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Foote and the Earl of Kelly.

When the Earl of Kelly paid Foote a visit at his country villa, that celebrated wit took him into his garden, and, alluding to the beaming honours of his lordship's face, said, "Pray, my lord, look over the wall upon my cucumber bed; it has had no sun this year."

The Greatest Bore in London.

When Sir William Curtis returned from his voyage to Italy and Spain, he called to pay his respects to Mr. Canning, at Gloucester Lodge. Among other questions, Sir William said, "But, pray, Mr. Canning, what do you say to the tunnel under the Thames?" "Say," replied the secretary, "why, I say it will be the greatest bore London ever had, and that is saying a great deal."

Sheridan upon Regularity, with Notes by the
Earl of Guilford.

Just about the time that Mr. Sheridan took his house in Saville Row, he happened to meet Lord Guilford in the street, to whom he mentioned his change of residence, and also announced a change in his habits. " Now, my dear lord, every thing is carried on in my house with the greatest regularity; every thing, in short, goes like clockwork." Ah," replied Lord Guilford, “ tick, tick, tick, I suppose.”

A Compliment Quizzed,

66

A gentleman walking in the fields with a lady, picked a blue bell, and taking out his pencil, wrote

the following lines, which, with the flower, he pre

sented to the lady.

This pretty flower, of heavenly hue,
Must surely be allied to you;

For you,

dear girl, are heavenly too.

To which the lady replied:

If, sir, your compliment be true,
I'm sorry that I look so blue.

The Effects of no Government.

Colonel Barré, the celebrated friend of the rights of America in the British Parliament, in travelling through this country, some years previous to the revolution, paid a visit to the Governor of Connecticut, of whom he made inquiries respecting the constitution of the country. His Excellency informed him that, literally speaking, there was no government whatever; that as to his power, he was a mere cipher; that the legislature met only to wrangle and do nothing; in a word, it was a mere anarchy and confusion, whenever any active step was to be taken; and that, upon the whole, the people generally governed themselves, every man doing as he pleased. The conversation changed; and the colonel spoke of the face of the country; the improvements everywhere visible; and the universal appearance of plenty and happiness in the fields, dwellings, and clothing of the people. The governor assented, and said he believed there was hardly a country in the world that excelled it in all those particulars. Such, said the colonel, were the effects of the no government he had just expatiated upon.

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Mr. Jekyll.

Mr. Jekyll being told that Mr. Raine the barrister was engaged as counsel for a Mr. Hay, inquired, if Raine was ever known to do good to Hay?

Anchovies and Capers.

A few years ago, an Irish officer, who belonged to a regiment in garrison at Malta, returned to England on leave of absence; and, according to the custom of travellers, was fond of relating the wonders he had scen. Among other things, he one day, in a public coffee-room, expatiated on the excelleney of living in general among the military. "But," said he, "as for the Anchovies-by the powers, there is nothing to be seen like them in the known world!" "Why, that is a bold assertion," said a gentleman present; "for I think England can boast of that article in as great perfection as any country, if not greater." "My dear sir," replied the Irishman, "you'll pardon me for saying that your opinion is founded on sheer ignorance of the fact;-excuse my plain speaking; but you'd soon be of my way of thinking, if you saw the fruit growing so beautiful and large, as I have seen it many's the day." "Well done, Pat," exclaimed his opponent; "the fruit growing so beautiful and large!—on a tree, I suppose? Come, you won't beat that, however." "Do you doubt the word of a gentleman, sir?" retorted the officer. "I doubt the fact, sir," answered the gentleman. "Then, by the powers! you only display your own want of understanding, by so doing and I take it very uncivil of you; for I've seen the anchovies grow upon the trees with my own eyes, many's the hundred times; and beautiful's

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