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knocked at the door, which was opened by a servant girl. He informed her he wanted her master. "He is gone out, sir," said she. "Then your mistress will do," said the gentleman. "She," said the girl, "is gone out too." My business is of consequence," returned he; "is your master's son at home?" "No, sir," replied the girl, "he is gone "That's unlucky indeed," replied he; "but perhaps it may not be long before they return; I will step in and sit by your fire." "Oh, sir," said the girl," the fire is gone out too." Upon which the gentleman bade her inform her master, that he did not expect to be received so coolly.

out."

Matrimony.

Bishop Andrews, the favourite preacher of King James the First, in his sermon on matrimony, says that ten women are driven to the altar for one that is led to it.

Difference between Whigs and Tories.

"Pray, Monsieur l'Ambassadeur," said the late King of France one day at his levee, "what do you take to be the difference between a Whig and a Tory?" "Please your majesty," was the reply, "I conceive the difference to be merely nominal; the Tories are Whigs when they want places, and the Whigs are Tories when they have got them."

The Pretender's Health.

There was not much wit, but there was some good humour in the reply George II. made to a lady, who, at the first masquerade his majesty was at in Eng land, invited him to drink a glass of wine at one of the beaufets. With this he readily complied, and

the lady filling a bumper, said, “Here, mask, the Pretender's health;" then filling another glass, presented it to the king, who, receiving it with a smile, replied, "I drink with all my heart to the health of all unfortunate princes."

Washington.

The following incident is certainly important, and there are doubtless others, showing a sense of the love and fear of God in the hearts of the fathers of our country, and also those exhibiting a special Providence in directing the events of the revolution, which have not appeared in any history.

The surprise and capture of the Hessian troops at Trenton, is a well-remembered event in our revolutionary history. It occurred at the darkest period of the struggle, and it was in the hour when the hopes of the most sanguine had almost failed, that God so singularly interposed to save our land.

On that eventful morning, Colonel Biddle, of Philadelphia, rode by the side of Washington, and it was from his oft-repeated relation of the circumstances of that contest that we have derived our knowledge of the following interesting fact:

The American troops crossed the Delaware about nine miles above Trenton, and marched in two divisions upon the town. This unexpected approach and vigorous attack of foes supposed to be dispirited and defeated, was completely successful; and although the floating ice in the river had delayed the crossing, and it was eight o'clock when Washington entered the village, the victory was gained with an ease altogether unexpected. In a few minutes all the outguards were driven in, and the American forces having surrounded the town, resistance be

came fruitless, and the enemy surrendered. When this event was communicated to Washington, he was pressing forward, and animating his troops by his voice and example. Instantly checking his horse, and throwing the reins upon his neck, the venerable man raised his hands and eyes to heaven, and thus silently and emphatically acknowledged whence the victory had come, and what aid he had implored to guard his beloved country in the perilous conflict. It was not until the lapse of about a minute that he paused from his devout thankfulness, and ordered the troops to stand to their arms.

No Pay, No Pray.

When Jonas Hanway once advertised for a coachman, he had a great number of applicants. One of them he approved of, and told him, if his character answered, he would take him on the terms which they had agreed upon; "But," said he, "my good fellow, as I am rather a particular man, it may be proper to inform you, that every evening, after the business in the stable is done, I shall expect you to come to my house for a quarter of an hour to attend family prayer; to this, I suppose, you can have no objection?" Why, as to that, sir," replied the fellow, "I does not see much to say against it, but I hope you'll consider it in my wages."

More than I can Swallow.

An illustrious person told Mr. D

—, of Cthat he had drunk two bottles of champagne and six of port. "That," said Mr. D, "is more than I can swallow ;" and if the wit was relished, never forgiven.

was

Giving up the Ghost.

A player performing the Ghost in Hamlet very badly, was hissed; after bearing it a good while, he put the audience in good humour by stepping forward, and saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am extremely sorry that my humble endeavours to please are unsuccessful; but if you are not satisfied, I must give up the Ghost."

No Voice in the City.

A gentleman passing the evening among some friends in the city, was requested, in his turn, to favour the company with a song; he politely dcclined it, alleging that he was so indifferent a performer, that any attempt of his would rather disgust than entertain. One of the company, however, asserted that he had a very good voice; and said, he had frequently had the pleasure of hearing him sing. "That may be," resumed the other, "but as I am not a freeman, I have no voice in the city."

A Double Entendre.

The keeper of a paltry Scotch alehouse having on his sign, after his name, the letters M. D. F. R. S., a physician, who was a fellow of the Royal Society, asked him how he presumed to affix these letters to his name. " Why, sir," said the publican, "I have as good a right to them as you have." "What do you mean, you impudent scoundrel ?" replied the doctor. "I mean, sir," returned the other, "that I was DrumMajor of the Royal Scots Fusileers."

As Lady B

Such Sparks as You.

L- was presiding one evening at the tea-table, one of her ruffles caught the flame

of the tea-lamp, and was burned before it could be extinguished. Lord M, who was one of the party, and thought to be witty on the accident, reinarked, "He did not think her ladyship so apt to take fire." Nor am I, my lord," replied she with great readiness," from such sparks as you."

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Actor of One Part.

A little after Lord Chatham (then Mr. Pitt) had changed his political sentiments in regard to the protection of Hanover, in the course of replying one day in the House of Commons to Sir Francis Blake Delaval, he threw out some sarcastical reflexions on him for appearing on the stage; upon which the other got up, and acknowledged it was true: youth and whim led him once to amuse himself that way; but he could safely lay his hand on his heart and say, "He never acted but one part."

Sheridan and the Play-Writer.

During Sheridan's management of Drury Lane, an author had produced a play which he offered to Covent Garden, saying, that it would make Drury Lane a splendid desert. His play failed; but soon after, he prevailed on a friend to present a new one to Sheridan. "No! no!" exclaimed the latter, "I can't agree to connive at putting his former threat into effect."

The Esquimaux Woman.

Major Cartwright used to relate many curious particulars of this woman: among others, that on being shown the interior of St. Paul's she was so struck with astonishment and awe, that her knees