AMPHITRYON,

OR THE

TWO SOSIAS.

ACT I. SCENE I.

MERCURY and PHŒвUS descend in two Machines.

Pho. Know you the reason of this present sum

mons?

'Tis neither council day, nor is this heaven.
What business has our Jupiter on earth?
Why more at Thebes than any other place?
And why we two, of all the herd of gods,
Are chosen out to meet him in consult ?
They call me God of Wisdom

;

But Mars and Vulcan, the two fools of heaven,
Whose wit lies in their anvil and their sword,
Know full as much as I.

Merc. And Venus may know more than both of

us;

For 'tis some petticoat affair, I guess.

I have discharged my duty, which was, to summon you, Phoebus: we shall know more anon, when the Thunderer comes down. 'Tis our part to obey our father; for, to confess the truth, we two are little better than sons of harlots; and, if Jupiter had not been pleased to take a little pains with our mothers, instead of being gods, we might have been a couple of link-boys.

Pho. But know you nothing farther, Hermes? What news in court?

Merc. There has been a devilish quarrel, I can tell you, between Jupiter and Juno. She threatened to sue him in the spiritual court for some matrimonial omissions; and he stood upon his prerogative: then she hit him in the teeth of all his bastards; and your name and mine were used with less reverence than became our godships. They were both in their cups; and at last the matter grew so high, that they were ready to have thrown stars at one another's heads.

Pho. 'Twas happy for me that I was at my vocation, driving day-light about the world. But I had rather stand my father's thunderbolts, than my stepmother's railing.

Merc. When the tongue-battle was over, and the championess had harnessed her peacocks to go for Samos, and hear the prayers that were made to her

Pho. By the way, her worshippers had a bad time on't; she was in a damnable humour for receiving petitions.

Merc. Jupiter immediately beckons me aside, and charges me, that, as soon as ever you had set up your horses, you and I should meet him here at Thebes : Now, putting the premises together, as dark as it is, methinks I begin to see day-light.

Pho. As plain as one of my own beams; she has made him uneasy at home, and he is going to seek

his diversion abroad. I see heaven itself is no privileged place for happiness, if a man must carry his wife along with him.

Merc. 'Tis neither better nor worse, upon my conscience. He is weary of hunting in the spacious forest of a wife, and is following his game incognito in some little purlieu here at Thebes: that's many an honest man's case on earth too, Jove help them! as indeed he does, to make them cuckolds.

Pho. But, if so, Mercury, then I, who am a poet, must indite his love-letter; and you, who are by trade a porter, must convey it.

Merc. No more; he's coming down souse upon us, and hears as far as he can see too. He's plaguy hot upon the business, I know it by his hard driv

ing.

JUPITER descends.

Jup. What, you are descanting upon my actions! Much good may do you with your politics:

All subjects will be censuring their kings.
Well, I confess I am in love; what then?

Pho. Some mortal, we presume, of Cadmus' blood;
Some Theban beauty; some new Semele ;
Or some Europa.

Merc. I'll say that for my father, he's constant to a handsome family; he knows when they have a good smack with them, and snuffs up incense so savourily when 'tis offered by a fair hand,

Jup. Well, my familiar sons, this saucy carriage I have deserved; for he, who trusts a secret, Makes his own man his master.

I read your thoughts;

Therefore you may as safely speak as think.

Merc. Mine was a very homely thought.-I was considering into what form your almightyship would be pleased to transform yourself to-night: whether

you would fornicate in the shape of a bull, or a ram, or an eagle, or a swan: what bird or beast you would please to honour, by transgressing your own laws in his likeness; or, in short, whether you would recreate yourself in feathers, or in leather?

Pho. Any disguise to hide the king of gods.

Jup. I know your malice, Phoebus; you would

say,

That, when a monarch sins, it should be secret,
To keep exterior show of sanctity,

Maintain respect, and cover bad example :
For kings and priests are in a manner bound,
For reverence sake, to be close hypocrites.

Pho. But what necessitates you to this love,
Which you confess a crime, and yet commit?
For, to be secret makes not sin the less ;
'Tis only hidden from the vulgar view ;
Maintains, indeed, the reverence due to princes,
But not absolves the conscience from the crime.

Jup. I love, because 'twas in the fates I should.
Pho. With reverence be it spoke, a bad excuse:
Thus every wicked act, in heaven or earth,
May make the same defence. But what is fate?
Is it a blind contingence of events,

Or sure necessity of causes linked,

That must produce effects? Or is't a power,
That orders all things by superior will,

Foresees his work, and works in that foresight?
Jup. Fate is, what I,

;

By virtue of omnipotence, have made it
And power omnipotent can do no wrong !
Not to myself, because I will it so ;
Nor yet to men, for what they are is mine.-
This night I will enjoy Amphitryon's wife;
For, when I made her, I decreed her such
As I should please to love. I wrong not him
Whose wife she is; for I reserved my right,

To have her while she pleased me; that once past, She shall be his again.

Merc. Here's omnipotence with a vengeance! to make a man a cuckold, and yet not to do him wrong! Then I find, father Jupiter, that when you made fate, you had the wit to contrive a holiday for yourself now and then; for you kings never enact a law, but you have a kind of an eye to your own preroga tive.

Pho. If there be no such thing as right and wrong

Of an eternal being, I have done;
But if there be,

Jup. Peace, thou disputing fool!

Learn this; If thou could'st comprehend my ways,
Then thou wert Jove, not I; yet thus far know,
That, for the good of human kind, this night
I shall beget a future Hercules,

Who shall redress the wrongs of injured mortals,
Shall conquer monsters, and reform the world.

Merc. Ay, brother Phoebus; and our father made all those monsters for Hercules to conquer, and contrived all those vices on purpose for him to reform too, there's the jest on't.

Pho. Since arbitrary power will hear no reason, 'Tis wisdom to be silent.

Merc. Why that's the point; this same arbitrary power is a knock-down argument; 'tis but a word and a blow. Now methinks, our father speaks out like an honest bare-faced god, as he is; he lays the stress in the right place, upon absolute dominion: I confess, if he had been a man, he might have been a tyrant, if his subjects durst have called him to account. But you, brother Phoebus, are but a mere country gentleman, that never comes to court; that are abroad all day on horseback, making visits about the world; are drinking all night; and, in your cups,