INGLESIDE CHIT-CHAT. BI 'THE SQUIRE.' 'HERE'S the Will, but where's the Testament ?'-CAPTAIN CUTTLE. It will be recollected· Here the Parson left off reading from the Tattleton Gazette,' in my last chapter. I wish people would n't have spasms!' said Mrs. Otis, the next morning, at table, when I told her why the Doctor left so early; 'I wish people would n't have spasms; they look so disagreeable!' Mrs. Otis is a notable philosopher, as well as a good housekeeper, and I assented quite cordially as she handed me a rich cup of Mocha; my nod of assent answering both for the remark and the coffee too. Happening to glance at Martha, who sits always on my right, I noticed a slight twitching in the corners of her Hebean mouth; but she instantly controlled it, and looked as meek, demure and gentle as ever. The fact is, Martha is almost a woman; being fully sixteen; and ever since the reflection of the Lieutenant, I have come to remark that she is surprisingly pretty. Sixteen! Well, Time plies his scythe rather swiftly for one so old as he is represented. Lately I have been thinking that he is quite a young roysterer yet. Yea, Saturnus hath a nimble gait for an old boy of six thousand years and better! Noah, when he went into his floating zoological Bethel, imagined him on his last legs, no doubt. Last legs, indeed! why, he is now as lusty as ever. The lean and slippered pantaloon' doth not appear on him. He weareth tights; and the round plumpness of his nether limbs betokeneth stalwart youngness. And so this damsel is sixteen ! How sixteen years have sped! Yes, thou art grown up, sweet Martha, almost to womanhood. Who would have thought it, when, sixteen years ago this blessed night, I stumbled over the snug little basket which was thy earliest cradle! Yes, to-night, sixteen years agone, thou wert sleeping on the front door-stone of Ingleside, heedless of the snow-wreath which helped to blanket thee. Poor Mrs. Otis! how she fidgetted about, and cried, and hinted of the poor-house, and told me folks would say I was thy father, and declared she would have nothing to do with thee; and ended with kissing thy little cheeks, and took thee into her own room for her bed-fellow, and called thee'sweet little baby' in the morning! Just such a twitching of the mouth as affected thee did I experience when at breakfast she wished that folks would n't have babies in such a queer way, right in the dead of winter. If it was in the summer it would n't be half so bad; but this leaving the little innocent creatures out in the snow, all alone by themselves, was real cruel—that it was! And such a pretty one, too! It was real shameful! And yet, who knows,' she added, who knows but what its parents would n't have left it any where else such a night, but depended on our kindness, and felt sure that the little thing would n't be out there long?' and then how the tears jumped into her eyes; and she put her spotless handkerchief to her handsome face (she was only twenty-six then, and four years a widow,) and declared she would adopt it, if I would let her. Ah! but it was too bad, though! How she started, and turned all sorts of colors, with almost every emotion struggling together in her countenance, when I quietly said: May be, it's part black; who knows?' 'Oh!' she gasped out, and darted up and ran to her room to see; and then came back crying with delight, satisfied that thou wert of Caucasian blood, and hadst in thy veins no Ethiopian tincture. Thou wouldst have loved her even more than thou dost now, couldst thou have seen her happiness as she sat down again and called me a Real Ugly' for frightening her so. Jack Ingle was rather good-looking or so, at twenty-four; so of course she referred simply to my disposition. Nay, I ought not to have trifled with her feelings, the tender soul! She has been a kind mother to thee ever since; kinder than thy own. Perchance-and it is but perchance-perchance thy own mother, and thy father too, may yet reclaim thee, sweet, gentle girl! What if that letter, which came this day twelvemonth, should be followed by another? Thou art ignorant of my hopes. Indeed, it were cruel to let thee also hope, and be disappointed. How I have longed to read it to Mrs. Otis- the kind soul!—and dare not, lest she dream of it and tell thee in her sleep! Even awake, too, she might tell thee; for with a woman's heart she must have also a woman's tongue! And if she told thee not, would reveal it in her smile, her eye, her footstep even. Ah, woman! well art thou termed 'the weaker vessel !' But of no vulgar clay art thou fashioned. Thou art a vase of thinnest porcelain rather; through whose delicate fabric the light stealeth tremulously, discovering, in soft shadow, whatever is within! 'It will be recollected' that the 'Squire is a bachelor. If he were a married man - Heaven save the mark- he would not discourse on this wise, by a league or twain. It will be recollected,' most courteous, gentle and ludificated reader, that the Parson, the other evening, was just at this reminiscent phrase, when the door-bell rang for the Doctor. The day after, every eye in Tattleton had read the 'Gazette's' report of The Tattleton Dinner.' Every body was pleased, and every body had talked of it. It was settled that Tattleton had distinguished itself far beyond its most sanguine hopes. The Doctor had heard it the subject of conversation in his visits. His spasmodic patient even shared in the general enthusiasm, and was reading the paper early in the morning when he called. The Parson had witnessed the general excitement in his parochial rounds; and instead of talking on more serious matters, had been obliged to talk of the dinner. The Lieutenant had been besieged in the arsenal and at the 'Stone-House' by whole regiments of the 'Blues,' who thronged upon His Bachelorship during the forenoon to get his opinion of the editor's style; which, as far as they might be allowed to judge, was equal to that of Boswell!' They had all along set Mr. Penfillan down as a young man of promising abilities; but this effort was perfectly superb; it was so graphic and Kit Northish and life-like. In fine, it was a Daguerreotype, and Mr. Penfillan a literary Vandyke. This last comparison was probably being suggested by the desire they all felt to have him about their sweet necks, the sentimental dears! The Lieutenant thought it would n't have ruffled them at all. The epidemic had spread even to the barracks; and the Lieutenant had surprised the chief-gunner sitting astride his piece full half a minute after the sun was set, reading The Gazette,' when he should have been blazing away for ' sundown.' When we were ensconced about the fire in our accustomed seats and postures, the Doctor, after apologizing for his hasty retreat of the evening before, suggested the farther reading of the article in question, since we had all held our appetites in abeyance. Disappointed reader, your curiosity shall now be satisfied, as ours was. Imagine the 'Squire, after a glass of Lachrymæ Christi and a whiff or two of his cigar, slowly rising from the recesses of his easy-chair and handing the Parson, as he sat down, a paper from the top of the side-board. The Parson leisurely opens it, and folding it inside out, poises his cigar between the first two fingers of his dexter hand; and then running his eye down the third column of the second page, commences reading. 'It will be recollected,' by all present, that the Parson began, in a full and steady voice, 'It will be recollected.' Certainly, it was recollected, for the Parson drew on his memory for the phrase, and then came to a dead pause. He rarely smiles, but a smile actually crept out from the corners of his eyes, and so spread over his whole countenance. We were not a little surprised; it was so unusual. What's the matter!' exclaimed the Lieutenant, the Doctor and the 'Squire, all in one breath. What's the matter?' 'I can't find the place;' said the Parson. you've given me the wrong paper, Jack.' And so, in fact, the 'Squire had and could n't find the right one the whole evening: although he searched the library,' from the side board to the book-case, and from the book-case to the chaircushion, every nook and cranny of it: and called in Martha into the bargain, who was afraid she had 'kindled the fire with it, Sir.' The place is n't here; Thus most patient and long-forbearing reader,' your curiosity is now satisfied as ours was;' as the 'Squire told you it would be. About the middle of next week, we set the Parson reading the right paper, the 'Squire having sent down to the office for a second copy. So be patient, as we were, and you shall have it all. JOB was patient, the good old man; and his afflictions were much more grievous and sore than yours are. He boiled all over at the wicked desire of the Evil One. If you find your bad humors breaking out, just It arrange the pillows of your sofa, and bring matters to a head. will relieve you wonderfully! Never worry over little vexations. Let by-gones be by-gones. The 'Squire can tell you a soothing story, thereanent. He had it from the Parson. Some years ago, when the Rt. Rev. Dr. was minister over a country parish, he went to the Springs for a couple of weeks; during which time one of his deacons, a thriving, middle-aged farmer in the neighborhood, had sickened, died, and was buried. The Doctor got home on Saturday night, and preached a hastily-revised funeral sermon the next day. The loss to the church was a severe one, and the whole audience shared the grief of the widow, who, in her weeds, was present during divine service. The next day the Doc tor went to see her; and as the little girl opened the front door, what was his astonishment as he saw, or thought he saw, through the half-open passage-way, the mourning and disconsolate widow mopping the kitchen floor! Pretty soon she appeared in her working-dress in the parlor, and sadly shook the Doctor's hand. For a half hour he discoursed to her of resignation and the consolations of religion; she all the while hiding her tears behind her ample apron. When he had finished, with moistened eyes, and sympathetic heart, he awaited the struggle of her grief, and she at last broke the silence, by saying in an impressible tone: 'Doctor, I never cry for spilt milk!' He was not remarkably dilatory in bidding her good morning; and finding the morceau too good to keep,' was within a week near losing his whole congregation. STANZAS: BUENA - VISTA. BY A NEW CONTRIBUTOR. IN sadness comes the blushing day Long ere yon golden sun is low, For banners wave and arms flash bright, Dreadful and loud their voices rang, Then, thund'ring through the rocky vale, On! on! ye band of gallant braves! Alas! that night, stretched on the plain, HAIL! mighty sovereign of a voiceless land! SERMON OF THE BY QUAKERESS. A NEW CONTRIBUTOR. GULIELMUS. ONCE on a time, but when, or where, it matters not, a female, belonging to the Friends' society, arose in meeting, and uttered the following impressive sentence: 'I wonder what good it does men to kill their enemies; if they would let them alone, they would die themselves.' When I first heard of the above discourse, so full of pith and naïveté, That is one sermon,' said I, 'that I shall certainly never forget; for if I be not mistaken, there are other things beside men, which if let alone would die of themselves. How often have I seen men and women thrown into a paroxysm of feeling, and involved in the most extravagant proceedings, in order to put down some idle tale, or resent some trifling affront, which if left to themselves would have passed away like a puff of wind, and never more been thought of! The sermon of the Quakeress has a thousand times been profitable to myself, and a thousand times have I preached it to others, sometimes with and sometimes without effect; but I have never known an instance in which it was neglected, and the individual did not smart for the consequence. I shall extract from my diary a few instances, out of many recorded there, in order to show the advantage of observing, and the danger of violating, the doctrine enunciated in our text. 'A gentleman of my acquaintance had received a most gross and insufferable insult, and under circumstances which would have rendered the slightest indelicacy inexcusable; contrary to my expec |