CHA P. XIII.

A PROJECT FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF THE

BATHOS.

ΤΗ

HUS have I (my dear Countrymen) with incredible pains and diligence, discovered the hidden fources of the Bathos, or, as I may say, broke open the Abyffes of this Great Deep. And having now established good and wholefome Laws, what remains but that all true moderns with their utmost might do proceed to put the fame in execution? In order whereto, I think I fhall in the fecond place highly deserve of my country, by propofing such a Scheme, as may facilitate this great end.

As our Number is confeffedly far fuperior to that of the enemy, there seems nothing wanting but unanimity among ourselves. It is therefore humbly offered, that all and every individual of the Bathos do enter into a firm affociation, and incorporate into One regular Body, whereof every member, even the meanest, will fome way contribute to the support of the whole; in like manner, as the weakest reeds, when joined in one bundle, become infrangible. To which end our Art ought to be put upon the fame foot with other Arts of this age. The vaft improvement of modern manufactures ariseth from their being divided into

feveral

feveral branches, and parcelled out to feveral trades For instance, in Clock-making one artist makes the balance, another the fpring, another the crownwheels, a fourth the cafe, and the principal workman puts all together: To this economy we owe the perfection of our modern watches, and doubtless we also might that of our modern Poetry and Rhetoric, were the feveral parts branched out in the like manner.

Nothing is more evident than that divers persons, no other way remarkable, have each a strong difpofition to the formation of fome particular Trope or Figure. Aristotle faith, that the Hyperbole is an ornament fit for young men of Quality; accordingly we find in those Gentlemen a wonderful propenfity towards it, which is marvellously improved by Travelling: Soldiers alfo and Seamen are very happy in the fame Figure. The Periphrafis or Circumlocution is the peculiar talent of Country Farmers; the Proverb and Apologue of old Men at their clubs; the Elipfis or Speech of half words, of Ministers and Politicians; the Apofiopefis of Courtiers; the Litotes or Diminution of Ladies, Whisperers, and Backbiters; and the Anadiplofis of common Cryers and Hawkers, who, by redoubling the fame words, perfuade people to buy their oysters, green hastings, or new ballads. Epithets

may

All this paragraph down to the words in it," House of Commons," is wonderfully, acute and fatirical, especially the mentioning the Bear-garden.

:

: may be found in great plenty at Billingsgate, Sarcafm and Irony learned upon the Water, and the Epiphonema or Exclamation frequently from the Bear-garden, and as frequently from the Hear him of the House of Commons.

Now each man applying his whole time and genius upon his particular Figure, would doubtlefs attain tò perfection; and when each became incorporated and fworn into the Society (as hath been propofed) a Poet or Orator would have no more to do but to fend to the particular Traders in each Kind, to the Metaphorift for his Allegories, to the Simile-maker for his Comparifons, to the Ironift for his Sarcafms, to the Apothegmatist for his Sentences, etc. whereby a Dedication or Speech would be compofed in a moment, the fuperior artist having nothing to do but to put together all the Materials.

I therefore propose that there be contrived with all convenient dispatch at the publick expence, a Rhetorical Cheft of Drawers, confifting of three Stories, the highest for the Deliberative, the middle for the Demonftrative, and the lowest for the Judicial. These shall be divided into Loci, or Places, being repofitories for Matter and Argument in the feveral kinds of oration or writing; and every Drawer fhall again be fubdivided into Cells, resembling those of Cabinets for Rarities. The apartment for Peace or War, and that of the Liberty of the Prefs, may in a very few days be filled with several arguments perfectly new; and

the

the Vituperative Partition will as easily be replenished with a most choice collection, entirely of the growth and manufacture of the prefent age. Every composer will foon be taught the use of this Cabinet, and how to manage all the registers of it, which will be drawn out much in the manner of those in an Organ.

The Keys of it must be kept in honest hands, by fome Reverend Prelate, or Valiant Officer, of unqueftioned Loyalty and Affection to every present Establishment in Church and State; which will fufficiently guard against any mischief which might otherwise be apprehended from it.

And being lodged in fuch hands, it may be at dif cretion let out by the Day, to several great Orators in both Houses; from whence it is to be hoped much Profit and Gain will alfo accrue to our Society.

34

CHAP. XIV."

HOW ΤΟ MAKE DEDICATIONS, PANEGYRICS, OR

2:

SATIRES, AND OF THE COLOURS OF HONOURABLE AND DISHONOURABLE.

row of what neceffity the foregoing Project may

Now

prove, will appear from this fingle confideration, that nothing is of equal confequence to the fuccefs of our Works as Speed and Dispatch. Great pity it is, that folid brains are not like other folid bodies, constantly endowed with a velocity in finking, proportioned to their heavinefs: For it is with the Flowers of the Bathos as with thofe of Nature, which if the careful gardener brings not hastily to market in the Morning, muft unprofitably perish and wither before Night. And of all our productions none is fo fhortlived as the Dedication and Panegryic, which are · often

h It will be difficult to find more knowledge of life, more wit more fatire, more good fenfe, in any paffage of equal length than is comprized in this fourteenth chapter. Perhaps Dryden's Dedication of the State of Innocence to the Dutchefs of York is a piece of the groffeft and most abject adulation that ever difgraced true genius, except indeed the nauseous and fulfome Dedication of such a man as Corneille of his Horace to Cardinal Richlieu, after this proud churchman had treated him fo injuriously in the affair of the Cid. If it be thought that I fpeak difrespectfully of fuch a great minifter as Richlieu, I beg leave to fay, that one fuch poet as Corneille is of more real value than an hundred Richlieus, in the eyes of those who regard merits more than stations.