Syne draws her kebbucks an' her knife
The lasses they are shyer.
The auid guidmen, about the grace,
Frae side to side they bother,
Till some ane by his bonnet lays,
An' gies them't like a tether,
Fu' lang that day.

Waesucksh for him that gets nae lass,
Or lasses that hae naething!
Sma' need has he to say a grace,
Or melviel his braw claithing
O wives, be mindfu' ance yoursel
How bonnie lads ye wanted,
An' dinna, for a kebbuck-heel,k
Let lasses be affronted

On sic a day!

Now Clinkumbell, wi' rattlin' tow,m
Begins to jow an' croon ;n
Some swagger hame the best they dow,
Some wait the afternoon.

At slaps the billies halt a blink,"
Till lasses siip their shoon :

Wi' faith and hope, an' love an' drink,
They're a' in famous tune

For cracks that day.

How monie hearts this day converts

O' sinners and o' lasses!

Their hearts o' stane, gin night, are gane
As saft as onie flesh is.

There's some are fout o' love divine;
There's some are fou o' brandy;
An' monie jobs that day begin,

Then. g Cheese.
k The heel of cheese.
n The motion of
• As well as they can.
A little time.

m Rope.

h Alas! i To soil with meal
Who rings the church-bell.
ringing, and sound of the bell.
Gates. g Young men.
sTalk.
t Full.

May end in houghmagandie"
Some ither day.

THE ORDINATION.

For sense they little owe to frugal Heav'n-
To please the mob, they hide the little giv'n.
KILMARNOCK Wabsters, fidge an' claw,
An' pour your creshier nations;
An' ye wha leather rax2 an' draw,
Of a' denominations-

Swith to the Laigh Kirk, ane an' a',
An' there tak up your stations;
Then aff to Begbie's in a raw,
An' pour divine libations

For joy this day.

Curst Common Sense, that imp o' hell,
Cam in wi' Maggie Lauder,6
But O ****** aft made her yell,
An' Russel sair misca'd her;
This day M'Kinlay taks the flail,
An' he's the boy will blaude her;
He'll clap a shangand on her tail,
An' set the bairnse to daub her
Wi' dirt this day.

Mak haste an' turn king David owre,
An' lilt wi' holy clangor ;

O' double verse come gie us four,

An' skirls up the Bangor :

This day the Kirk kicks up a stour,h

Nae mair the knaves shall wrang her;

For Heresy is in her pow'r,

u Fornication. w Weavers. * Scratch. y Greasy. z Stretch.-An allusion to shoemakers.

a Row.

b Alluding to a scoffing ballad which was made on the admis sion of the late reverend and worthy Mr. L. to the Laigh Kirk. c To slap, or strike.

d A cleft stick, sometimes mischievously fastened to the tail of

a dog.

Children.

To shriek, or cry aloud.

fTo sing

h Dust.

And gloriously she'll whangi her
Wi' pith this day.

Come, let a proper text be read,
An' touch it aff wi' vigour,
How graceless Hamk leugh' at his dad,
Which made Canaan a niger ;m
Or Phineas" drove the murdering blade,
Wi' w-e-abhorring rigour;

Or Zipporah, the scauldin'P jade,
Was like a bluidy¶ tiger

I' th' inn that day.

There, try his metal on the creed,
And bind him down, wi' caution,
That stipend is a carnal weed

He taks but for the fashion;
And gie him o'er the flock, to feed,
And punish each transgression;
Especial rams, that cross the breed,
Gie them sufficient threshin';

Spare them nae day.

Now auld Kilmarnock cock thy tail,

And toss thy horns fu' canty;"

Nae mair thou 'lt rowtes out-owre the dale,

Because thy pasture's scanty;

For lapfu's large o' gospel kailt

Shall fill thy crib in plenty,

And runts" o' grace the pick and wale,"

No gien by way o' dainty,

But ilka day.

Nae mair by Babel's streams we'll weep, To think upon our Zion;

And hing our fiddles up to sleep,

Like baby-clouts a-dryin':

Come, screw the pegs wi' tunefu' cheep,
And o'er the thairmsa be tryin';
O rare! to see our elbucksb wheep,
An' a' like lamb-tails flying

Fu' fast this day!

Lang Patronage, wi' rod o' airn,d
Has shor'de the Kirk's undoin',
As lately Fenwick, sair forfairn,
Has proven to its ruin :

Our Patron, honest man! Glencairn,
He saw mischief was brewin';

And, like a godly elect bairn,

He's wal'ds us out a true ane,
And sound this day.

Now R******* harangue nae mair,
But steek your gabh for ever:
Or try the wicked town of Ayr,
For there they'll think you clever:

Or, nae reflection on your lear,1
Ye may commence a shaver;
Or to the Netherton repair,
And turn a carpet-weaver

Aff-hand this day.

M***** and you were just a match,
We never had sic twa drones :
Auld Hornie did the Laigh Kirk watch,
Just like a winkin' baudrons ;k
And ay he catch'd the tither wretch,
To fry them in his caudrons.
But now his honour maun detach,
Wi' a' his brimstone squadrons,
Fast, fast this day.

: Chirp.

d Iron.

Picked.

a Fiddle-strings. & Elbows.

c Move nimbly.

e Offered, or attempted. f Distressed. h Shut your mouth. i Learning. & A cat.

See, see auld Orthodoxy's faes
She's swingin'm thro' the city:
Hark! how the nine-tail'd cat she plays!
I vow it's unco" pretty :

There, Learning, wi' his Greekish face,
Grunts out some Latin ditty;

An' Common Sense is gaun, she says,

To mak to Jamie Beattie"

Her plaint this day.

But there's Morality himsel,
Embracing all opinions;
Hear, how he gies the tither yell
Between his twa companions!
See, how she peels the skin an' fell,P
As ane were peeling onions!
Now there they're packed aff to hell,
And banish'd our dominions,

Henceforth this day.

O happy day! rejoice, rejoice!
Come, bouse about the porter!
Morality's demure decoys

Sha. here nae mair find quarter:
M'Kinlay, Russel, are the boys,
That Heresy can torture;

They'll gie her on a rape1 a hoyse,"
And cowe her measure shorter
By th' head some day.

Come, bring the tither mutchkint in;
And here's, for a conclusion,
To every new-light" mother's son,
From this time forth, confusion;

If mair they deave us wi' their din,
Or patronage intrusion,

I Foes.

m Whipping.

o James Beattie, LL. D., author of The Minstrel,' Evidences of the Christian Religion,' &c.

r Hoist.

p The flesh immediately under the
To lop, or cut off.
u See note, p. 176.

* Very.

skin.

9 Rope. t An English pint. w To deafen.