return them, you were cruel only to me; but when you requested me to deftroy them, you were unkind to the World, which may, perhaps, one Day fee them. I defpair of any, the fmalleft Portion of Fame, from my own Writings; but to be loved and praised in your's, may render my Name immortal. So Phaon will be ever remembered: But the fame Fate cannot attend us both; for he, from his Inconftancy, as Pope ftrongly expreffes it, is but "damned to ever"lafting Fame."

I fhall not dwell any longer on the Subject of your Letter, because, indeed, I find myself too much affected with it; and I cannot, in my prefent Temper of Mind, think of Pliny, or any thing elfe. So I fhall make my Letter fhorter, than I am ever inclined to do to you.

I fhall conclude with a Saying of some of the Philofophers," that the Grief at lofing a Thing, and the Fear of lofing it, are equal."

Farewell, my Heart's dear Fanny!

LETTER CCXXV.

FRANCES to HENRY.

I WOULD have anfwered your's of the 7th

laft Poft; but my not being well, joined to the present unfettled Situation of my Mind, had fo much lowered my Spirits, that I feared my Letter would appear to you of the splenetic Cast.

I now return my Thanks for the very elegant Compliments you make me. To deserve them, would be too high a Boast for the most perfect of my Sex; yet I confefs, though confcious of my Want of Merit, I feel a fecret Pleasure, mixed with Pride, (not Vanity,) when praised by you. Though I am, perhaps, naturally vain, I find myself humbled, by the very Means which might be supposed to raise it. I look on the Compliments, you make me, as I fhould on a Picture, which, though I had fat for, the Painter, from the Elegance of his Fancy, not Judgment, had made a finished Beauty. I am, however, proud of that Affection, which can, to the very few Merits I poffefs, add the Multitude I want, and place me in fuch a Light, as it should be my utmost Wish to appear in.

I have much to tell you about our Lady I am, at prefent, a good deal furprized at not hearing from her. She has wrote for her Chil

dren

dren to leave Town on Wednesday.-Is it not ftrange fhe did not mention me? Though I cannot account for it, I am resolved to give her Credit for acting right: She must have strong Reasons for altering her Purpose. I neither can, nor will fufpect any Change in her Friendship: She gave it me voluntarily, unmerited, and unfought; and, fhould fhe withdraw it, I have not any Right to complain;-but I will not torment myself with anticipating what I should, indeed, think a fevere Misfortune. To-morrow's Poft may, perhaps, clear all.

I wrote to defire your Opinion about my going with Nancy. I have changed my Mind, in that Particular, and think of it no longer. If I were certain of going to France, I could not bear the Agony of a laft Parting; which, I am fure, that would be: The Pain is already past; why should I renew it? We are feparated; let us remain fo.-If I ftay in the Kingdom, it would be an idle Frolic, and might be attended with difagreeable Confequences.-I will not go there, on any Terms.

Your laft Letter has almoft diftracted me. How can you write with fuch tender Concern, yet leave me in. Sufpence? When I apply to you, my Guide, my Director, for Advice, why refer me to another? Is there a Creature breathing, on whofe Love, or Friendship, I ought to depend, more than your's? I hoped there was G 6.

not:

not: If I have been deceived, it is equal what becomes of me. I will not indulge a Thought fo injurious to your Honour, and my Peace. How can you fay it is agreeable to my Inclina tions to quit you? for I neither think or speak of any other Tye.-In Return for your unkind Sufpicion, I might tell you, that Thought was fuggefted by your Wishes, rather than Opinion. You know my Heart hangs on you; you are it's Support, and the fole Source of all, it's Happiness, or Mifery; and is it poffible you can fufpect my Love? Does not your own Heart bear Witness for me, and contradict fo cruel an Afperfion? Unkind, ill-natured Harry-Perhaps I wrong you. My Concern transports me beyond the Bounds of Reason. You could not mean to injure me so highly.

The Concern, you exprefs, at my leaving the Kingdom, fhall, for the prefent, prevent my taking any Steps towards it, 'till I have your Opinion in more explicit Terms; for by that only I will be determined. What can prevent your giving it freely? You certainly know what you would have me do and you are bound, by every Tye, to direct and guide my little Bark through all the Storms of Life.

"

Though I fhould be glad my Letters were deftroyed, I will not, if I go, defire to deprive you of them: Their Value is owing to your Opinion: The insisting on them would be some

what

what like stealing your Reputation; impoverish ing you, without enriching myself. It would give me the greatest Uneafinefs, if I thought they would be ever seen by a third Perfon. They were wrote from my Heart to your's, without a View of extorting Praife; and were never defigned for the unfeeling Vulgar. I have not any Apprehenfion of their being made public. You will not, for your own' Sake, expose my Weaknefs to the World; and I dare fwear there is not another Perfon in it, who would think them worth the Trouble of reading. I confess I have often wifhed for fo much Geníus, or poetic Fire, call it which you please, as might tranfmit to Pofterity an Idea of my Affection for you, and "graft my Love im"mortal on thy Fame" But that Wish, like most of mine, is vain. Apollo denied my Suit, though feconded by the antient, not modern, Cupid; but made me large Amends, by promifing that my Name fhould be immortalized by you.

16I have this Inftant recollected, that on this Day Twelvemonth I firft faw Belvidere: Will you forgive me, if I fay, I wish I had never feen it? What an infinite deal of Anxiety have we fuffered for each other, fince that Æra! and who can tell where it will end? Believe me, my Heart's dear Harry, this Reflection affords me as much Uneafinefs on your Account, as on

my