastures of thy love. O magnify thy grace in me, a poor silly creature; and be thou glorified by my consolation. I thank and adore thee, sweet Jesus, for any rills of comfort, any glimpse of relief, to my distressed mind. Show me again the reviving light of thy countenance; let me once more enjoy sweet communion with thee, and my trembling soul find refuge in thy bleeding wounds. Help me to walk more circumspectly, and never to spend another day in so foolish, vain, and worldly a manner, seeing its dreadful consequences are the wounding of my own soul; offending my dear Lord; grieving the Holy Spirit and filling me full of sorrow, darkness, and indevotion. O, give me strength from above, to walk more closely with my God.

XIII.

COMFORT IN RESIGNATION.

My soul, be of good courage, wait on the Lord, and he shall strengthen thy heart; let not the howling of the savage beasts, which rove about this forest, affright thee, nor the pricking of the thorns, which grow thick throughout the way, deter thee from thy duty; thou shalt not have one more trial than is necessary, nor shall the cross ever be heavier than thou canst bear.

Jesus will support me through all the dreary wilderness; nor ever leave his pilgrim comfortless, unless for a season, if need be, that my faith and patience, being tried, may be found not wanting; and that being purified, as with fire, I may be counted worthy to receive the end of my faith, even the salvation of my soul. Sometimes it is dark enough within, and the thick clouds of unbelief, almost intercept my sight; but I call to mind, my past experiences, and remember the old loving kindnesses of my Lord. I think on Christ's unbounded love, and rest with sweet delight upon the gracious promises. I often enjoy inexpressible rapture, in the contradiction of my own will, and in the midst of distress, am enabled to sing songs of triumph.

XIV.

COMMUNION WITH GOD UNDER DISAPPOINTMENTS.

A LITTLE time ago, I met with a considerable disappointment, and in a matter too that lay much upon my heart-but I shall never forget the comfort I received. I shut myself out from the world, and in bitterness of spirit, fell low before my Saviour. I poured forth floods of tears before him. I showed him my rebellious heart, ready to repine, because things went not as I would have them. My dear Master gave me a look of kind compassion, and with ineffable sweetness smiled graciously upon me. Nature was subdued--Grace triumphant. I left him not till my whole soul was melted to resignation, and I went forth from my chamber, cheerful and easy, without a single wish, but in subserviency to the divine direction, and desiring nothing but that God's will may be done in me, and by me, and upon me. I find such happines in this state of mind, that it is my utmost ambition to attain an entire submission to the decrees of Providence, so that I may receive, what to my short sightedness appears evil, with the same thankfulness, as the most desirable things in the world-and even accounting it all joy, that I am thought worthy to suffer, knowing that nothing happens by chance, and every dispensation, if my own stubbornness

prevent it not, will work for my eternal welfare, and every cross be made a step to glory

As the reviving stream to the thirsty hart; as the soft nocturnal dews to the parched herbage; and as plenteous showers after long drought in summer; so, dear fountain-head of refreshment, and infinitely more, are the emenations of thy love and the waterings of thy grace, to my thirsty, dry, and parched soul. Thou art my retreat from the burning sun, and the shelter of my defenceless head.

To thy bosom do I flee for refuge, from the heliish darts of Satan; and hide myself in thee, from all my ghostly enemies.