DAMAGES, TWO HUNDRED POUNDS. SPECIAL Jurymen of England! who admire your country's laws, And proclaim a British Jury worthy of the realm's applause; Gaily compliment each other at the issue of a cause Which was tried at Guildford 'sizes, this day week as ever was. Unto that august tribunal comes a gentleman in grief, (Special was the British Jury, and the Judge, the Baron Chief,) Comes a British man and husband-asking of the law relief, For his wife was stolen from him-he'd have vengeance on the thief. Yes, his wife, the blessed treasure with the which his life was crowned, Wickedly was ravished from him by a hypocrite profound. And he comes before twelve Britons, men for sense and truth renowned, To award him for his damage, twenty hundred sterling pound. He by counsel and attorney there at Guildford does appear, First the lady's mother spoke, and said she'd seen her daughter cry But a fortnight after marriage: early times for piping eye. Six months after, things were worse, and the piping eye was black, And this gallant British husband caned his wife upon the back. Three months after they were married, husband pushed her to the door, Told her to be off and leave him, for he wanted her no more; As she would not go, why he went: thrice he left his lady dear, Left her, too, without a penny, for more than a quarter of a year. Mrs. Frances Duncan knew the parties very well indeed, Sarah Green, another witness, clear did to the Jury note Next door to this injured Briton Mr. Owers, a butcher, dwelt; Caroline Naylor was their servant, said they led a wretched life, space, Sate with his wife, or spoke her kindly. This was the defendant's case. Pollock, C. B., charged the Jury; said the woman's guilt was clear: That was not the point, however, which the Jury came to hear But the damage to determine which, as it should true appear, This most tender-hearted husband, who so used his lady dear, Beat her, kicked her, caned her, cursed her, left her starving, year by year, Flung her from him, parted from her, wrung her neck, and boxed her ear— What the reasonable damage this afflicted man could claim, By the loss of the affections of this guilty graceless dame ? Then the honest British Twelve, to each other turning round, Laid their clever heads together with a wisdom most profound: And towards his Lordship looking, spoke the foreman wise and sound; "My Lord, we find for this here plaintiff damages two hundred pound." So, God bless the Special Jury! pride and joy of English ground, Though you promised to protect her, though you promised to defend her, You are welcome to neglect her: to the devil you may send her: You may strike her, curse, abuse her; so declares our law renowned; And if after this you lose her,—why you're paid two hundred pound. THE KNIGHT AND THE LADY. THERE'S in the Vest a city pleasant, Although that galliant knight is oldish, 'Twas two years sins, this knight so splendid, Peraps fateagued with Bath's routines, To paris towne his phootsteps bended His and was free, his means was easy, A brougham and pair Sir John prowided, But ar! he most of all enjyed it, When some one helse was sittin' inside! That" some one helse a lovely dame was, Dear ladies, you will heasy tell— Countess Grabrowski her sweet name was, This faymus Countess ad a daughter Their pashn touched the noble Sir John, With Hyming's wreeth their loves to crownd. "O, come to Bath, to Lansdowne Crescent," agree. "O, come to Bath, my fair Grabrowski, "And when they've passed an appy winter, To Bath they went to Lansdowne Crescent, No end of teas, and balls incessant, He was so Ospitably busy, When Miss was late, he'd make so bold Upstairs to call out, "Missy, Missy, Come down, the coffy's getting cold!" |