THE TREE OF THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION.

165

sion, I change the eemage frae a fruit intil a forest tree; but then, sir, as you weel ken, the bark's

North. Not like "the unfeeling armour of old Time

Shepherd. Na, sir; but like the very hide o' a man, a horse, or an elephant, protectin the beautifu' and fine vein-machinery through which the blood or the sap keeps ebbing and flowing just as mysteriously as the tides o' the great sea. For my ain pairt, I hae nae fears that a' the axes o' our enemies, lang-armed and roun'-shouthered though the race o' Eerishers be, could ever, were they to hack awa for ten thousan' years, penetrate through the outer ring o' the flint-hard wood, far less lab1awa nitil the heart o' the michty bole o' the Tree

North.

"Like a cedar on the top of Lebanon

Darkening the sea."

Shepherd. Na, na, na. For there's nae saft silly sap in the body o' the tremendous auld giant. He's a' heart, sir-and the edges o' their axes would be turned as if strucken against granite.

North. True, James-most beautifully, sublimely true!

Shepherd. Yet still an aik-tree (be thinkin o' the British Constitution, sir), though o' a' things that grow, wi' roots far down in earth, and branches high up in heaven, the maist storm-lovin and thunder-proof, depends for its verra life amaist as muckle on its outer rind as on its inner heart. Tear aff or cut through the rind, and the bole festers with funguses," that, like verra cancers, keep eatin, and eatin, and eatin day and nicht, summer and wunter, into the mysterious principle o' leafy life.

North. You speak like a man inspired, James.

Shepherd. Haena ye seen, sir, and amaist grat in the solitude to see, some noble Tree, it matters not whether elm, ash, or aik, stannin sick sick-like in the forest-why or wherefore you canna weel tell-for a' roun' the black deep soil is pervious to the rains and dews, and a great river gangs sweepin by its roots, gently waterin them when it rins laigh, and dashin drumly yards up the bank when it's in spate-and yet the constitution o' the tree, sir, is gane—its big branches a'

1 Lab-strike.

2 Is not Puseyism one of these here predicted funguses?
3 Laigh-low.

166

SHEIL AMONG THE MEN OF KENT.

tattery wi' unhealthfu' moss, and its wee anes a' frush as saugh-wands, and tryin in vain to shoot out their buds unto the spring-so the hawk or heron builds there nae mair—and you are willing, rather than the monarch o' the wood should thus dee o' consumption, that axes should be laid to his root, and pulleys fastened to his bole and branches, to rug him doun out o' that lang slaw linger o' dwining death, till at last, wi’ ae crash no unworthy o' him, doun he comes-overwhelming hunders o' sma' saplins, and inferior stannards, and alarmin distant vales wi' the unaccountable thunder o' his fa'-no the less awfu' because lang expeckit, and leavin a gap that 'ill no be filled up for centuries-perhaps never while the earth is the earth, and wi' a' its ither trees gangs circlin round the sun, wha misses, as neist morning he rises in the east, the langillumined Glory!

North. Better and better still, my dear James. The bold, bluff, sea-breeze-bronzed Men of Kent, James, how their strong lungs must have crowed within their broad bosoms, to see Sheil attempting to introduce on that stage the principal part in the farce of the Fantoccini!1

Shepherd. Oh! the puppy-Oh! the puppet!

North. A great soul in a small body—and I know some such —is a noble-yes, a noble spectacle !—for their mind triumphs over matter, or, rather, dilates the diminutive form into kindred majesty; or, what is most likely, the shape is sunk, and we see, while we hear, only the soul.

Shepherd. That's as true a word's ever was spoken, sir. As reasonably admire a great, big, hulkin fallow wi' a wee sowl, as think o' undervaluin a man wi' a wee neat body,—or even if it's no neat—wi' a sowl fit for a giant. Never mind the size o' a man. Let him, on risin to speak, tak the advantage o' a stool, sae that his head be on a level wi' the lave, and when the fire o' genius flashes frae his een, and the flood o' eloquence frae his lips, a' the waves o' that living sea will be charmed into a caum; and whan he ceases speakin, and, jumpin aff the stool, disappears, that livin sea will hail him wi' its thunder, like fifty thousan' billows, at full tide, breakin against the beach.

1 An anti-Catholic meeting of the men of Kent, at which Sheil attempted, but in vain, to obtain a hearing, was held at Penenden Heath in that county, in October 1828.

SHEIL AMONG THE MEN OF KENT.

167

North. Admirable, my dear James, admirable !—But here was a puppet indeed! jerking legs and arms, and contorting nose and mouth, as if to a string, managed by Punch, or Punch's wife, beneath the platform.

Shepherd. Sputterin out amang shouts and shrieks o' involuntary lauchter-for man's by nature a lauchin animal, and that distinguishes him frae a' the beasts, no exceppin the lauchin hyena, who after a' only grunts-sentences o' a speech written a fortnight afore in Eerland!

North. Something inexpressibly ludicrous in the whole concern from beginning to end, James. The farewell to his native shores-the passage to Liverpool by steam-his approach in the mail towards London, of which that mighty metropolis lay, with all its millions, unconscious and unaware— and finally, the irresistible appearance of the ape in a cart on the Heath, with his mows and grins, and strangely accented chatter, so different from that of the same species in the Tower or Exeter 'Change'-the rage of the animal on being what is absurdly called insulted, that is, treated in one universal and varied roar, with the tribute felt, by sixty-or say thirty thousand Englishmen to be due to one small Paddy, selfelected representative of the seven millions—and whom any Jack Tibbutts of a Kent yeoman could have put into his breeches-pocket, where the little orator, like the caterwauling voice of a ventriloquist suddenly thrown into your apparel, would have delivered a speech just as like the one he did from the cart, as its report in the Sun newspaper.

Shepherd. Haw-haw-haw! about midnight, sir, you begin to open out granly, and to wax wondrous comical. But what say ye to O'Connell?

North. Dan, again, James

Ambrose (entering with his suavest physiognomy). Beg pardon, Mr North, for venturing in unrung, but there's a young lady wishing to speak with you

Shepherd. A young lady !-show her ben.

North. An anonymous article?

2

Ambrose. No, sir,-Miss Helen Sandford, from the Lodge.

North. Helen!-what does she want?

Ambrose. Miss Sandford had got alarmed, sir

1 Where wild beasts used formerly to be kept.

2 A purely imaginary character.

168

"EARLY TO BED AND EARLY TO RISE,"

دو

Shepherd. Safe us! only look at the time-piece! Four o'clock in the mornin!

Ambrose. And has walked up from the Lodge

Ambrose. No, sir. Her father is with her—and she bids me say-now that she knows her master is well-that here is your Kilmarnock nightcap.

[MR NORTH submits his head to PICARDY, who adjusts the nightcap.

Shepherd. What a cowl!

North. A capote-James. Mr Ambrose,-we three must sleep here all night.

Shepherd. A' mornin ye mean. Tak care o' Tickler amang ye-but recolleck it's no safe to wauken sleepin dowgs-Oh! man! Mr North! sir! but that was touchin attention in puir Eelen. She's like a dochter, indeed.—Come awa, you auld vagabon, to your bed. I'll kick open the door o' your dormitory wi' my fit, as I pass alang the transe in the mornin. The mornin! Faith I'm beginnin already to get hungry for breakfast! Come awa, you auld vagabon—come awa.

[Exeunt NORTH and SHEPHERD, followed by the Height of TICKLER, to Roost.

NORTH (singing as they go.)—

"Early to bed, and early to rise,

Is the way to be healthy, wealthy, and wise!"

Da Capo.

(MARCH 1829.)

Scene I.-The Snuggery. Time,-Nine in the Evening.

NORTH and TICKLER.

Tickler. I paid a visit to-day, North, to a family which has something extraordinary in its constitution.

North. Ay?

Tickler. The lady of the house has been married four times, and the gentleman of the house four times; and as all the seven marriages have been productive, you may conjecture the general character of the interior.

North. What may be the population?

Tickler. Not so immense as various. I should not think it exceeds a score, from what I saw and heard, but it is most diversified.

North. Patchwork.

Tickler. The lady's first husband was a Cockney, and there are twins as like as peas, which is indeed the only description of which they are susceptible. Her second, of course, was an Irishman, to whom she bore a couple of semi-Catholic cubs-both boys-bullet-headed, and with faces like-you have seen him, I believe that of Burke,' the murderer, with grim, but not ferocious expression, decisive mouth, and determined eyes and brows, which, though rather agreeable, over a glass, yet when frowning in an angry parle, or a throttling match, must have been far from pleasant. These promising youths are at present assistants to Dr Knox. Caroline then married a Highland clergyman- very far 1 See post, p. 185.