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better account. I do fay, that Lady P* is a reafonable woman; and, I think, she will not take it amiss, if I should insist upon esteeming her, instead of Toasting her, like a filly thing I could name, who is the Venus of these days. I see you had forgot my letter, or would not let her know how much I thought of her in this reasonable way: but I have been kinder to you, and have shewn your letter to one who will take it candidly.
But, for God's fake, what have you said about Politicians ? you made me a great compliment in the trust you reposed in my prudence, or what mischief might not I have done you with some that affect that denomination? Your Lordihip might as safely have spoken of Heroes, What a blufter would the God of the winds have made, had one that we know puff d against Æolus, or (like Xerxes) whipp?d the seas? They had dialogued it in the language of the Rehearsal,
Pll give him flash for flash
I'll give him dash far dah. But all now is safe ; the Poets are preparing songs of joy, and Halcyon days are the word.
I hope, my Lord, it will not be long before your dutiful affection brings you to town. I fear it will a little raise your envy to find all the Muses employed in celebrating a Royal work *, which your own partiality will think inferior to Bevis-Mount. But if you have any inclination to be even with them, you need but put three or four Wits into any hole in your Garden, and they will out-rhyme all Eaton and Westminster, I think, Swift, Gay, and I could undertake it, if you don't think our Heads too expensive: but the same hand that did
the others, will do them as cheap. If all else should fail, you are sure at least of the head, hand, and heart of
servant. Why should you fear any disagreeable news to reach us at Mount Bevis? Do as I do even within ten miles of London, let no news whatever come near you. As to public affairs we never knew a deader season : 'tis all filent, deep tranquillity. Indeed, they say, 'tis fometimes so just before an Earthquake. But whatever happens, cannot we observe the wise neutrality of the Dutch, and let all about us fall by the ears ? or if you, my Lord, should be prick'd on by any old-fashion'd notions of Honour and Romance, and think it necessary for the General of the Marines to be in action, when our Fleets are in motion ; meet them at Spithead, and take me along with you. I decline no danger where the glory of Great Britain is concern'd; and will contribute to empty the largest bowl of punch that shall be rigg'd out on such an occasion. Adieu, my Lord, and may as many Years attend you, as may be happy and honour
From the Earl of PETER BOROW.
OU must receive my letters with a juft im
partiality, and give grains of allowance for a gloomy or rainy day; I link grievousy with the weather-glass, and am quite spiritless when oppress'd with the thoughts of a Birth-day or a Return.
Dutiful affection was bringing me to town, but undutiful laziness, and being much out of order, keep me in the country ; however, if alive, I must
make my appearance at the Birth-day. Where you Thowed one letter, you may shew the other; the that never was wanting in any good office in her power, will make a proper excuse, where a fin of Omiflion, I fear, is not reckoned as a venial fin.
I consent you shall call me polemic, or associate me to any sect or Corporation, provided you do not join me to the Charitable Rogues or to the Pacific Politicians of the present age. I have read over * Barkley in vain, and find, after a stroke given on the left, I cannot offer the right cheek for another blow: all I can bring myself to, is to bear mortification from the Fair sex with patience.
You seem to think it vexatious that I shall allow you but one woman at a time, either to praise, or love. If I dispute with you upon this point, I doubt every jury will give a verdict against me. So, Sir, with a Mahometan indulgence, I allow you pluralities, the favourite privilege of our church.
I find you do not mend upon correction; again I tell you, you must not think of women in a reasonable way: you know we always make Goddesses of those we adore upon earth; and do not all the good men tell us, we must lay aside Reason in what relates to the Deity?
'Tis well the Poets are preparing fongs of joy: 'tis well to lay in antidotes of soft rhyme, against the rough prose they may chance to meet with at Westminster. I should have been glad of any thing of Swift's: pray, when you write to him next, tell him I expect him with impatience, in a place as odd and as much out of the way, as himself.
* Barkley's apology for the Quakers. P.
Henever you apply as a good Papist to your
female Mediatrix, you are sure of success but there is not a full assurance of your entire submission to mother-church, and that abates a little of your authority. However, if you will accept of country letters, she will correspond from the hay-cock, and I will write to you upon the side of my wheelbarrow: surely fuch fetters might escape examination.
Your Idea of the Golden Age is, that every Shepherd might pipe where he pleased. As I have lived longer, I am more moderate in my wishes, and would be content with the liberty of not piping where I am not pleased.
Oh how I wish, to myself and my friends, a freedom which Fate seldom allows, and which we often refuse ourselves! why is our Shepherdefs * in voluntary slavery? why must our Dean fubmit to the Colour of his coat, and live absent from us? and why are you confined to what you cannot relieve?
I seldom venture to give accounts of my journeys before-hand, because I take resolutions of going to London, and keep them no better than quarrelling lovers do theirs. But the devil will drive me thither about the middle of next month, and I will call upon you, to be sprinkled with holy water, before I enter the place of corruption.
L E T TER XXXVIII. .
From the fame.
1732. AM under the greatest impatience to see Dr.
Swift at Beyis-Mount, and must fignify my mind to him by another hand, it not being permitted me to hold correspondence with the said Dean, for no letter of mine can come to his hands.
And whereas it is apparent, in this protestant land, most especially under the care of divine providence, that nothing cần succeed or come to a happy issue but by Bribery; therefore let me know what he expects to comply with my desires, and it shall be remitted unto him.
For tho' I would not corrupt any man for the whole world, yet a benevolence may be given without any offence to conscience ; every onă must confefs, that gratification and corruption are two diftinct terms ; nay at worst many goodi men hold, that for a good end, some very naughty measures may
be made use of. But, Sir, I must give you some good news inrelation toʻmyfelf, because, I know, you with me well ; I am cur'd of some diseases in old
age, which tormented me very much in my youth.
I was poffefs’d with violent and uneasy paflions, such as a peevish concern for Truth *, and a saucy.
Court 311 073
a Christian Priest preached against the Spirit of the Gospel, when an English Judge determined against Magna Charta, when the
Minifer acted against Common Senfe, I used to fret. SWiA3may be feen from his transaktions with Fenwick;
19.12 Di 999W.Por in the year 169657. na OYOTI