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Prescribe all rules of right or wrong,
To th' long robe, and the longer tongue,
'Gainst which the world has no defence,
But our more powerful eloquence.
We manage things of greatest weight,
In all the world's affairs of state;
Are ministers of war and peace,
That sway all nations how we please.
We rule all churches, and their flocks,
Heretical and orthodox,

And are the heavenly vehicles
O' th' spirits in all conventicles:
By us is all commerce and trade
Improv'd, and manag'd, and decay'd;
For nothing can go off so well,
Nor bears that price, as what we sell.
We rule in every public meeting,
And make men do what we judge fitting;
Are magistrates in all great towns,
Where men do nothing but wear gowns,
We make the man of war strike sail,
And to our braver conduct veil,
And, when he 'as chas'd his enemies,
Submit to us upon his knees.
Is there an officer of state,
Untimely rais'd, or magistrate,
That 's haughty and imperious?
He's but a journeyman to us,
That, as he gives us cause to do 't,
Can keep him in, or turn him out.

We are your guardians, that increase,
Or waste your fortunes how we please;
And, as you humour us, can deal
In all your matters, ill or well.

Tis we that can dispose, alone,
Whether your heirs shall be your own,
To whose integrity you must,
In spite of all your caution, trust;
And, 'less you fly beyond the seas,
Can fit you with what heirs we please,

And force you t' own them, though begotten
By French valets, or Irish footmen.
Nor can the rigorousest course
Prevail, unless to make us worse;
Who still, the harsher we are us'd,
Are further off from being reduc'd,

And scorn t' abate, for any ills,
The least punctilios of our wills.
Force does but whet our wits to apply
Arts, born with us, for remedy,
Which all your politics, as yet,

Have ne'er been able to defeat:

For, when ye 've try'd all sorts of ways,
What fools d' we make of you in plays?
While all the favours we afford,

Are but to girt you with the sword,
To fight our battles in our steads,

And have your brains beat out o' your heads;
Encounter, in despite of Nature,

And fight, at once, with fire and water,
With pirates, rocks, and storms, and seas,
Our pride and vanity t' appease;

Kill one another, and cut throats,

For our good graces, and best thoughts;

To do your exercise for honour,

And have your brains beat out the sooner;
Or crack'd, as learnedly, upon

Things that are never to be known;
And still appear the more industrious,
The more your projects are preposterous;
To square the circle of the arts,

And run stark mad to show your parts;
Expound the oracle of laws,

And turn them which way we see cause;
Be our solicitors and agents,
And stand for us in all engagements.

And these are all the mighty powers
You vainly boast to cry down ours,
And, what in real value 's wanting,
Supply with vapouring and ranting:
Because yourselves are terrify'd,
And stoop to one another's pride,
Believe we have as little wit
To be out-hector'd, and submit:
By your example, lose that right
In treaties which we gain'd in fight;
And, terrified into an awe,
Pass on ourselves a Salique law;
Or, as some nations use, give place,
And truckle to your mighty race;
Let men usurp th' unjust dominion,
As if they were the better women.

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THE

GENUINE REMAINS

OF

SAMUEL BUTLER.

PREFACE.

It would be very unjust to the memory of a writer so much and so justly esteemed as Butler, to suppose it necessary to make any formal apology for the publication of these Remains. Whatever is the genuine performance of a genius of his class cannot fail of recommending itself to every reader of taste; and all that can be required from the publisher is, to satisfy the world that it is not imposed upon by false and spurious pretensions.

This has already been attempted in the printed proposals for the subscription; but as the perishing form of a loose paper seems too frail a monument to preserve a testimony of so much importance, it cannot, I hope, be judged impertinent to repeat the substance of what I observed upon that occasion-That the manuscripts, from which this work is printed, are Butler's own handwriting, as evidently appears from some original letters of his found amongst them-That, upon his death, they fell into the hands of his good friend Mr. W. Longueville, of the Temple; who, as the writer of Butler's life informs us, was at the charge of burying him-That, upon Mr. Longueville's decease, they became the property of his son, the late Charles Longueville, esq, who bequeathed them, at his death, to John Clarke, esq. and that this gentleman has been prevailed upon to part with them, and favoured me with an authority to insert the following certificate of their authenticity.

"I do hereby certify, that the papers now proposed to be published by Mr. Thyer are the original manuscripts of Mr. Samuel Butler, author of Hudibras, and were bequeathed to me by the late Charles Longueville, esq.

Walgherton, Cheshire, Nov. 20, 1754.

JOHN CLARKE."

Although, from evidence of such a nature, there cannot remain the least doubt about the genuineness of this work, and it be very certain, that every thing in it is the performance of Butler, yet it must be owned, at the same time, that there is not the same degree of perfection and exactness in all the compositions here printed. Some are finished with the utmost accuracy, and were fairly transcribed for the press, as far as can be judged from outward appearance; others, though finished, and wrote with the same spirit and peculiar vein of humour, which distinguishes him from all other writers, seem as if, upon a second review, he would have retouched and amended in some little particulars; and some few are left unfinished, or at least parts of them are lost or perished. This acknowledgment I think due to the poet's character and memory, and necessary to bespeak that candid allowance from the reader, which the posthumous works of every writer have a just claim to.

It is, I know, a common observation, that it is doing injustice to a departed genius to publish fragments, or such pieces as he had not given the last hand to.-Without controverting the justness of this remark in general, one may, I think, venture to affirm, that it is not to be extended to every particular case, and that a writer of so extraordinary and uncommon a turn as the author of Hudibras is not to be included under it. It would be a piece of foolish fondness to purchase at a great expense, or preserve with a particular care, the unfinished works of every tolerable painter; and yet it is esteemed a mark of fine taste to procure, at almost any price, the rough sketches and half-formed designs of a Raphael, a Rembrandt, or any celebrated master. If the elegant remains of a Greek or Roman statuary, though maimed and defective, are thought worthy of a place in the cabinets of the polite admirers of antiquity, and the learned world thinks itself obliged to laborious critics for handing down to us the half intelligible scraps of an ancient classic, no reason

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