TALE
Victa eft non agré proditione fud. Ovid.
IRCO, an old, but am'rous Blade,
Had fometime kept a pretty Maid,
Whom to Debauch he oft had try'd,
But had as often been deny'd:
Fair Promises at firft were us'd,
But thefe with Scorn the Girl refus'd;
Nor could his Coin prevail upon her,
To fel her Love, or wound her Honour;
Old Hirco thought he ne'er fhould do't,
And fo gave o'er the vain Purfuit,
HIRCO had all his Life been one,
They call a boon Companion.
And in his House had always Liquor
To entertain the Squire or Vicar,
From bottled Ale to good French Claret,
And Stout fo ftale, no Head could bear it;
Man's greatest Sin he often faid,
Was fneaking foberly to Bed;
Believ'd that parting dry Lips was,
Of Sodom's Fire the fatal Cause;
Hell's Torments he did really think,
Not fcorching Flames, but want of Drink;
He made it plain from facred Writ,
That Wine was for the Stomach fit;
And therefore he, for Confcience fake,
A hearty Dofe would often take.
But when inflam'd with gen'rous Liquor,
His Pulfe beat high, and Blood mov'd quicker;
Then Fancy brought into his Arms,
His Wench dress'd up in all her Charms;
Her ruddy Cheeks, her well-turn'd Nofe,
Her little Mouth, her Eyes like Sloes;
Her lefs'ning Shape, her fwelling Bubbies,
Her Lilly Hand, and Lips of Rubies;
A thousand Beauties yet unseen,
That might have tempted Saints to Sin;
Made Hirco wish he durft renew,
Th' Attack he once had made on Sue;
What pity 'tis, he often said,
So fweet a Wench should die a Maid;
That Sukey should (and who could tell,
But that she might) lead Apes in Hell:
But Sue moft bravely had withstood
His first Attacks, and call'd him lewd
And filthy Beast, and often swore,
She wonld not stay a Moment more;
For all his Gold beneath his Roof,
If e'er he talk'd his foolish Stuff.
Aw'd by her Threats old Hirco strove,
To banish his ill-fated Love.
It happen'd on a certain Night,
That Hirco did fome Friends invite;
About the Time when o'er the Nation,
Roast Beef and Mince Pies were in Fashion.
The fpark'ling Glafs went briskly round,
Each Toper bravely ftood his Ground;
And fwore he wifh'd that Heaven's Thunder,.
Would strike him dead, if he knock'd under:
The godly P--rf--n, who was there,
Said Amen to the hearty Prayer
T'expel the rawness of the Beer,.
And keep from Flegms their Stomachs clear;
Each made a Chimney of his Nofe,
And clouds of Smoke around them rose,
The Smoke the upper Regions gain'd,
And round the Brain the Cloud remain'd.
But now 'twas late, the watchful Cock,
Had long fince crow'd it Twelve a Clock.
And each Man thought, tho' none had Grace
To own it, Bed the proper'ft Place.
Here one extended on the Floor,
In Liquor fwam, yet call'd for more;
A fecond fwallow'd whilft he cou'd,
But at the laft, went out and fpu'd;
Another roar'd and hoop'd aloud,
A fourth reel'd round the Room, and vow'd
In fpite of Hirco's old October,
G--d da da d--mn him he was fober,
Most of the reft to Sleep began,
Amongst 'em there was scarce a Mẫn th
Had Strength, but Hirco and the P--r--n,
Their Stools upright to set their Arse on.
With Grief the Mafter of the Feast,
Beheld the State of ev'ry Guest;
He wish'd he could with all his Heart,
New Vigour to 'em all impart ;
My Friends, faid he, come let's chear up,
And briskly take the other Cup;
A Plague, what makes you all fo dull?
I han't got half my Belly full;
Roufe up for Shame, my jolly Boys,
Be merry, fing, and make a noise;
I've in my Cellar now a Tub,
Believe me, Friends, of charming Bub;
To keep it longer would be Folly,
I'll pierce it now and we'll be Jolly;
He said, and rising on his Legs,
Takes up a Piercer, cuts fome Pegs.
Seizes a Tankard, thus equipt,
Down Stairs into the Cellar flipt.
But Hirco's Maid, 'twixt Hope and Fear,
Her Master's laft Difcourfe did hear.
For tho' fhe kept her Body chafte,
And Love unlawful would not taste,
Yet the poor Girl was often dry,
And lov'd good Liquor by the by;
And when old Hirco was without,
She'd to the Tub, pull Vent-Pin out;
And with a Straw the drunken Gypfy,
Would sometimes fuck, 'till fhe was Tipfys
And, as fhe never chofe the worst,
This Tub had often quench'd her Thirft.
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