by imparting ineffable desires after what is good, even to a heart that has grown dry, and dead, and worldly. I have thought that some measure of our growth in grace, may be found in the degree in which our carnal natural reluctance to receive Christ back into our vessel, come how he may, is diminished. How full of significance is the enquiry, "to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?" Blessed revelation; and well is it for those who feel ready to adopt the prayer, "awake, awake, O arm of the Lord," if they know the way of its coming. Oh, how does its acceptance pre-suppose an experience of something of the kind, so awfully set forth as from Omnipotence Himself, "I looked, and there was no man, therefore mine own arm brought salvation unto me." Yes, it is when He sees that we have no human expectance or confidence left, and are, as it were, at our wits end; it is then that His own arm brings salvation, that He says, "stand still and see the salvation of God, for the Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace." how great the condescension which has given me a glimpse of "so great salvation." But I have remarked, that it never has been in answer to any questionings or searchings of my own. Some great perplexities I have had lately, being so unable to satisfy myself how far religion or its duties should be the act of ourselves-so confused about prayer,

Oh,

etc.

Difficulties, hardly capable to be put into words, put me in real distress, but the good seems to be revealed, if I may use such a word, to another part of me; or, as I. Pennington would say, "to another eye and ear than those which are so curious to learn." The Lord grant that I may at last become an obedient and truly teachable child, for that faculty, whatsoever it be, that asks vociferously, seems not to be the one, which, as I. P. says, "gaspingly receives," but is rather a hindrance to its reception.

10th Mo. 14th. Outwardly, the chief variety in my experience has been an interesting visit with my mother at Kingsbridge and Totness. A solitary walk in the garden at Totness, on First-day afternoon, I think I can never forget. No sunshine, though not mere darkness, was upon me during nearly all the week; yet I wondered to find that at Kingsbridge, though visiting was a constant selfdenial in withdrawing me from the earnest search in which I was engaged, I got on more easily than common, and felt much more love than usual to my friends. The first gleam of sunshine did not come through any man's help, but in my lone matin the day after our return. I tried to cast my care on God, and on Seventh-day morning was favoured with a blessed evidence that He did care for me.

Since then it has not been repeated; but earnest have been my cries in secret to my heavenly Father, whose mercies indeed are great; and my lonely hours have been employed mostly in seeking Him, having little taste for reading of any general kind. One morning in particular, at Trevelmond, in the plantation waiting for my father, was my heart poured out to God. Calmness has often succeeded; and then I dread the coming of indifference and coolness. Oh, this is surely the worst of states. I had rather endure almost any amount of anguish.

My own future is much of a blank; some apprehensions occur at times that a more public path may be mine, but I wish to leave it all in better hands, only entreating for a thoroughly resigned spirit. Yesterday, the probability that my course on earth may be short, occurred forcibly. I recurred to the words quoted by J. T. "the sting of death is sin," with encouragement to hope for "the victory." However the future is not my care.

May I be the

care of Him whose care the future is, and then

10th Mo. 22nd. At home with a cold, and may just record my poor spirit's lowness and poverty, amid, as I trust, its honest desires to become wholly the Lord's. "Ye ask and have not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts," is surely true of spiritual food. We should desire

it that we "may grow thereby," not from mere spiritual voluptuousness; and oh, in my own desires for the will of God to be done, how often have I not known what spirit I was of. How often have I been tenaciously standing on the very ground that I was asking to have broken up and destroyed. A short low meeting in the parlour, blest chiefly with humiliation, and this I would regard as a blessing.

Letter to

I am tempted to spend a few lonely minutes in thanking thee for thy truly kind salutation, advice, and encouragement; though I fear to say much in reply. I hope and trust thou art not altogether mistaken in me, in one respect I know thou art not, that I have seen of the mercy and love of a long-suffering Saviour, whom I do at times desire to love and serve with all my heart: and not the least of His blessings I esteem it that any of His children should care for me for His sake. I dread depending on any, even of these, which, as well as the fear of man, I have found does bring a snare; and as far as experience goes, I seem to have tasted more of the "tree of the knowledge of good and evil," than of the " 'tree of life;" which, however, I would fain hope, "yielding its fruit every month," has some for the wintry season of darkness and of frost. Yes, my dear friend, thou hast rightly judged in this also, that the winter is sometimes very cold, and the night very dark. May thy desires for me be accomplished, that these may indeed

work for my good; much as the utter absence of feeling would sometimes tempt me to think it the result of that worst of all sentences, "let her alone;" to which the

added memories of many a ready to contribute. Am

I

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mercy cast away," are very in this repining? I hope

not, for every day brings fresh cause to acknowledge that because my enemies, though lively and strong, “do not quite triumph over me," therefore I may still trust that He favoureth me. It is seldom that I write or speak in this way of myself. May we learn more and more of the utter insufficiency of any earthly thing, or of any power of our own to do what is essential for our salvation, and then, when we hang solely and entirely on the Lord Jesus, we shall be safe. Of this I feel no doubt or fear-the fear is of having confidence in any thing besides, of spiritual pride, of self-sufficiency. Yes, I find self has many livés, and the very sorrows and humiliations of one day, if we do not beware, may become the idols of the next. "We have eaten and drunk in thy presence:" can such a language ever be used in vain glory, while we remember the wormwood and the gall," which we now see to have been administered in fulfilment of His own words, "ye shall indeed drink of my cup?" Indeed it seems to me that nothing is too high, too good, or too pure, for Satan to make use of, if he can but get us and it into his hands. May the Lord be pleased to rebuke this devourer for our sakes, and give at length to the often desponding heart to know that Himself hath promised, "when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it." and that the "God of peace shall bruise Satan under our feet."

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