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LETTER XLV.

To Mr. BETHEL.

Aug. 9, 1733.

U might well think me negligent or forgetful of you, if true friendship and fincere esteem were to be measured by common forms and compliments. The truth is, I could not write then, without faying something of my own condition, and of my lofs of fo old and fo deserving a parent, which really would have troubled you; or I must have kept a filence upon that head, which would not have fuited that freedom and fincere opening of the heart which is due to you from me. I am now pretty well; but my home is uneafy to me ftill, and I am therefore wandering about all this fummer. I was but four days at Twickenham fince the occafion that made it fo melancholy. I have been a fortnight in Effex, and am now at Dawley (whose master is your fervant) and going to Cirencester to Lord Bathurft. I fhall alfo fee Southampton with Lord Peterborow. The Court and Twit'nam I fhall forfake together. I wish I did not leave our friend *, who deferves more quiet, and more health and happiness, that can be found in fuch a family. The reft of my acquaintanceare tolerably happy in their various ways of life, whether court, country, or town; and Mr. Cle-. land is as well in the Park, as if he were in Paradise. I heartily hope, Yorkshire is the fame to you; and that no evil, moral or phyfical, may come near you.

I have now but too much melancholy leifure, and no other care but to finish my Effay on Man:

There will be in it one line that may offend you (I fear) and yet I will not alter or omit it, unless you come to town and prevent me before I print it, which will be in a fortnight in all probability. In plain truth, I will not deny myself the greatest pleasure I am capable of receiving, because another may have the modefty not to fhare it. It is all a poor poet can do, to bear teftimony to the virtue he cannot reach: befides, that, in this age, I fee too few good Examples not to lay hold on any I can find. Adieu.

You fee what an interested man I am.

LETTER XLVI.

Το

Sept. 7, 1733

OU cannot think how melancholy this place

You makes me; every part of this wood puts in

to my mind poor Mr. Gay, with whom I past once a great deal of pleafant time in it, and another friend who is near dead, and quite loft to us, Dr. Swift. I really can find no enjoyment in the place; the fame fort of uneafinefs as I find at Twit'nam, whenever I pass near my Mother's

room.

I've not yet writ to Mrs. *. I think I fhould, but have nothing to fay that will answer the cha racter they confider me in, as a Wit; befides, my eyes grow very bad (whatever is the cause of it). I'll put them out for no body but a friend; and, Í proteft, it brings tears into them almost to write to you, when I think of your ftate and mine. I long

Mrs. B.

to

to write to Swift, but cannot. The greatest pain I know, is to fay things fo very fhort of one's meaning, when the heart is full.

I feel the going out of life faft enough, to have little appetite left to make compliments, at best ufelefs, and for the moft part unfelt, fpeeches. 'Tis but in a very narrow circle that Friendship walks in this world, and I care not to tread out of it more than I needs muft; knowing well, it is but to two or three (if quite fo many) that any man's welfare, or memory, can be of confequence: The reft, I believe, I may forget, and be pretty certain they are already even, if not before-hand with

me.

Life, after the first warm heats are over, is all down-hill and one almoft wifhes the journey's end, provided we were fure but to lie down easy, whenever the Night fhall overtake us.

I dream'd all laft night of-She has dwelt (a little more than perhaps is right) upon my fpirits: faw a very deferving gentleman in my travels, who has formerly, I have heard, had much the fame misfortune; and (with all his good breeding and fenfe) ftill bears a cloud and melancholy caft, that never can quite clear up, in all his behaviour and converfation. I know another, who, I believe, could promife, and easily keep his word, never to laugh in his life. But one must do one's beft, not to be used by the world as that poor lady was by her fifter; and not feem too good, for fear of being thought affected, or whimfical.

It is a real truth, that to the laft of my moments, the thought of you, and the beft of my wishes for you, will attend you, told or untold: I could wish you had once the conftancy and refolution to act for yourself, whether before, or after I leave you (the only way I ever fhall leave you) you muft determine; but reflect, that the first would make me,

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as well as yourself, happier; the latter could make you only fo... Adieu.

I

LETTER XLVII.

From Dr. ARBUTHNOT.

Hampstead, July 17, 1734:

Little doubt of your kind concern for me, nor of that of the Lady you mention. I have nothing to repay my friends with at prefent, but prayers and good wifhes. I have the fatisfaction to find that I am as officiously ferv'd by my friends, as he that has thousands to leave in legacies; befides the affurance of their fincerity. God almighty has made my bodily. diftrefs as eafy as a thing of that nature can be. I have found fome relief, at leaft fometimes, from the air of this place. My nights are bad, but many poor creatures have worse.

As for you, my good friend, I think fince our firft acquaintance there have not been any of those little fufpicions or jealoufies that often affect the fincereft friendfhips: I am fure, not on my fide. I must be fo fincere as to own, that though I could not help valuing you for thofe Talents which the world prizes, yet they were not the foundation of my friendships; they were quite of another fort; nor fhall I at prefent offend you by enumerating them: And I make it my Laft Request, that you will continue that Noble Difdain and Abhorrence of Vice, which you feem naturally endued with; but ftill with a due regard to your own fafety; and ftudy more to reform than chastise, tho' the one cannot be effected without the other.

VOL. VHI,

N

Lord

Lord Bathurst I have always honour'd, for every good quality that a perfon of his rank ought to have: Pray, give my refpects and kindeft wishes to the family. My venifon ftomach is gone, but I have thofe about me, and often with me, who will be very glad of his prefent. If it is left at my house, it will be tranfmitted fafe to me.

A recovery in my cafe, and at my age, is impoffible; the kindeft wish of my friends is Euthanafia. Living or dying, I fhall always be

Yours, &c!

LETTER XLVIII.

To Dr. ARButhnot.

July 26, 1734.

Thank you for your letter, which has all thofe genuine marks of a good mind by which I have ever diftinguifh'd yours, and for which I have fo long loved you. Our friendship has been conftant; because it was grounded on good principles, and therefore not only uninterrupted by any Diftruft, but by any Vanity, much lefs any Interest.

What you recommend to me with the folemnity of a Laft Requeft, fhall have its due weight with me. That difdain and indignation against Vice, is (I thank God) the only difdain and indignation I have: It is fincere, and it will be a lafting one. But fure it is as impoffible to have a juft abhorrence of Vice, without hating the Vicious, as to bear a true love for Virtue, without loving the Good. To reform and not to chaftife, I am afraid, is impoffible; and that the best Precepts, as well

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