a situation where your diet and regimen will be such, that in a short time your health will be perfectly restored."

"I wish I could."

A gentleman, travelling in a long lane, where his horse could hardly get through the mire, met a peasant, of whom he inquired the way to a certain place. Straight forward," said the man, "you cannot go out of your way." Faith, I fear so," said the querist; "I wish I could!"

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Lenthall, the Speaker.

In the time of the Long Parliament, Sandys, a gentleman of bold spirit, was examined before the House, when Lenthall, the Speaker, put some ridiculous and impertinent questions to him, asking, at last, what countryman he was? "Of Kent," said Sandys; "and pray, may I demand the same of you?" "I am out of the west," said Lenthall. “By my troth," replied Sandys, "so I thought, for all the wise men come out of the east."

Exhumation of the Regicides.

In the crowd which attended the exhumation of Cromwell, Ireton, and Bradshaw, after the Restoration, some one exclaimed, "Who would have ever thought to see Cromwell hanged for high treason?” "Oh, sir," said another, "this is nothing strange: see," he added, pointing to Bradshaw, "there is a president for it."

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Doctor Lathrop.

Doctor Lathrop was a man of genuine piety, but much opposed to the noisy zeal that seeketh "to be known of men.”

A young divine, who was much given to enthusiastic cant, one day said to him, “Do you suppose you have any real religion?" "None to speak of," was the excellent reply.

Sir Isaac Newton.

Sir Isaac Newton was once riding over Salisbury Plain, when a boy keeping sheep called to him, "Sir, you had better make haste on, or you will get a wet jacket." Newton, looking round and observing neither clouds nor a speck on the horizon, jogged on, taking very little notice of the rustic's information. He had made but a few miles, when a storm, suddenly arising, drenched him to the skin. Surprised at the circumstance, and determined, if possible, to ascertain how an ignorant boy had attained a precision of knowledge of the weather, of which the wisest philosophers would be proud, he rode back, wet as he was. "My lad," said Newton, "I'll give thee a guinea if thou wilt tell ine how thou canst foretell the weather so truly." "Will ye, sir? I will then ;" and the boy, scratching his head, and holding out his hand for the guinea; "Now, sir," having received the money, and pointing to his sheep, "when you see that black ram turn his tail towards the wind, 'tis a sure sign of rain within an hour." "What!" exclaimed the philosopher, "must I, in order to foretell the weather, stay here and watch which way that black ram turns his tail?" "Yes, sir." Off rode Newton, quite satisfied with his discovery.

Good Substitute for Law.

"I defy you," said a stubborn culprit to a justice during the Civil War; "there is no law now." "Then," said the justice gravely to his servants, "if there be no law, bring me a rope." The knave instantly knocked under,

Charles II.

Charles the Second laid it down as a rule, that in his convivial parties the king was always absent. Being one night in a select party of this kind, one of his courtiers, who had contributed a good deal to his mirth, ventured to ask him for a place. Charles, though he liked the man as a companion, was yet unwilling to break through a fixed rule; and he therefore quickly replied,-" You may depend upon it, I will speak to the king to-morrow about it."

General Washington's Motion.

In 1817, in a debate in the house of Delegates, on the bill relative to a map of Virginia, in which something was said of military roads, Mr. Mercer L. related and applied an anecdote of General Washington, which he had received from a member of the Convention that formed the Constitution of the United States. The subject of power to be given the new Congress, relative to a standing army, was on the tapis. A member made a motion that Congress should be restricted to a standing army not exceeding five thousand at any one time. Gen. Washington, who, being chairman, could not offer a motion, whispered to a member from Mary.

land, to amend the motion, by providing that no foreign enemy should invade the United States at any one time with more than three thousand troops.

Peter the Great.

A Russian officer, named Valensky, who had a command in the Persian expedition, had once been beaten by the Emperor Peter's order, mistaking him for another. "Well," said Peter, "I am sorry for it, but you will deserve it one day or other, and then remind me that you are in arrears with me;" which accordingly happened upon that very expedition, and he was exeused.

Judge Jeffries.

Jeffries, examining an old fellow with a long beard, told him, he supposed he had a conscience quite as long as that natural ornament of his visage. "Does your lordship measure consciences by beards?" said the man; "that is strange, seeing you are yourself shaven."

Sheridan and the Westminster Voter.

As Mr. Sheridan was coming up to town in one of the public coaches, for the purpose of canvassing Westminster, at the time when Paull was his opponent, he found himself in company with two Westminster electors. In the course of the conversation, one of them asked the other to whom he meant to give his vote? When his friend replied, "To Paull, certainly; for though I think him but a shabby sort of fellow, I would vote for any one rather than that rascal Sheridan !"

"Do you know Sheridan?" asked the stranger.

"Not I, sir," answered the gentleman, should I wish to know him."

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The conversation dropped here; but when the party alighted to breakfast, Sheridan called aside the one gentleman, and said,—

"Pray, who is that very agreeable friend of yours? He is one of the pleasantest fellows I ever met with, and I should be glad to know his name?" "His name is Mr. T : he is an eminent lawyer, and resides in Lincoln's Inn Fields."

Breakfast over, the party resumed their seats in the coach; soon after which, Sheridan turned the discourse to the law. "It is," said he, "a fine profession. Men may rise from it to the highest eminence in the state; and it gives vast scope to the display of talent: many of the most virtuous and noble characters recorded in our history have been lawyers. I am sorry, however, to add, that some of the greatest rascals have been lawyers; but of all the rascals of lawyers I ever heard of, the greatest is one Mr. T- I who lives in Lincoln's

Inn Fields."

"I am Mr. T

," said the gentleman. "And I am Mr. Sheridan," was the reply.

The jest was instantly seen; they shook hands, and, instead of voting against the facetious orator, the lawyer exerted himself warmly in promoting his election.

Names alter Things.

A few years since, a tract of land belonging to North Carolina, was ceded to South Carolina. A young lady very wisely observed, "I am sorry father's plantation is in that tract; for every body says North Carolina is more healthy than South Carolina."