the load of debt that hangs over my head; and I have sometimes thought, that the comparison of debtors was selected by the Saviour, purposely to show, that guilt in the sight of God, is chiefly incurred by the neglect of His own spiritual gifts, not in proportion merely to the abstract morality of man's conduct. It is certainly, what we have received, that will be required at our hands: and oh, in the sight of the Judge of all the earth, how much do I owe unto my Lord? This day, though I was not in darkness about it, seems almost to have overtaken me unawares. I was not ready for it, though I knew so well when it would come; and oh, for that day which I know not, how near it may be, when the account is to be finally made up-how, how shall I prepare? With all the blessings, and invitations, and helps, which the good God has given me, I am deeply, deeply involved. How, then, can I dream of clearing off these debts, when there can be no doubt that I shall daily incur more? Alas, I am too much disposed to keep a meum and tuum with heaven itself in more senses than one. * * * As to setting out anew on a carte-blanche, I cannot. There lies the deeply stained record against me: "I called," and O, how deep the meaning, "ye did not answer." Yes, my heart did; but to answer, "I go sir," does but add to the condemnation that "I went not."

6th Mo. 23rd. This morning, I believe the spirit was, in measure, willing, though the "flesh was weak." I have thought of the lines—

"When first thou didst thy all commit,
To Him upon the mercy-seat

He gave thee warrant from that hour,
To trust his wisdom, love and power."

My desire is to know that my all is committed, and then, I do believe, He will be known to be faithful that hath promised. The care of our salvation is not ours; our weak understandings cannot even fathom the means whereby it is effected; but this we do know, that it indispensably requires to be "wrought out with fear and trembling." The Saviour will be ours, only on condition of our being his. Religion must not be an acquirement, but a transformation; and surely that spirit, which could not make itself, and which, when made by God, has but degraded itself, is unable to "create itself anew in Christ Jesus unto good works." No, fear and trembling are the only part, and that but negative, which the spirit of man can have in working out its own salvation; but when led by the good spirit into this true fear, when given to wait, and held waiting at the feet of Jesus, it is made able, gradually, to receive the essential gospel of salvation; and so long only, is it in the way of salvation, as it

is sensible of its constant dependance on the one Saviour of men.

May Friends, above all, while distinctly maintaining the doctrine of the influence of the Spirit on the heart, be deeply and personally sensible, that there is but one Saviour, even Jesus Christ, who came into the world to save sinners, of whom, as we are led to true repentance, I believe each one will be ready to think "I am chief." The distinguishing practices of Friends, as to dress, language, etc. are in no manner valuable, but when they spring from the root of essential Christianity. This is certainly the great thing, "Cleanse first the inside. of the cup and platter."

7th Mo. 7th. Last week was our Quarterly Meeting. I know not that I can speak of any permanent advantage therefrom to my spirit, which is so much more apt to be cumbered with " many things" on such occasions, than to sit at the feet of Jesus. Indeed, I get much more benefit commonly alone, or from a testimony in a usual meeting, than at such times.

11th Mo. 18th. I believe it is one and the same fallen nature which, at one time, is holding me captive to the world; at another, filling me with impatience and anxiety about my spiritual progress; at another, with self-confidence, and at another,

with despondency. Oh, the enemy knows my many weak sides; but I do hope and trust the Lord will take care of me. "Past, present, future, calmly leave to Him who will do all things well." If the root be but kept living and growing, then I need not be anxious about the branches; but above all, the root must be the husbandman's exclusive care.

11th Mo. 30th. I believe I sincerely desire that no spurious self-satisfaction may be mistaken for the peace of God, that no activity in works of selfrighteousness may be mistaken for doing the day's work in the day. Oh, who can tell the snares that surround me yet I have been comforted this morning in thinking of the declaration, "His mercies are over all his works; " which I believe may be very especially applied to the work of His spirit in the soul of man. Over this He does watch, and to this he does dispense, day by day, his merciful protection from surrounding dangers; "I, the Lord, do keep it, I will water it every moment; lest any hurt it, I will keep it night and day." Oh, the blessedness of a well-founded watchful, humble trust in this keeping.

12th Mo. 27th.

The mean self-indulgence of sleeping late, has come over me again, though I found, a week or two since, after a firm resolve, the difficulty vanish.

This morning I had no time for

retirement before breakfast; and should circumstances ever become less under my control, this habit may prevent my having any morning oblation. The weakness and sinfulness of my heart, have been making me almost tremble at the thought of another year; how shall I meet its thousand dangers and not fall? In religious communications in our house, I am apt to look for any intimation that I could appropriate of a shortened pilgrimage; but very little of the sort has occurred; indeed I expect my selfish wish will not be gratified, of escaping early from this toilsome world; but how rash and ungrateful are such thoughts; how much better all these things are in my Father's hands. Oh, if I may be there too in the form of passive clay, and receive all his tutoring and refining, this will be enough: and should my future way be full of sorrows, heaven will bring me sweeter rest at last; when the whole work is done, when the robes are quite washed, when the fight is quite fought, and the death died; when the eternal life, which shall blossom above, is brought into actual health here, and real fellowship is made with my last hour.

1st Mo. 10th, 1845. I am inclined to set down the events of my little world for the past week; that in days to come, should it prove that I have been following "cunningly devised fables," I may beware of such entanglements again and that if