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And get by speaking truth of monarchs dead, What few can of the living, Ease and Bread. “ Lord, Sir, a mere Mechanic ! strangely low, “ And coarse of phrase,--your English all are fo. “ How elegant your Frenchmen?" Mine, d’ye mean? I have but one, I hope the fellow's clean. “ Oh! Sir, politely fo! nay, let me die, “ Your only wearing is your Padua-soy.” Not, Sir, my only, I have better still, And this you see is but my dishabille 115 Wild to get loose, his Patience I provoke, Mistake, confound, object at all he spoke. But as coarse iron, sharpen'd, mangles more, And itch most hurts when anger'd to a fore ; So when you plague a fool, 'tis still the curse, You only make the matter worse and worse.

He past it o’er; affects an easy smile At all my peevishness, and turns his style. He asks, “ What News ?”' I tell him of new Plays, New Eunuchs, Harlequins, and Operas. 125 He hears, and as a Still with simples in it, Between each drop it gives, stays half a minute, Loth to enrich me with too quick replies, By little, and by little, drops his lies.

129 Mere houshold trash! of birth-nights, balls, and shows, More than ten Hollinsheads, or Halls, or Stows. When the Queen frown'd, orsmild, heknows; and what A subtle Minister may make of that : Who fins with whom : who got his Pension rug, Or quicken'd a Reversion by a drug:

135 Whose


Who wastes in meat, in clothes, in horfe, he notes,
Who loveth whores.
He knows who hath fold his land, and who doth beg
A licence, old iron, boots, shoes, and egge-
Shells to transport;

shortly boys shall not play
At span-counter, or blow-point, but shall pay
Toll to some Courtier ; and wiser than all us,
He knows what Lady is not painted. Thus
He with home meats cloyes me. I belch, spue, spit,
Look pale and fickly, like a Patient, yet



Ver. 144. Why Turnpikes] In this recapitulation of modern abuses, he has imitated his Original with great fpirit. Amongst those which Dr. Donne mentions, is

" A licence, old iron, boots, shoes, and egge

Shells to transport;" by this, he means MONOPOLIES, the most unpopular abuse of power in his time. It continued down, through the reigns of Elizabeth, James, and Charles I. to the breaking out of the civil

In the year 1633 the four bodies of the Law entertained the Court with a magnificent mask. And one of their Antimasks was an ingenious ridicule on the abuse of Monopolies; which Mr. Whitlocke thus describes : “ In this Antimafque of Projectors," (says he) came a fellow with a bunch of Carrots on his head, and a Capon upon his fist, describing a Projector who begged a patent of Monopoly, as the first inventor of the art to feed Capons fat with Carrots, and that none but himself might make use of that invention, &c. Several other Projectors were in like manner personated in this Antimafque ; and it pleased the spectators the more, because by it an information was covertly given to the King of the unfitness and ridiculousness of these projects again the Law; and the Attorney Noy, who had most knowledge of them, had a great hand in this Antimasque of the Projectors." This exorbitancy became so general, that Ben Jonson makes a cheating procurer of Monopolies the chief chara&er in one of his plays; just as he had done a cheating Alchymift in another.



Whose place is quarter'd out, three parts in four,
And whether to a Bishop, or a Whore:
Who, having lost his credit, pawn'd his rent,
Is therefore fit to have a Government:
Who in the secret, deals in Stocks secure, 140
And cheats th' unknowing Widow and the Poor:
Who makes a Trust of Charity a Job,

gets an Act of Parliament to rob:
Why Turnpikes rise, and now no Cit nor Clown
Can gratis see the Country, or the town: 145
Shortly no lad shall chuck, or lady vole,
But some excising Courtier will have toll.
He tells what strumpet places sells for life,
What 'Squire his lands, what citizen his wife :
And last (which proves him wiser still than all) 150
What Lady's face is not a whited wall.

As one of Woodward's patients, fick, and fore, I puke, I nauseate,-yet he thrusts in more:



Ver. 151. What Lady's face, &c.] The Original is here very humorous. This torrent of scandal concludes thus,

66 And wiser than all us,

He knows what Lady the Reader expects it will conclude—what Lady is painted. No, just the contrary,

“ what Lady is not painted :” satirically insinuating, that this is a better proof of the goodness of his intelligence than the other. The Reader sees there is greater force in the use of these plain words, than in those which the Imitator employs. And the reason is, because the satire does not turn upon the odiousness of painting ; in which case, the terms of a painted wall had given force to the expreffion; but upon the free quency of it, which required only the simple mention of the thing.


He thrusts on more, and as he had undertook,
To say Gallo-Belgicus without book,
Speaks of all states and deeds that have been since
The Spaniards came to th' loss of Amyens.
Like a big wife, at sight of loathed meat,
Ready to travail : fo I sigh, and sweat
To hear this Makaron * talk : in vain, for yet,
Either my humour, or his own to fit,
He like a priviledg'd spie, whom nothing can
Discredit, libels now 'gainst each great man.
He names the price of ev'ry office paid;
He saith our wars thrive ill because delaid ;
That offices are intaild, and that there are
Perpetuities of them, lasting as far
As the last day; and that great Officers
Do with the Spaniards share, and Dunkirkers.

I more amaz'd than Circes prisoners, when
They felt themselves turn beasts, felt myself then
Becoming Traytor, and methought I saw
One of our Giant Statues ope his jaw,
To suck me in for hearing him: I found
That as burnt venomous Leachers do


found By giving others their fores, I might grow Guilty, and he free : Therefore I did show



Ver. 152. As one of Woodward's patients,] Alluding to the offects of his use of oils in bilious disorders, WARBURTON. * Whom we call an Ass, the Italians style Maccheroni.


Trims Europe's balance, tops the statesman's part,
And talks Gazettes and Post-boys o'er by heart. 155
Like a big wife at sight of loathsome meat
Ready to cast, I yawn, I figh, and sweat.
Then as a licens'd spy, whom nothing can
Silence or hurt, he libels the great Man ;
Swears ev'ry place entaild for years to come, 16
In sure succession to the day of doom :
He naines the price for ev'ry office paid,
And lays our wars thrive ill, because delay'd :
Nay hints, 'tis by connivance of the Court,
That Spain robs on, and Dunkirk's still a Port. 165
Not more amazement seiz'd on Circe's guests,
To see themselves fall endlong into beasts,
Than mine, to find a subject stay'd and wife
Already half turn'd traytor by surprize.
I felt th' infection slide from him to me, 170
As in the pox, some give it to get free;
And quick to swallow me, methought I saw
One of our Giant Statues ope its jaw.


In that nice moment, as another Lie
Stood just a-tilt, the Minister came by.
To him he flies, and bows, and bows again,
Then, close as Umbra, joins the dirty train.
Not Fannius' self more impudently near,
When half his nose is in his Prince's ear.

I quak'd


Ver. 178. Not Fannius' felf] Alluding to the circumstance which Pope never forgot or forgave, of Lord Hervey having in.



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