bought guineas? The Jew replied in the affirmative; in consequence of which the officer inquired what he would give, and was answered, one pound twelve. A guinea was immediately tendered, the Jew requesting to see if it was good, and, when satisfied, gave the officer, to his great confusion, a one-pound note and twelve penny pieces! A PUN, On reading in a Paper of May 12th, 1812, the Marriage of Edward Reynolds, Esq., to Miss Sarah Husband. The strangest metamorphosis in life! Of this his female husband in his arms, That she may never re-assume the breeches! MURDERING THE KING'S ENGLISH. "General Crawfurd came in compact with the rear of the enemy's army." "I am sorry for poor dear Mrs. Diddle's disorder; but I really believe if she follows the regiment inscribed by Dr. Diacholon, it will prove a certain preventative." but "Pardon me, Mr. Ramsbottom, your observation on this subject appears, I think, totally irrevelant." "I have no objection to a haunch of mutton dressed venison fashion, provided there is some red currant jelly attacked to it." "I admire your house and garden near Gray's Inn-lane-quite a Russian harbour, as Parson Pigface calls it."* "I understand that the supreme Junto are fully surprised of the situation of affairs in the north of Spain." "I say, neighbour Snail, have you heard that George Scamper and Leonard Lightfoot, famous predestinarians, have engaged to walk, for a considerable wager, five-and-twenty miles in five hours successfully?" Kitty Crab, a vestal in her first grand climacterick, chatting with Mrs. Parasol, says, "Mercy! Ma'am, I had no reference to draw from your daughter's conversation and conduct, that could the least result you. But I must remark, that her detachment to the male creatures-yes-I will lay my mode cloak to a brass pin, it will, if not constricted, bring her on egressively to rumination." A WHIMSICAL accident is reported to have taken place at the Prince Regent's Levee, on Friday, the 22d inst. The great State Lords with white staves, the Marquis of Hertford and Earl of Cholmondeley, being tired standing on their legs in the levee-room, sat down together on an or-molu table. The weight was too great for the flimsy French fabric. It broke down, and brought the Lord Chamberlain, and Lord Steward of the Household, with a crash to the ground. At that instant, Lord Sidmouth ran up to assist the mighty Peers, when at the instant an inkstand broke, and dashed all its contents over the Lord President's hands. He held them out as a piteous sight; but immediately said, with good humour, "Well! this is unlucky-I thought at least I should have gone out of office with clean hands." *This is a Latin, rather than an English murder-being a corruption of "Rus in urbe"" Country in town.” SPORT SPORTING INTELLIGENCE. THE H. H. C. races over Soberton Down, Hants, took place on Tuesday, the 12th inst. and was as usual well attended; there was not less than two thousand people on the Down; all the gentry of the neighbourhood, and from Portsmouth, Gosport, Fareham, Titchfield, Wickham, and Havant.There was a fine race for the Club Cup, which was won by Mr. Pow. lett Powlett's bay horse Blackguard (late Gentleman); it is the third year this horse has started for the H. H. C. Cup; the two last years he was only beat by half a neck; he is now seven years old, and supposed to be the best hunter in Hampshire. The Farmers' Cup, given by Mr. Powlett, was won by Mr. Horn's bay horse, Hambledon, by Hermit, six years old, bred by Mr. Horn, beating six capital horses; from their appearance they would have run well for the Club Cup. MADDINGTON Races were held on Wednesday, the 20th inst. and two succeeding days, on Stockbridge Course, Hants. Sir J. C. Hawkins's Ringdove beat Sir H. Lippincott's Hephestion, 10st. 7lb. each, 50gs. The Knole Stakes of 50gs. each, h. ft. Red Post in, was won by Mr. Elton's br. f. Totteridge, 3 yrs old, beating Mr. Worrall's May-day, and Sir J. C. Hawkins's Dorinda. The Maddington Stakes of 25gs. each, with 30gs. added by the Club, four miles, was won by Mr. Dundas's Romeo, beating Mr. Pigot's Morgiana, Mr. Worrall's Hephestion, and Mr. Douglas's Turtle. The Sweepstakes of 10gs. each, with 50gs. added by the Club, two miles, was won by Mr. Cope's Shoestrings, beating Mr. Biggs's Demetrius. Mr. Peach's Romana beat Sir J. C. Hawkins's Ringdove, two miles, for 100gs. On Thursday, Mr. Cope's Turtle beat Mr. Worrall's May-day, last mile, 25gs. The Sweepstakes of 5gs. each, with 60gs. added by the Club, three miles, was won by Mr. Biggs's Demetrius, beating Sir H. Lippincott's Waltzer, and Mr. Pigot's Montidamun. The Plate of 50l. for horses of all ages, heats, about two miles and a quarter, was won by Mr. Dundas's Romeo, aged 1 1 Sir H. Lippincott's Cross arrival, attacked with a periodical disorder, producing swellings and visceral complaints, but which the Veterinary Surgeons have now found the means of rendering very slight, and of short duration. THE first meeting of the Barouche Driving Club for the season, took place on the 20th instant, when they dined at the Black Dog, Bedfont. SPORTING ORTUARY.-On the 16th instant died suddenly, in London, Sir Frank Standish, Bart. he ordered his servant, as he was rising, to prepare his breakfast, and on the latter returning in al-out ten minutes he found his master dead, who, it is supposed, expired in an apoplectic fit. Sir Frank possessed a fine family estate in Lancashire, and has left also a considerable personal property, but died without a will.-Sir Frank was owner of the celebrated racer Delpini, of the Yellow Mare, a winner of the Oaks, &c. also owner and breeder of Mr. Teazle, Stamford, Archduke, Paris, SpreadEagle, Didelot, Split-pigeon, Eagle, and several other valuable racers. injudiciously struck at with the butt end of his gun, when it in stantly exploded, and lodged the whole contents in his body. He languished in great agony about an hour, and then expired. He was an industrious worthy young man, twenty-four years of age. LATELY died, at Cockermouth, Cumberland, aged twenty-six, the stallion well known by the Brother to Driver, by Trentham; dam Coquette, by Mr. Compton's Barb, out of the only Sister to Regulus.— And Driver died, September 17, 1811, aged twenty-eight, and was buried in the paddock where he suddenly dropped, in Lecconfield Park, near Beverley, Yorkshire.— They were both bred by the Earl of Egremont. ARCHERY.-At a meeting of the Archers of Richmond, on Thursday, the 9th of April, (being a grand field-day) the honours were won, after a severe contest, by the following gentlemen, viz.:-Mr. Dobson, Captain of the Gorget; Mr. G. Croft, Lieutenant of ditto; and Mr. Ibbetson, Captain of Numbers. A MATCH against time took place on Monday, the 4th instant, upon Portobello Sands, near Edinburgh, between two Officers of the 6th Dragoon Guards, one of whose horses was to trot, walk, and gallop nine miles in an hour, which he accomplished in the following manner, gaining the bet by half a minute :- Trotted 3 miles in 12 minutes. 59 morning, the 10th instant, a jourHeyman plaisterer, named Clark, upwards of 40 years of age, undertook for a wager of 21. to go on foot from Whitechapel Church to Woodford Wells, and back again, in two hours and a quarter, the whole distance of ground being eighteen miles. He started at five o'clock, on a moderate pace of about seven miles an hour; he stopped to bait at Snaresbrook about five minutes, pursued his journey mending his pace, and reached Woodford Wells one minute within the hour; after stopping to refresh a short time, then started on his return, and arrived at the starting place, completing his wager in six minutes less than the time allowed. Bets at first starting were three to two against him, and a good deal of money was won and lost upon the issue; he was so much fatigued as to be immediately got to bed. A FARMER in Devonshire, of the name of Martendale, has been for some time labouring at the Barclay clay match, of a mile every hour for six weeks. The undertaking is for a bet of five hundred guineas. The pedestrian, who is a fine athletic man, of twenty-five, is backed by his landlord. He is said to be going on well; but the odds are two to one against his accomplish ing the task. On Monday, the 27th ult. Mr. Barnham, a gentleman of fortune, undertook for a bet of one hundred guineas, to travel on foot from Oxford-street to Tatling-end, near Beaconsfield, and return (thirtysix miles) in five hours. Betting was much in favour of time at starting. The pedestrian did eight miles in each of the first hours, and he had eleven minutes to spare when he had accomplished half the undertaking. On his return to Southall, he halted at Mr. Holt's much distressed, but he continued his labour, and resigned when within three miles of his journey's end, unable to proceed. ON Friday, the 1st instant, a Mr. Kneele, from Buckinghamshire, engaged on Finchley Common, to kill eighteen pigeons from twenty-one, for a wager of fifty guineas. What is singular, the adventurer missed his first two birds, and killed eighteen following; but in shooting at the last bird, to decide the wagers, it was winged and died out of bounds, (one hundred yards from the trap.) SPARRING. It having been notified that a Sparring Exhibition, instituted by Mr. John Jackson, was to take place on Thursday, the 7th instant, at the Fives-court, for the benefit of the British prisoners in France, the Court was immensely crowded at an early hour by the most respectable assemblage ever before witnessed within its walls. Amongst the company were upwards of twenty Noblemen, and many Members of the House of Commons, and the receipts exceeded, those of last year for the benefit of the Portuguese sufferers. The professors of the fist gratuitously gave their services, but several who are in the habit of repeatedly soliciting public favours by this benefit system, and who seldom attend but on that solitary instance, amongst whom are Bitton, Dutch Sam, Mendoza, &c. did not condescend to make their appearance for this national object. Their absence was made up by the attendance of Belcher, Richmond, Power, and Cropley, who each setto with different persons.-The fund of amusement was chiefly betwixt the Life Guardsman, known better by the appellation of the Nottinghamshire man, with Belcher, and then with Power. It was a match, in which each of these pugilists had a fine opportunity of displaying science against weight, length, and strength, and it would be difficult to state which gave best specimens. Richmond set to with a stout novice, and gave satisfaction. The receipts amounted to 130l. which was invested with Mr. Jackson to forward to the subscription fund. Police Officers were stationed at the door to prevent depredations. A DREADFUL boxing match took place on Monday, the 27th ult. at Basing, near Hartley-row, Hants, between James Colbourne, a bargeman, and Harry Willoughby, a coachman, for ten guineas a side. The battle is said to have exceeded all others in ferocity and hardihood. They were 14-stone men, gifted M 2 with |