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But that is no reason for the slander of ill-natured people who want to make the world believe that there never was such a ship as the Burrumpooter at all; and that the Bobbachy and his secretary were a couple of rogues in league together, who never had a penny, and never would have made their way in society but for my introduction. How am I to know the pedigrees of Indian Princes, and the manners of one blackamoor from another? If I introduced the Bobbachy I'm sure other people have introduced other dark-complexioned people; and as for the impudence of those tradesmen who want me to pay his bills, and of Mr. Green, of the hotel, who says he never had a shilling of his Excellency's money, I've no words to speak of it.

Besides, I don't believe he has defrauded anybody; and when the differences at the Court of Delhi are adjusted, I've little doubt but that he will send the paltry few thousand pounds he owes here, and perhaps come back to renew the negotiations for the marriage of his Imperial master.

WHY CAN'T THEY LEAVE US ALONE IN THE HOLIDAYS?

R

FROM HOME, AS YET. 10th January.

ESPECTED MR. PUNCH,-I am a young gentleman of good family, and exceedingly gentle disposition, and at present home for the Christmas holdidays with my dear Papa and Mamma. I believe I am not considered clever at school, being always last in my class: and the Doctor, the Usher, the French Master, and all the boys except Tibbs Minimus (who is only six, and in the last form with me) beat me and ill-use me a great deal. And it's a great shame that I for my part am not allowed to whop Tibbs Minimus, which I could, being 14 myself last birthday; but that nasty brute Tibbs Minor says he'll thrash me if I doand it's very unkind of him; for when he was a child in petticoats, and I was ten, and he was in the last class with me, I never beat him, as I easily could have done, and now the unkind boy is always attacking and wooriting me.

I cannot do lessons and that, Mr. PUNCH; for when the Dr. calls me up my tongue cleaves to the roof of my mouf, I'm so fritned; and same way in French, and same in Arythmetic; and I can't fight like some boys, because I'm a nervous boy; but the

big boys keep me awake telling stories to 'em all night; and I know ever so many, and am always making stories in my head; and somehow I feel that I'm better than many of the chaps-only I can't do anything. And they chaff me and laugh at me, because I'm afraid of being in the dark and seeing ghosts and that, which I can't help it. My mamma had a fright before I was born, and that's what it is, I suppose.

Sir, I am very miserable at school with everybody licking me; and hate the place; and the going back to it-and the idear of it altogether. Why was schools ever invented? When I'm at my dear home, with dear Ma and sisters, and in bed as long as I choose, and wish twice to meat, or three times, if I like; and I walk in the Park, and go to see a lovely Pantamime; and so I lose the horrid thought of school; and it's only in my dreams, sometimes, I see that abommanable old Doctor.

What I want you to do in the interest of all School Boys, is to stop the Times in holy time from publishing those advertisements about schools. On this day, Wednesday, jest against the leading article, there's no less than 2 columns of schools; and Papa, who's always jokin' and chaffin' me, reads 'em out, and says, "Tom, how'd you like this?-Education of a superior kind, Birchwood Briars. No extras, no holidays." Or, "Tom, here's a chance for you-To Laundresses. A schoolmaster wishes to receive into his establishment the Son of a respectable Laundress, on reciprocal terms. Address," &c. "My dear," Pa says to dear Ma, "what a pity you wasn't a washerwoman, and we could get this stupid boy educated for nothing." I'm sure I've been mangled enough by that bully Bob Cuff, if I haven't been ironed and hung up to dry! Or, "To Booksellers, Grocers, Butchers, and Bakers. In a well-appreciated seminary, within five miles of London, the children of the above tradesmen will be received. The whole of the school account will be taken in goods." And Pa wonders if he were to send back our calf with me in our cart, and one of our sheep, whether the Doctor would take them in payment of the quarter's account? And then he says that one calf ought to pay for another, and laughs and makes me miserable for the whole day.

And next week my pleasures, I know, will be dampt by reading the Christmas Vacation of the Chipping-Rodbury Grammar School will conclude on the 24th inst., when the boys are expected to reassemble; the young gentlemen of Dr. Bloxam's Academy will meet on the 25th; or Mr. Broomback's young friends will reassemble after the Christmas recess; or so and so. Why are these horrid thoughts always to be brought before us? I'm sure, at Christmas time, managers of newspapers might be kind and keep these horrid

advertisements out of sight. And if our uncles, and people who come to our house, when we're at home for the holidays, would but be so obliging as never to mention school, or make jokes about flogging, or going back, or what we have for dinner, or that, I'm sure we should be very much the happier, and you won't have heard in vain from your wretched reader, UNDER PETTY.

I

STRANGE MAN JUST DISCOVERED IN
GERMANY

T has been mentioned in the German journals that a foreigner, from some unknown country, and speaking a jargon scarcely intelligible by the most profound German philologists, has lately made his appearance at Frankfort-on-the-Oder, where of course he was handed over to the care of the police.

"This individual was brought before us, Johann Humpffenstrumpffen, Burgomaster of Frankfort, on Tuesday, the 8th of April, and examined in our presence and that of our Clerk and Town Council.

"The raiment and appearance of this individual, landed, no one knows how, in a remote and extremely quiet German city, are described by all persons as most singular. In height he is about five feet six inches, his hair is white, his face sallow, his beard red that on his upper lip not so much grown as that on his cheeks; his hands are large and dirty, his teeth useful, his appetite great, and his thirst constant.

On his head

"His dress is most extraordinary and barbarous. he wears a covering of a snuff-brown colour, in shape something like a wash-basin-which it would be very advisable that he should use for his face and hands. Round his neck, which is exceedingly ugly and bare, he wears a strip of a shining stuff, spun out of worms, he says, in his own country, and called an Alberti: it is puffed in two bows round his cheeks, and gives him a highly absurd appearance.

"His outer garment was a loose shaggy vest, made out of the skin of bears, most likely, and tainted strongly with a stale and exceedingly rancorous odour of what he calls 'backy-backy.' This outer dress-when asked its name, by Burgermeister von Humpffenstrumpffen the nondescript called a Minorimosy'; and holding up his outstretched hand three times, cried out the syllable 'Bob,'

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and wagged his head; from which the Burgomaster concluded that 'bob' is the name of a coin of the country.

"His next garment, one without sleeves, was decorated with buttons of glass; and in the pockets were found bits of paper, which the nondescript tried to explain-by the words 'ungle,' 'tickor,' 'spowt,' &c.—and showed by his gestures that the papers were to him of considerable value. They are greasy, and, to all appearances, worthless, coarsely printed, and marked with rude manuscript numerals. It is conjectured that they may form part of the paper-money of his country.

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Beyond these tokens, no coin of any kind was found on the nondescript's person.

"Under the glass-buttoned garment, from which he struggled violently not to be divested, the stranger had on two other very singular articles of costume. One was very ragged, and evidently old, and covered with printed figures in pink, representing bayaderes dancing. Over this was a small piece of stuff worked with the needle, and once white-the name of which, after repeated and severe interrogatories, he said was 'Dicki.' It has been carried to the Museum, and placed between the breastplate of a Turkish vizier and the corselet of a knight of the middle ages.

"His lower dress was of a broad check pattern, something resembling the stuff which is worn by the Scottish Highlanders, who, however, it is known, do not use bracco, whence it is evident that the stranger cannot be one of these. When the Burgomaster pointed to these, the nondescript wagged his head, pleased seemingly, and said the word "Stunnin,' which the clerk took down.

“On his feet were a sort of short boot with large iron heels, in which he began to execute a queer dance before the Court, clinking the heels together, and turning the toes fantastically in and out. Pointing to this boot with the cane which he carries in his mouth, he winked to the clerk, and said 'Hylo!' but then presently looking round the room, and seeing a portrait of the late Feldmarschall Prince of Wallstadt, he ran up to it and said, 'Blooker! Blooker!' and danced once more.

"What relation can there be between the nondescript's boot and the late gallant and venerated Marshal Forwards, who destroyed Bonaparte, after the latter had defeated and taken the Herzog v. Wellington prisoner at the battle of Mount Saint John?

"At this stage of the examination, and having been allowed to resume all his clothes, the stranger pointed to his mouth, and laid his hand on his stomach, crying out the monosyllable 'Grub,' which Doctor Blinkhorn thinks must mean food in his language. Accordingly, a sausage, some bread, and a can of beer were brought, of the

first of which he partook greedily, devouring the whole bread and sausage. It was observed that he ate with his fork, not with his knife, as we Germans do.

"Having tasted the drink, he, however, laid it down, making very wry faces, and calling out the word 'Swipey, Swipey,' twice, which was taken down. And then, by more faces and contortions, he made us to understand as if the beer had disagreed with him, upon which the excellent Burgermeister, having a bottle of Rhum in the cupboard, gave the savage a glass, who smacked it off at once, crying out the word 'Jolly by jingo.'

"Jollybijingo, was ist denn Jollybijingo?' asked his worship, conjecturing, with his usual acuteness, that this was the savage's phrase for Rhum of Jamaica. 'Wilt thou have yet a glass Jollibijingo?' And his Honour poured out a second glass, which the nondescript seized, and tossed off this time, exclaiming—

"Aybaleaveyermibawawawy!'

"Which expression being accurately taken down, his worship the Burgermeister considered the examination sufficient, and sent off the Foreigner under the guard of Gendarmes Blitz and Wetter to Berlin.

"A true copy.

"(Signed) HUMPFFENSTRUMPFFEN, Burgomaster.
BLINKHORN, Clerk of the Court."

From the Berlin "Tagblatt."

"The named Snooks, Bartholomæus Student, out of Smithfield, London, was brought hither in custody, from Frankfort-onthe-Oder; where, being tipsy, he had lost himself, allowing the train to go away without him. Snooks was handed over to the British Minister here, and will return to London as soon as any one will lend or give him funds for that purpose."

WHAT I REMARKED AT THE EXHIBITION

REMARKED that the scene I witnessed was the grandest and most cheerful, the brightest and most splendid show that eyes had ever looked on since the creation of the world;-but as everybody remarked the same thing, this remark is not of much value. I remarked, and with a feeling of shame, that I had long

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