The Sick Day Handbook: Strategies And Techniques for Faking It
Conari Press, 01.08.2006 - 140 Seiten
We’ve all been there. The alarm goes off, and the thought of your morning commute, a buttoned-up shirt, and e-mail makes you want to cry. You don’t want to go to work—YOU CAN’T. So what’s a 9-to-5er to do? KISS: Keep it Simple, Sickie. "I’m (sniffle) not feeling well, got this scratchy feeling in my throat (cough), think it’d be best for me to sit this one out, boss." Click. Congratulations, you just called in sick and were lying through your down comforter about it. Ahh, the thrill of deceit! Let’s be honest—at least briefly. Sometimes you just need a day. The Sick Day Handbook is your guide to freedom. In Ellie’s words, "This is a course in manipulation . . . This is about lying." Anyone who reads to "the end" and follows Bishop’s creative instructions will have earned their DDD: Doctor of Downright Devious. Filled with symptoms and prescriptions for common illnesses and proper stage-setting techniques to pull off the previously unthinkable Tuesday-after-a-long-weekend call-in (your pregnant friend had the baby!), you’ll have a pool of credible excuses just waiting to be used (scripts included). If you thought it couldn’t get any better—well, read on. Your boss will think you are such a moral person (what a doll . . . taking care of your elderly neighbor and her 3-legged cat all the while suffering from Vertigo and an IBS flare-up) he’ll practically beg you to take a day off! So what are you waiting for, nervous dialers? Get your slippers on—daytime television awaits you. Learn our tricks and no one will ever doubt your "flu" again!
Was andere dazu sagen - Rezension schreiben
The Basics Get Fake Sick Or What to Catch and How to Talk About It
Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood? People and Instances That Make Calling in Sick Easier
Mental Health or Lack Thereof Days
You Hate Your BossYour Boss Hates YouYou Hate EveryoneEveryone Hates You
Two Guarantees in Life Rarely Happen on the Weekends Death Taxes and Hair Appointments Special Invitations to Friends Beach Homes Midweek ...
Important HolidaysCorporate America Ignores ie St Patricks Day Any Victory by Any Sports Team You Support First Day of Hunting Season Person...
Miscellaneous Can Include Any or All of the Following Tattoos Minor Accidents Weather and Making the Most of Your Time
Scripts for Calling In PLUS Sick Day Hazards to Avoid AKA Dont Give Too Much or Too Little Information
The End Really
A Sick Day Test
afraid allergy asthma Basically beach believe better Big Fat Honkin birthday blah blah blah Bossypants call in sick Chapter Cheesy Company Mooch Conari Press cough coworkers Day of Hunting deceit drink e-mail eating Electroconvulsive Therapy fabulous fake sick day faker Fat Honkin Liar food allergies food poisoning free day Friday give going Hair Appointments happens Here's huge hunting season illness Important Holidays invented iPod laugh lies look lying Lyme disease Mary mental health day migraines minutes Monday morning nice office early bird Okay Patrick's Day personal day phone in sick pick rabies rain reason Saturday Scenario seaside home shock therapy shoes skydivers slacker sleep apnea someone sort stay home story stuff symptoms take a sick talk tattoo teratoma thing train station vacation Wake up late wear Wednesday week weekends Wendy wince