holds forth the arts and practices of dedicators, the second of disputants and fustian poets, the third of profound, dark, and dirty party-writers. Lastly, for the critics, the goddess proposes (with great propriety) an exercise, not of their parts, but their patience, in hearing the works of two voluminous authors, one in verse, and the other in prose, deliberately read, without sleeping the various effects of which, with the several degrees and manners of their operation, are here set forth; till the whole number, not of critics only, but of spectators, actors, and all present, fall fast asleep; which naturally and necessarily ends the games.

BOOK II.

HIGH on a gorgeous seat, that far out, shone Henley's gilt tub, or Fleckno's Irish throne,

REMARKS.

Two things there are, upon the supposition of which the very basis of all verbal criticism is founded and supported: The first, that an author could never fail to use the best word on every occasion; the second, that a critic cannot chuse but know which that is. This being granted, whenever any word doth not fully content us, we take upon us to conclude, first, that the author could never have used it; and, secondly that he must have used that very one, which we conjecture, in its stead.

We cannot, therefore, enough admire the learned Scriblerus for his alteration of the text in the two last verses of the preceding book, which in all the former editions stood thus:

Hoarse thunder to its bottom shook the bog, And the loud nation croak'd, God save king Log. He has, with great judgment, transposed these two epithets; putting hoarse to the nation, and loud to the thunder; And this being evidently the true reading, he vouchsafed not so much as to mention the former; for which assertion of the just right of a critic he merits the acknowledgment of all sound commentators.

Ver. 2. Henley's gilt tub, The pulpit of a dissenter is usually called a tub; but that of Mr. Orator Henley was covered with velvet, and adorned with gold. He had also a fair altar, and over it this extraordinary inscription, "The Primitive Eucharist." See the history of this person,

hook iii.

Or that where on her Curlls the public pours,
All bounteous, fragrant grains and golden showers,
Great Cibber sate: the proud Parnassian sneer,
The conscious simper, and the jealous leer,
Mix on his look: all eyes direct their rays
On him, and crowds turn coxcombs as they gaze.
His peers shine round him with reflected grace, [10
New edge their dulness, and new bronze their face.
So from the Sun's broad beam, in shallow urns,
Heaven's twinkling sparks draw light, and point

their horns.

Not with more glee, by hands pontific crown'd, With scarlet hats wide-waving circled round, Rome in her Capitol saw Querno sit,

Thron'd on seven hills, the antichrist of wit.
And now the queen, to glad her sons, proclaims
By herald hawkers, high heroic games.

VARIATIONS.

Ver. 5. Great Tibbald nods.
Ver. 8. In the former edit.

On him, and crowds grow foolish as they gazo. The four next lines are added.

Ver. 17.

To grace this honour'd day, the queen proclaims. Ver. 19. She summons all her sons, &c.

REMARKS.

Ver. 3. Or that where on her Curlls the public pours,] Edmund Curll stood in the pillory at Charing-cross, in March 1727-8. "This" (saith Edmund Curll)" is a false assertion—I had indeed the corporal punishment of what the gentlemen of the long robe are pleased jocosely to call mounting the rostrum for one hour: but that scene of action was not in the month of March, but in February." (Curliad, 12mo, p. 19.) And of the history of his being tost in a blanket, he saith, "Here, Scriblerus! thou leesest in what thou assertest concerning the blanket: it was not a blanket, but a rug." p. 25. Much in the same manner Mr. Cibber remonstrated, that his brothers, at Bedlain, mentioned Book i. were not brazen, altered, as a trifle that no way altered the relationbut blocks; yet our author let it pass un

ship.

We should think (gentle reader) that we but ill performed our part, if we corrected not as well our own errours now, as formerly those of the solely the love of truth, not in the least any vainprinter. Since what moved us to this work, was glory, or desire to contend with great authors. And further, our mistakes, we conceive, will the rather be pardoned, as scarce possible to be avoided in writing of such persons and works as do ever shun the light. However, that we may not any way soften or extenuate the same, we give them thee in the very words of our antago nists; not defending, but retracting them from offended: For surely in this work, it hath our heart, and craving excuse of the parties been above all things our desire to provoke no Scribl.

man.

Ver. 15. Rome in her Capitol saw Querno sit,] Camillo Querno was of Apulia, who hearing the great encouragement which Leo X. gave to poets, travelled to Rome with a harp in his hand, and sung to it twenty thousand verses of a poem called and promoted to the bonour of the laurel; a jest Alexias. He was introduced as a buffoon to Leo, which the court of Rome and the Pope bimsel

All

gaze

with ardour: some a poet's name,

REMARKS.

30

Amid that area wide they took their stand,
Where the tali May-pole once o'erlook'd the
But now (so Anne and Piety ordain)
[Strand,
4 church collects the saints of Drury-lanc.
With authors, stationers obey'd the call
(The field of glory is a field for all).
Glory and gain, th' industrious tribe provoke;
And gentle Dulness ever loves a joke.
A poet's form she plac'd before their eyes,
And bade the nimblest racer seize the prize;
No meagre, muse-rid mope, adust and thin,
In a dun night gown of his own loose skin,
But such a bulk as no twelve bards could raise,
Twelve starveling bards of these degenerate days.
All as a partridge plump, full-fed and fair, [40
She form'd this image of well-body'd air;
With pert flat eyes she window'd well its head;
A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead;
And empty words she gave, and sounding strain,
But senseless, lifeless! idol void and vain!
Never was dash'd out at one lucky hit,
A fool, so just a copy of a wit;

So like, that critics said, and courtiers swore,
A wit it was, and call'd the phantom More.

REMARKS.

50

*See Life of C. C. chap. vi. p. 149. Ver. 34. And gentle Dulness ever loves a joke.] This species of mirth called a joke, arising from a malentendu, may be well supposed to be the delight of Dulness.

Ver. 47. Never was dash'd out, at one lucky hit,] Our author here seems willing to give some account of the possibility of Dulness making a wit (which could be done no other way than by chance). The fiction is the more reconciled to probability by the known story of Apelles, who being at a loss to express the foam of Alexander's horse, dashed his pencil in despair at the picture, and happened to do it by that fortunate stroke.

Ver. 50, and call'd the phantom More.] Curll, in his Key to the Dunciad, affirmed this to be James-Moore Smith, Esq; and it, is probable (considering what is said of him in the testimonies) that some might fancy our author obliged to represent this gentleman as a plagiary, or to pass for one himself. His case indeed was like that of 2 man I have heard of, who, as he was sitting in company, perceived his next neighbour had stolen his handkerchief; "Sir," (said the

thief, finding himself detected) "do not expose me, I did it for mere want; be so good but to take it privately out of my pocket again, and say nothing" The honest man did so, but the other cried out, "See, gentlemen, what a thief we have among us! look, he is stealing my handkerchief!"

Some time before, he had borrowed of Dr. Arbuthnot a paper called an Historico-physical account of the South Sea; and of Mr. Pope, the Memoirs of a Parish Clerk, which for two years he kept, and read to the rev. Dr. Young, F. Billers, Esq. and many others, as his own. Being applied to for them, he pretended they were lost, but there happening to be another copy of the letter, it came out in Swift and Pope's Miscellanies. Upon this. it seems, he was so far mistaken as to confess his proceeding by an endeavour to hide it: unguardedly printing (in the Daily Journal of April 3. 1728)" That the contempt which he and others had for those pieces," (which only himself had shown, and handed about as his own)" occasioned their being lost, and for that cause only not returned." A fact, of which as none but he could be conscious, none but he could be the publisher of it. The plagiarismns of this person gave occasion to the following epigram:

Moore always smiles whenever he recites;

He smiles (you think) approving what he writes.
And yet in this no vanity is shown;

A modest man may like what's not his own. This young gentleman's whole misfortune was too inordinate a passion to be thought a wit. Here is a very strong instance attested by Mr. Savage, son of the late carl Rivers; who having shown some verses of his in manuscript to Mr. Moore, wherein Mr. Pope was called first of the tuneful train, Mr. Moore the next morning sent to Mr. Savage to desire him to give those verses another turn, to wit, "That Pope might now be the first, because Moore had left him unrivalled, in turning his style to comedy." This was during the rehearsal of the Rival Modes, his first and only work; the town condemned it in the action, but he printed it in 1726-7, with this modest motto,

"Hic cœstus, artemque repono." The smaller pieces which we have heard attributed to this author are, An Epigram on the Bridge at Blenheim, by Dr. Evans: Cosmelia, by Mr. Pit, Mr. Jones, &c. The Mock Marriage of a mad Divine, with a Cl. for a Parson, by Dr. W. The Saw-pit, a Simile by a Friend. Certain Physical works on Sir James Baker; and some unowned Letters, Advertisements, and Epigrams against our author in the Daily Journal.

Notwithstanding what is here collected of the person inagined by Curll to be meant in this place, we cannot be of that opinion; since our poet had certainly no need of vindicating half a dozen verses to himself, which every reader had done for him; since the name itself is not spelled Moore, but More; and lastly, since the learned Scriblerus bas so well proved the contrary.

But lofty Lintot in the circle rose:
"This prize is mine; who tempt it are my foes;
With me began this genius, and shall end."
He spoke: and who with Lintot shall contend?

[60

Fear held them mute. Alone, untaught to fear Stood dauntless Curll; "Behold that rival here, The race by vigour, not by vaunts, is won; So take the hindmost, Hell," (he said) and run. Swift as a bard the bailiff leaves behind, He left huge Lintot, and out-stript the wind. As when a dab-chick waddles through the copse On feet and wings, and flies, and wades, and hops: So labouring on, with shoulders, hands, and head, Wide as a wind-mill all his fingers spread, With arms expanded Bernard rows his state, And left-legg'd Jacob seems to emulate.

REMARKS.

Ver. 50. the phantom More.] It appears from hence, that this is not the name of a real person, but fictitious. More from gos, stultus, popín, stultitia, to represent the folly of a plagiary. Thus Erasmus, Admonuit me Mori cognomen tibi, quod tam ad Moriæ vocabulum accedit quam es ipse a re alienus. Dedication of Moriæ Encomium to sir Tho. More; the farewell of which may be our author's to his plagiary, Vale, More! et moriam tuam gnaviter defende. Adieu! More! and be sure strongly to defend thy own folly.

Scribl.

Ver. 53. But lofty Lintot] We enter here upon the episode of the booksellers; persons, whose names being more known and famous in the learned world than those of the authors in this poem, do therefore need less explanation. The action of Mr. Lintot here imitates that of Dares in Virgil, rising just in this manner to lay hold on a bull. This eminent bookseller printed the Rival Modes before-mentioned.

Ver. 58. Stood dauntless Curll;] We come now to a character of much respect, that of Mr. Edmund Curll. As a plain repetition of great actions is the best praise of them, we shall only say of this eminent man, that he carried the trade many lengths beyond what it ever before had arrived at; and that he was the envy and admiration of all his profession. He possessed himself of a command over all authors whatever; he caused them to write what he pleased; they could not call their very names their own. He was not only famous among these; he was taken notice of by the state, the church, and the law, and received particular marks of distinction from each.

It will be owned that he is here introduced with all possible dignity: He speaks like the intrepid Diomede; he runs like the swift-footed Achilles; if he falls, 'tis like the beloved Nisus; and (what Homer makes to be the chief of all praises) he is favoured of the gods: he says but three words, and his prayer is heard; a goddess conveys it to the seat of Jupiter: though he loses the prize, he gains the victory; the great mother herself comforts him, she inspires him with expedients, she honours him with an immortal present (such as Achilles receives from

[70

Full in the middle way there stood a lake,
Which Curll's Corinna chanc'd that morn to make;
(Such was her wont, at early dawn to drop
Her evening cates before his neighbour's shop)
Here fortun'd Curll to slide; loud shout the band,
And Bernard! Bernard! rings through all the
Strand.

Obscene with filth the miscreant lies bewray'd,
Fall'n in the plash his wickedness had laid:
Then first (if poets aught of truth declare)
The caitiff vaticide conceiv'd a prayer.

Hear, Jove! whose name my bards and I adore,
As much at least as any gods, or more; 80
And him and his if more devotion warms,
Down with the Bible, up with the Pope's Arms.,
A place there is, betwixt earth, air, and seas,
Where, from ambrosia, Jove retires for ease.
There in his seat two spacious vents appear,
On this he sits, to that he leans his ear,
And hears the various vows of fond mankind;
Some beg an eastern, some a western wind:
All vain petitions, mounting to the sky,
With reains abundant this abode supply;
Amus'd he reads, and then returns the bills
Sign'd with that ichor which from gods distills.
In office here fair Cloacina stands,
And ministers to Jove with purest hands.

REMARKS.

90

Thetis, and Æneas from Venus), at once instructive and prophetical: after this he is unrivalled, and triumphant.

The tribute our author here pays him is a grateful return for several unmerited obligations: many weighty animadversions on the public affairs, and many excellent and diverting pieces on private persons, has he given to his name. If ever he owed two verses to any other, he owed Mr. Curll some thousands. He was every day extending his fame, and enlarging his writings: witness innumerable instances; but it shall sufnice only to mention the Court Poems, which he meant to publish as the work of the true writer, a lady of quality; but being first threatened, and afterwards punished for it by Mr. Pope, he generously transferred it from her to him, and ever since printed it in his name. The single time that ever he spoke to C. was on that affair, and to that happy incident he owed all the favour since received from him: so true is the saying of Dr. Sydenham, "that any one shall be, at some time or other, the better or the worse, for having but seen or spoken to a good or bad man."

Ver. 70. Curll's Corinna] This name, it seems, was taken by one Mrs. Thomas, who procured some private letters of Mr. Pope, while almost a boy, to Mr. Cromwell, and sold them without the consent of either of those gentlemen to Curll, who printed them in 12mo, 1727. He discovered her to be the publisher, in his Key, p. 11. We only take this opportunity of mentioning the manner in which those letters got abroad, which the author was ashamed of as very trivial things, full not only of levities, but of wrong judgments of men and books, and only excusable from the youth and inexperience of the writer.

Pope's Arms.] The Bible,. Curll's sign; the crossVer. 82. Down with the Bible, up with the keys, Lintot's.

With that she gave him (piteous of his case, Yet smiling at his rueful length of face)

REMARKS.

on this subject, yet he has found means to insert
their panegyric, and has made even Dulness out |
of her own mouth pronounce it. It must have
been particularly agreeable to him to celebrate
Dr. Garth; both as his constant friend, and as
he was his predecessor in this kind of satire. The
Dispensary attacked the whole body of apothe-
caries, a much more useful one undoubtedly than
that of the bad poets; if in truth this can be a
body, of which no two members ever agreed. It
also did, what Mr. Theobald says is unpardon-
able, draw in parts of private character, and in-
troduced persons independent of his subject. Much
more would Boileau have incurred his censure,
who left all subjects whatever, on all occasions,
to fall upon the bad poets (which, it is to be
feared, would have been more immediately his
concern.) But certainly next to commending
good writers, the greatest service to learning is to
expose the bad, who can only that way be made
of any use to it. This truth is very well set forth
in these lines addressed to our author.
The craven rook, and pert jackdaw,

(Though neither birds of moral kind)
Yet serve, if hang'd, or stuff'd with straw,
To show us which way blows the wind.
Thus dirty knaves, or chattering fools,
Strung up by dozens in thy lay,
Teach more by half than Dennis' rules,
And point instruction every way.
With Egypt's art thy pen may strive:
One potent drop let this but shed,
And every rogue that stunk alive,

Becomes a precious mummy dead,

Ver. 142. rueful length of face] "The deerepid person or figure of a man are no reflections upon his genius. An honest mind will love and esteem a man of worth, though he be deformed or poor. Yet the author of the Dunciad hath libelled a person for his rueful length of face !" Mist's Journal, June 8. This genius and man of worth, whom an honest miud should love, is Mr. Curll. True it is, he stood on the pillory, an incident which will lengthen the face of any man, though it were ever so comely, therefore is no reflection on the natural beauty of Mr. Curll. E1* as to reflections on any man's face or figure, Mr. Dennis saith excellently; Natural deformity comes not by our fault; it is often occasioned by calamities and diseases, which a man can no more help than a monster can his deformity. There is no one misfortune, and no one disease, but what all the rest of mankind are subject to.-But the deformity of this author is visible, present, lasting, unalterable, and peculiar to himself. "Tis the mark of God and Nature upon him, to give us warning that we should hold no society with bim, as a creature not of our original, nor of our species and they who have refused to take this warning which God and Nature has given them, and have, in spite of it, by a senseless presumption, ventured to be familiar with him, have severely suffered, &c, 'Tis certain his original is not from Adam, but from the Devil," &c.-Dennis, character of Mr. P. octavo, 1716.

shaggy tapestry, worthy to be spread, On Codrus' old, or Dunton's modern bed; Instructive work! whose wry-mouth'd portraiture Display'd the fates her confessors endure. Earless on high, stood unabash'd De Foe, And Tutchin flagrant from the scourge below.

REMARKS.

Admirably it is observed by Mr. Dennis against Mr. Law, p. 33. "That the language of Billingsgate can never be the language of charity, nor consequently of Christianity." I should else be tempted to use the language of a critic; for what is more provoking to a commentator than to behold his author thus pourtrayed? Yet I consider it really hurts not him! whereas to call some others dull, might do them prejudice with a world too apt to believe it. Therefore, though Mr. D. may call another a little ass or a young toad, far be it from us to call him a toothless lion or an old serpent. Indeed, had I written these notes (as was once my intent) in the learned language, I might have given him the appellations of balatro, calceatum caput, scurra in triviis, being phrases in good esteem and frequent usage among the best learned: but in our mother-tongue, were I to tax any gentleman of the Dunciad, surely it should be in words not to the vulgar intelligible; whereby Christian charity, decency, and good accord among authors, might be preserved,→→ Scribl.

The good Scriblerus here, as on all occasions, eminently shows his humanity. But it was far otherwise with the gentlemen of the Dunciad, whose scurrilities were always personal, and of that nature which provoked every honest man but Mr. Pope; yet never to be lamented, since they occasioned the following amiable verses:

While malice, Pope, denies thy page

Its own celestial fire;

While critics, and while bards in rage,
Admiring, won't admire:

While wayward pens thy worth assail,

And envious tongues decry:
These times though many a friend bewail,
These times bewail not I.

But when the world's loud praise is thine,
And spleen no more shall blame,
When with thy Homer thou shalt shine
In one establish'd fame:

When none shall rail, and every lay
Devote a wreathe to thee;
That day (for come it will), that day

Shall I lament to see.

Ver. 143. A shaggy tapestry,] A sorry kind of tapestry frequent in old inns, made of worsted, or some coarser stuff; like that which is spoken of by Donne-Faces as frightful as theirs who This imagery whipt Christ in old hangings. woven in it alludes to the mantle of Cloanthus, in Æn. v.

Ver. 144. John Dunton was a broken bookseller, and abusive scribbler; he writ Neck or Nothing,

a violent satire on some ministers of state; a libel on the duke of Devonshire and the bishop of Peterborough, &c.

scourge] John Tutchin, author of some vile verses, Ver. 148. And Tutchin flagrant from the and of a weekly paper called the Observator. He