Happy in worrying A poor defenceless harmless buck The horse and rider wet as muck From his high consequence and wisdom stooping, Where sat a poor old woman and her pot. The wrinkled, blear-eyed good old granny, In tempting row the naked dumplings lay, Like lightning spoke: What's this? what's this? whes, Tiven ?? Then taking up a dumpling in his hand, His eyes with admiration did expand; And oft did majesty the dumpling grapple: he cried 'Tis monstrous, monstrous hard, indeed! What makes it, pray, so hard?' The dame replied, Very astonishing indeed! strange thing!'- 'Sir, there's no seam,' quoth she; 'I never knew 'No!' cried the staring monarch with a grin; 'How, how the devil got the apple in?' On which the dame the curious scheme revealed Which made the Solomon of Britain start; There did he labour one whole week to shew Whitbread's Brewery visited by their Majesties. Full of the art of brewing beer, The monarch heard of Whitbread's fame; 6 Quoth he unto the queen: My dear, my dear, Whitbread hath got a marvellous great name. Charly, we must, must, must see Whitbread brewRich as us, Charly, richer than a Jew. Shame, shame we have not yet his brew-house seen!' Muse, sing the stir that happy Whitbread made: He should not charm enough his guests divine, Dogs, cats, and chairs, and stools were tumbled over, Amidst the Whitbread rout of preparation, To treat the lofty ruler of the nation. Now moved king, queen, and princesses so grand, Who sometimes swills his beer and grinds his meat Lord Aylesbury, and Denbigh's lord also, Thus was the brew-house filled with gabbling noise, Devoured the questions that the king did ask; In different parties were they staring seen, Wond'ring to think they saw a king and queen! Behind a tub were some, and some behind a cask. Some draymen forced themselves-a pretty luncheonInto the mouth of many a gaping puncheon: And through the bung-hole winked with curious eye, To view and be assured what sort of things Were princesses, and queens, and kings, For whose most lofty station thousands sigh! And lo! of all the gaping puncheon clan, Few were the mouths that had not got a man! Now majesty into a pump so deep And now his curious majesty did stoop And lo! no single thing came in his way, That, full of deep research, he did not say, 'What's this? hae, hae? What's that? What's this? What's that So quick the words too, when he deigned to speak, As if each syllable would break its neck. Thus, to the world of great whilst others crawl, Things that too oft provoke the public scorn; Now boasting Whitbread serious did declare, Placed side by side, to reach along to Kew; On which the king with wonder swiftly cried: 'What if they reach to Kew. then, side by side, What would they do, what, what, placed end to end?' To whom, with knitted calculating brow, The man of beer most solemnly did vow, Almost to Windsor that they would extend: On which, quick turning round his haltered head, Now did the king for other beers inquire, This was a puzzling disagreeing question, Now majesty, alive to knowledge, took With gilded leaves of ass's-skin so white, MEMORANDUM, A charming place beneath the grates MEM. 'Tis hops that give a bitterness to beer, Hops grow in Kent, says Whitbread, and elsewhere. QUARE. Is there no cheaper stuff? where doth it dwell? MEM. To try it soon on our small beer- MEM. To remember to forget to ask Old Whitbread to my house one day. MEM. Not to forget to take of beer the cask, Now, having pencilled his remarks so shrewd, To Whitbread now deigned majesty to say: And that, an 't please your majesty, are grains.' 'Grains, grains,' said majesty, 'to fill their crops? Grains, grains ?-that comes from hops-yes, hops, hops, hops Here was the king, like hounds sometimes, at fault 'Sire,' cried the humble brewer, 'give me leave Your sacred majesty to undeceive; Grains, sire, are never made from hops, but malt.' 'True,' said the cautious monarch with a smile, Now did the king admire the bell so fine, On which the bell rung out-how very proper !- Exclaimed: 'O heavens! and can my swine Heavens! can my pigs compare, sire, with pigs royal ?' On which the brewer bowed, and said: Good God!' Significant of wonder and of bliss, E. L. vol. v.-3 Who, bridling in her chin divine, And then her lowest curtsy made For such high honour done her father's swine. Now did his majesty, so gracious, say 'Whitbread, d'ye nick the excisemen now and then? 'D'ye hunt?-hae, hunt? No no, you are too old; 'Whitbread, d' ye keep a coach, or job one, pray? Job, job, that's cheapest; yes, that's best, that's best. Hae, Whitbread? You have feathered well your nest. Now Whitbread inward said: May I be cursed Then searched his brains with ruminating eye; Lord Gregory. Burns admired this ballad of Wolcot's, 'Ah ope, Lord Gregory, thy door, A midnight wanderer sighs; "Who comes with woe at this drear night, and wrote another on the same subject. 'But shouldst thou not poor Marion know, Epigram on Sleep. Thomas Wharton wrote the following Latin epigram to be placed under the statute of Somnus, in the garden of Harris, the philologist, and Wolcot translated it with a beauty and felicity worthy of the original. Somne levis, quanquam certissima mortis imago Come, gentle sleep! attend thy votary's prayer, |