up, and living with their mother and a maiden sister of Sir Thomas's at Friendly Hall. 4. Conscious of my unpolished gait, I have, for some time past, taken private lessons of a professor, who teaches "grown gentlemen to dance"; and though I at first found wondrous difficulty in the art he taught, my knowledge of mathematics was of prodigious use in teaching me the equilibrium of my body, and the due adjustment of the center of gravity to the five positions. 5. Having acquired the art of walking without tottering, and learned to make a bow, I boldly ventured to obey the baronet's invitation to a family dinner, not doubting but my new acquirements would enable me to see the ladies with tolerable intrepidity; but, alas! how vain are all the hopes of theory when unsupported by habitual practice! 6. As I approached the house, a dinner-bell alarmed my fears, lest I had spoiled the dinner by want of punctuality. Impressed with this idea, I blushed the deepest crimson, as my name was repeatedly announced by the several livery-servants who ushered me into the library, hardly knowing what or whom I saw. At my first entrance, I summoned up all my fortitude, and made my new-learned bow to Lady Friendly; but, unfortunately, in bringing my left foot to the third position, I trod upon the gouty toe of poor Sir Thomas, who had followed close at my heels, to be the nomenclator of the family. 7. The confusion this occasioned in me is hardly to be conceived, since none but bashful men can judge of my distress. The baronet's politeness by degrees dissipated my concern; and I was astonished to see how far good-breeding could enable him to suppress his feelings, and appear with perfect ease after so painful an accident. 8. The cheerfulness of her ladyship and the familiar chat of the young ladies insensibly led me to throw off my reserve and sheepishness, till, at length, I ventured to join the conversation, and even to start fresh subjects. The library being richly furnished with books in elegant bindings, I conceived Sir Thomas to be a man of literature, and ventured to give my opinion concerning the several editions of the Greek classics, in which the baronet's opinion exactly coincided with my own. 9. To this subject I was led by observing an edition of Xenophon in sixteen volumes, which (as I never before had heard of such a thing) greatly excited my curiosity, and I rose up to examine what it could be. Sir Thomas saw what I was about, and, as I supposed, willing to save me trouble, rose to take the book, which made me more eager to prevent him, and hastily laying my hand on the first volume, I pulled it forcibly; but, lo! instead of books, a board, which, by leather and gilding, had been made to look like sixteen volumes, came tumbling down, and, unluckily, pitched upon a Wedgwood inkstand on the table under it. 10. In vain did Sir Thomas assure me there was no harm. I saw the ink streaming from an inlaid table on the Turkey carpet, and, scarcely knowing what I did, attempted to stop its progress with my cambric handkerchief. In the height of this confusion, we were informed that dinner was served up; and I, with joy, perceived that the bell, which at first had so alarmed my fears, was only the half-hour dinner-bell. 11. I will not relate the several blunders which I made during the first course, or the distress occasioned by my being desired to carve a fowl, or help to various dishes that stood near me-spilling a sauce-boat, and knocking down a salt-cellar; rather let me hasten to the second course, when fresh disasters overwhelmed me quite. 12. I had a piece of rich, sweet pudding on my fork, when Miss Louisa Friendly begged to trouble me for a pigeon that stood near me. In my haste, scarce knowing what I did, I whipped the pudding into my mouth, hot as a burning coal. It was impossible to conceal my agony; my eyes were starting from their sockets. At last, in spite of shame and resolution, I was obliged to drop the cause of torment on my plate. 13. Sir Thomas and the ladies all compassionated my misfortune, and each advised a different application. One recommended oil, another water, but all agreed that wine was the best for drawing out fire; and a glass of sherry was brought me from the side-board, which I snatched up with eagerness; but, oh! how shall I tell the sequel? 14. Whether the butler by accident mistook or purposely designed to drive me mad, he gave me the strongest brandy, with which I filled my mouth, already flayed and blistered. Totally unused to every kind of ardent spirits, with my tongue, throat, and palate as raw as beef, what could I do? I could not swallow; and, clapping my hands upon my mouth, the liquor spurted through my fingers like a fountain, over all the dishes, and I was crushed by bursts of laughter from all quarters. In vain did Sir Thomas reprimand the servants, and Lady Friendly chide her daughters; for the measure of my shame and their diversion was not yet complete. 15. To relieve me from the intolerable state of perspiration which this accident had caused, without considering what I did, I wiped my face with that ill-fated handkerchief, which was still wet from the consequences of the fall of Xenophon, and covered all my features with streaks of ink in every direction. The baronet himself could not support the shock, but joined his lady in the general laugh; while I sprang from the table in despair, rushed out of the house, and ran home in an agony of confusion and disgrace which the most poignant sense of guilt could not have excited. FOR PREPARATION.-I. "Pitched upon a Wedgwood inkstand" (the famous earthen-ware invented by Josiah Wedgwood). "Salt-cellar" (11) (bad omen ?). II. Com-plex'-ion (-plěk ́shun), eôr'-di-al, çèn'-ter, o-pin'-ion (-yun), pig'-eon (pij'un), Xĕn'-o-phon. III. Change" their gates" so that each word will refer to one object. Meaning of ward in "homeward"? Should we say rose up" (9)? IV. Enamored, courted, timidity, estate, prodigious, equilibrium, intrepidity, theory, punctuality, fortitude, editions, classics, fomentation, caldron, palate, flayed, intolerable, poignant, nomenclator, "ardent spirits." V. How much is thirty thousand pounds in our money? "Wondrous difficulty" and "prodigious use"-are those expressions accurate and elegant here? What is there ridiculous in the assertion that his knowledge of mathematics helped him in learning to dance? and in the fact that the baronet's opinion coincided exactly with his (8)? Relate the several steps by which these adventures reach the climax of absurdity. VI.-ADIEU TO MY NATIVE LAND. 1. Adieu! adieu! my native shore The night-winds sigh, the breakers roar, Yon sun that sets upon the sea, 2. A few short hours, and he will rise Its hearth is desolate; Wild weeds are gathering on the wall; 3. Come hither, come hither, my little page: Why dost thou weep and wail? Or dost thou dread the billows' rage, But dash the tear-drop from thine eye! Our fleetest falcon scarce can fly More merrily along. 4. "Let winds be shrill, let waves roll high I fear not wave nor wind; Yet marvel not, Sir Childe, that I Am sorrowful in mind; For I have from my father gone, A mother whom I love, And have no friend save these alone, 5. "My father blessed me fervently, But sorely will my mother sigh |