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takes offence, and expects all the world to allow—she never gives it, often hazards a bold and ever successful experiment to secure to herself, and family, the enjoyment of the soirée. Two or three hours ere the commencement of the said party, her knowledge of which, in default of an anticipated invitation, she prudently conceals from us, a three-cornered billet, or verbal message, is sent into my mother, from our neighbourly neighbour, to this effect:

"Mrs. Chatterly's kind regards, and if convenient to her friend, ****, she will drop in for an hour or two in the evening to chat, or play piquet; and will also take the liberty of bringing with her, some (!!) of her young people." Now, what answer can be given to a lady who will come,-but one in the mood civil and persuasive?" Compliments to Mrs. Chatterly—a few friends this evening-but very happy if she, and any of her family who please, will join them."

At nine o'clock accordingly enter Mrs. Chatterly, dressed as for a small social tea and talk party, of four or six, accompanied by three daughters, and two sons, evidently expecting quadrilles and supper, and followed by one of our servants, carrying mamma's work-box, and the young ladies' music books; the whole family thereby intending to shew for once, their perfect ignorance of our re-unions, number, and nature, and tacitly to reproach us, for our pagan barbarity, in omitting to invite "neighbours," who possess so many means of playing the agreeable.

And barbarous I admit, does our conduct, on such occasions appear, until explained; and in explanation, I think we can assign three sufficient reasons:

1. The Chatterly girls are handsome,-decided, striking beauties; and the mothers of plainer daughters do not like always to meet young women, who monopolize the attention of all gentlemen, in whatsoever room they are met. Therefore we do not always invite them.

2. The female Chatterlys are talkative, and high-spirited; but their voices, not modulated by the tone of ton, are heard above all the voices of the company they favor with their presence; and led away, by unrestrained spirits, perfectly rustic,Irish,—outré,—they often do, and say such things, that they make gentlemen stare, and give ladies the horrors! Therefore we do not always invite them.

3. If truth must be told, our "next door neighbours," have not dresses sufficiently numerous, rich, or gay, to appear, as, in these days, most ladies do appear. This is a misfortune, and we

like them not the less for it: but the world (of which we of course do not make a part), regard it as a fault; indeed, it is time they should know, if they have not made this important discovery already, that, as society goes, the wicked well-dressed, are better received, than the amiable dowdy, and shabby genteel. Therefore we do not always invite them.

And since I am in the truth-telling vein, I cannot hesitate to declare (why should I, for Mrs. Chatterly makes it town-talk?) that our good friends next door on the right, have great difficulty in making "both ends meet." I have some thoughts of referring them to Joey Hume on the subject, but cannot meanwhile help wishing, that the balconies which run connectedly before our respective houses, were divided by a space, or a high abutting partition. As it is, their unimpeded proximity, affords our neighbours, the complete run of our domicile, in which, I conscientiously believe, they reside more hours in the day, and more days in the year, than they do in their own! Tap, tap, tap, do we incessantly hear at the windows of our front drawing-room (instead of the exposing London chassis, would that they were "the loop-holes of retreat";) now a sash is thrown up; now a blind pushed aside; and anon, a head is at one time thrust in, a leg, or half a body; whilst at another, Miss Janet, or Master James, "pop through the casement, swift as light," and stand in propria persona before us. The object of these domiciliary visits, is usually an appeal to our benevolence: never existed a family, who so completely lived by begging, and borrowing; and they really seem to consider us, as specially appointed by Providence, to supply them with every article in which they may happen to be deficient. Our carriage, our horses, and consequently our coachman, they use, as if these appendages to genteel life, were their own; and if we denied them this loan, whenever it was in our power to grant it, they would report us through a large and gossipping neighbourhood, mean, and ill-natured.

More than once Mrs. Chatterly has returned our carriage broken, our horses lamed, and our coachman intoxicated and insolent; but these accidents are, to the good lady, so trivial, that after patching them up, she thinks, by a civil apology,--next time she requires our equipage, the loan of it is requested again. My mother intends, I rather think, to part with our present knight of the hammer cloth, and engage a new one, of the same genus, with the Waldon's coachman, who is rather an imperious, and particular gentleman “what won't drive nobody," he says "out of the family."

Mrs. Chatterly even goes so far as to borrow my mother, to chaperon her daughters to public exhibitions and private parties; but my mother in return, uses her sons (troublesome lads enough, in their beggings, for guns, horses, dogs, cabs, and fishingtackle), to hunt up young men for balls, to dance with us, if partners be scarce, and to come to our house, or keep away, like tame animals, as they are wanted or otherwise; in all this the good-humoured boys, perfectly acquiesce, and we like them better on the whole, than the girls; besides, they have some conscience, which the latter have not.

The Chatterlys are great time-stealers; talk to them about music, drawing, reading, working, languages, &c.; and the moral necessity of daily steady occupation, they will assure you, that they don't know how it is, but they cannot find leisure now, to keep up, and progress in those studies, the elements only of which, they learnt in the school-room."

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One day, that Georgiana used these very words to my mother, she answered:

"If you don't know how this happens, my dear, permit me to tell you: instead of properly laying out your time,-God's most invaluable gift to the human race,-you squander it away;others learn, or teach; almost all persons, if they cannot accomplish great things, do something; but you, day after day, and night after night, waste your precious hours in gossipping from house to house, running from shop to shop, and from party to party; and often by so doing, cause the loss of time to other individuals, and put them to great hindrance and inconvenience."

At this reproof, Georgiana looked silly and ashamed; wonderful to relate, we saw nothing of our "next door neighbours," for two days; they were at their studies!! but the reformation was too distasteful to last out the third, and matters have since returned to their old course.

Perhaps we feel the annoyance of convenient proximity to our "best-friend-in-the-world," most, at those awful periods when Mrs. Chatterly gives a party: her soirées were "few, and far between," when she first re-settled in town; but three years has both renewed her acquaintance, and made considerable additions to it; and it being particularly agreeable to entertain, at our expense, the lively widow is often "at home," and our furniture, lamps, candelabra, plate, glass, china, &c.; and domestics as frequently out.

Then, that is, upon her gala-days, "from morn till dewy eve," do the young Chatterlys keep up an incessant tapping at our windows (a drum-serjeant must have instructed them in his art),

then, do the hall doors of both houses stand open all day; and then do the servants of both families run to and fro; hers to beg and to borrow, and ours to move into the next house, the requested loans: on such days we can get no dinner, because the widow has borrowed our cook, to help her own in preparing refreshments and supper; and, on such days, when we particularly want the assistance of our French maid, the damsel is sure to have been wiled, by the civilest of messages, into the next house, "to do the young ladies' hair,-else, they'll never be ready to receive their visitors."

All this is very troublesome and impertinent, but we have borne it with patience and good-humour, endeavouring to aid our distressed neighbours on the right, in a truly philanthropic spirit: still patience may be too severely tested, and people may go too far; and Mrs. Chatterly, the other day, expecting no doubt to find us, in every thing, her obedient humble servants, had absolutely the effrontery to propose, "that we should open a free communication between our houses, for mutual benefit." "Dear madam," said my mother, "the communication between your residence and mine, seems to me, free enough in all reason already."

"Ay,-yes-by the balconies; but I was thinking, if you could open a door in that wall, which divides your drawing-room from mine, it would so save to us both, time, steps, and trouble."

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Very likely," answered my mother chillingly.

And when you are about it, you know," resumed the undaunted widow, "you can as well put up a pair of folding-doors, as a single entrance, so as, upon occasion, to throw both rooms into one."

"And upon what occasion Mrs. Chatterly," returned my mother with some severity of look and manner, "will it ever be necessary to unite the houses?"

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Upon the occasion of any party given, my dear friend, by you or by me. My son, Edward, tells me, that it is common, when wine parties are given at college, for the gentleman to use his "next door neighbour's" rooms, upon the same floor, of the same stair-case, as well as his own; inviting, of course, their occupant to his table."

"Wait but a few months Mrs. Chatterly," said my mother coldly," and, as you seem so much to desire it, you can have this whole house at your disposal."

"How?-why?" asked the lady in a tone of alarm.

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Because, my good friend, I've a serious thought of quitting it. "Have you? Why; and where do you mean to go?"

"That," replied my mother, "is quite uncertain; but my husband is at this moment employed in looking out for a detached house, in some place, where we shall bave no next door neighbours."

I wonder she could come out with this piece of news so gravely; for my own part, after the exit of the discomfited Mrs. Chatterly, I sat and laughed for a quarter of an hour.

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