fuade people to buy their oyfters, green haftings, or new ballads. Epithets may be found in great plenty at Billingsgate, Sarcajmn and Irony learned upon the Water, and the Epiphonema or Exclamation frequently from the Bear-garden, and as frequently from the Hear him of the House of Commons.

Now each man applying his whole time and genius upon his particular Figure, would doubtlefs attain to perfection; and when each became incorporated and fworn into the Society (as hath been propofed), a Poet or Orator would have no more to do but to fend to the particular Traders in each Kind, to the Metaphorift for his Allegories, to the Simile-maker for his Comparifons, to the Ironift for his Sarcafms, to the Apothegmatift for his Sentences, etc. whereby a Dedication or Speech would be compofed in a moment, the superior artift having nothing to do but to put together all the Materials.

I therefore propofe that there be contrived with all conventent difpatch, at the publick expence, a Rhetorical Chest of Drawers, confiiting of three Stories, the highest for the Deliberative, the middle for the Demonftrative, and the loweft for the Judicial. Thefe fhall be fubdivided into Loci or Places, being repofitories for Matter and Argument in the feveral kinds of oration or writing; and every drawer shall again be fubdivided into Cells, resembling thofe of Cabinets for Rarities. The apartment for Peace or War, and that of the Liberty of the Prefs, may in a very few days be filled with feveral arguments perfectly new; and the Vituperative Partition will as eafily be replenished with a most choice collection, entirely of the growth and manufacture of the prefent age. Every composer will foon be taught the use of this Cabinet, and how to

manage all the Registers of it, which will be drawn out much in the manner of those in an Organ.

The Keys of it must be kept in honest hands, by fome Reverend Prelate or Valiant Officer, of unqueftionable Loyalty and Affection to every prefent Eftablishment in Church and State; which will fufficiently guard against any mifchief which might otherwife be apprehended from it.

And being lodged in fuch hands, it may be at difcretion let out by the Day, to feveral great Orators in both Houses; from whence it is to be hoped much Profit and Gain will also accrue to our Society.

CHA P. XIV.

How to make Dedications, Panegyricks, or Satires, and of the Colours of Honourable and Dishonourable.

Now

ow of what neceffity the foregoing Project may prove, will appear from this fingle confideration, that nothing is of equal confequence to the fuccefs of our Works, as Speed and Dispatch. Great pity it is, that solid brains are not, like other folid bodies, constantly endowed with a velocity in finking, proportioned to their heaviness: For it is with the flowers of the Bathos as with thofe of Nature, which, if the careful gardener brings not haftily to market in the Morning, muft unprofitably perish and wither before Night. And of all our Productions none is fo fhort-lived as the Dedication and Panegyrick, which are often but the Praise of a Day, and become by the next utterly useless, improper, indecent, and falfe. This is the more to be

lamented, inasmuch as thefe two are the forts whereon in a manner depends that Profit, which muft ftill be remembered to be the main end of our Writers and Speakers.

We fhall therefore employ this chapter in fhewing the quickest method of compofing them; after which we will teach a short way to Epick Poetry. And these being confeffedly the works of most Importance and Difficulty, it is prefumed we may leave the reft to each author's own learning or practice.

First of Panegyrick. Every man is bonourable, who is fo by Law, Cuftom, or Title. The Publick are better judges of what is honourable than private Men. The Virtues of great Men, like those of Plants, are inherent in them whether they are exerted or not; and the more ftrongly inherent, the less they are exerted; as a man is the more rich, the less he spends. All great Ministers,without either private or oeconomical Virtue, are virtuous by their Pofts, liberal and generous upon the Publick Money, provident upon Publick Supplies, just by paying Publick Intereft, courageous and magnanimous by the Fleets and Armies, magnificent upon the Publick Expences, and prudent by Publick Succefs. They have by their Office a right to a fhare of the Publick Stock of Virtues; befides, they are by Prescription immemorial invefted in all the celebrated virtues of their Predeceffors in the same stations, especially those of their own Ancestors.

As to what are commonly called the Colours of Honourable and Dishonourable, they are various in different Countries: In this they are, Blue, Green, and Red.

But forafmuch as the duty we owe to the Publick doth often require that we should put fome things in a ftrong light, and throw a fhade over others, I fhall explain the method of turning a vicious Man into a Hero.

The first and chief rule is the Golden Rule of Tranfformation, which confifts in converting Viccs into their bordering Virtues. A man who is a Spendthrift, and will not pay a just Debt, may have his injuftice tranfformed into Liberality; Cowardice may be metamorphofed into Prudence; Intemperance into Good-nature and Good-fellowship; Corruption into Patriotism; and Lewdness into Tenderness and Facility.

The fecond is the Rule of Contraries: It is certain the lefs a Man is endued with any Virtue, the more need he has to have it plentifully bestowed, especially thofe good qualities of which the world generally believes he hath none at all: For who will thank a Man for giving him that which he has?

The Reverse of these Precepts will ferve for Satire, wherein we are ever to remark, that whofo lofeth his place, or becomes out of favour with the Government, hath forfeited his fhare in publick Praife and Honour. Therefore the truly publick-fpirited Writer ought in duty to ftrip him whom the government hath stripped; which is the real poetical Justice of this age. For a full collection of Topicks and Epithets to be used in the praise and Difpraise of Minifterial and Unminifterial Perfons, I refer to our Rhetorical Cabinet; concluding with an earnest exhortation to all my brethren, to observe the Precepts here laid down, the neglect of which hath coft fome of them their Ears in a Pillory.

CHAP. XV.

A Receipt to make an Epick Poem..

AN Epick Poem, the Criticks agree, is the greatest work human nature is capable of. They have already laid down many mechanical rules for compofitions of this fort, but at the fame time they cut off almoft all undertakers from the poffibility of ever performing them; for the firft qualification they unanimoufly require in a Poet, is a Genius. I fhall here endeavour (for the benefit of my countrymen) to make it manifeft, that Epick Poems may be made without a Genius, nay without Learning or much Reading. This muft neceffarily be of great ufe to all those who confefs they never Read, and of whom the world is convinced they never Learn. Moliere obferves of making a dinner, that any man can do it with Money, and if a profeffed Cook cannot do it without, he has his Art for nothing; the fame may be faid of making a Poem, it is calily brought about by him that has a Genius, but the skill lies in doing it without one. In purfuance of this end, I fhall prefent the Reader with a plain and certain Recipe, by which any Author in the Bathos may be qualified for this grand performance.

For the FABLE.

Take out of any old Poem, Hiftory-book, Romance, or Legend (for instance, Geoffry of Monmouth, or Don Belianis of Greece), thofe parts of fstory which afford most fcope for long Defcriptions: Put these pieces together, and throw all the adventures you fancy into one Tale. Then take a Hero, whom you may chufe for the found of his name, and put him into the midst of these ad