Although St. Pierre, a knowing chap, For having boldly set his foot on 36 The foolish trash of Isaac Newton. See Studies of Nature,' by St. Pierre, in which that scheming philosopher has, with wonderful adroitness, swept away the cobweb calculations of one Isaac Newton. Indeed I never much admired the writings of the last mentioned gentleman, for the substantial reasons following. In the first place, the inside of a man's noddle must be better furnished than that of St. Pierre, or he will never be able to comprehend them. 6 Secondly, it would be impossible to manufacture a system, like that of St. Pierre, accounting for the various phenomena of nature, in a new and simple method, if one were obliged to proceed, like Newton, in his Principia,' in a dull, plodding, mathematical manner, and prove, or even render probable, the things he asserts. But by taking some facts for granted, without proof, omitting to mention such as militate against a favourite theory, we may, with great facility, erect a splendid edifice of airy nothings,' founded on hypotheses without foundation. The said Isaac had taken it into his head that the earth's equatorial was longer than its polar diameter. This he surmised from the circumstance of a pendulum vibrating slower near the H Contriv'd a scheme, which very nice is, equator than near the pole, and finding that the centrifugal force of the earth would not fully account for the difference between the time of the vibrations at Cayenne and at Paris. This, with other reasons equally plausible, led him to suppose that the earth was flatted near the poles, in the form of an oblate spheroid, and that a degree of latitude would, of consequence, be greater near the pole than at the equator. Actual admeasurement coincided with that conclusion. The Abbe St. Pierre, however, possessing a most laudable ambition to manufacture tides from polar ices, and thus to overturn Sir Isaac's theory relative to the moon's influence in producing those phenomena, and finding it somewhat convenient for that purpose to place his poles at a greater distance from the center of gravity than the equator, accordingly took that liberty. He likewise had another substantial reason therefor. Unless his polar diameter was longer than his equatorial, the tides, being caused by the fusion of polar ices, must flow up hill. 6 He therefore drew a beautiful diagram with which a triangle would, (according to the scheme of the author of The Loves of the Triangles,' im' proved from Dr. Darwin's 'Loves of the Plants'), certainly fall in love at first sight. (See page xxxiv. Pref. Studies of Nature.) In displaying his geometrical skill in this diagram, however, he took care to forget that there was some little dif And fed old Ocean's tub with fountains, Though Godwin (bless him) told us how ference between an oblong and an oblate spheroid. That flatting the earth's surface, either in a direction perpendicular or parallel to the poles, would increase the length of a degree of latitude by decreasing the earth's convexity.-That neither an oblate, nor an oblong spheroid was quite so spherical as a perfect sphere. This was very proper, because such facts would have been conclusive against his new Theory of the Tides. 37 To make a clever sort of plough. If you wish, gentlemen, to know any thing farther relative to this instinctive plough, you will take the trouble to consult Mr. Godwin's ' Political Justice,' in which you will find almost as many sublime and practicable schemes for ameliorating the condition of man, as in this very erudite work of my own. Let it not be inferred, from my not enlarging upon the present and other schemes of this philosopher, that I would regard him as one whit inferior to any other modern philosopher existing, not even excepting his friend Holcroft; but the necessity of expatiating on the redundancy Though Price's projects are so clever, And break our heads against a post! Though Darwin, thinking to dismay us, And form'd, with horrid quakes t' assist him, of Mr. Godwin's merits, is totally precluded by the unbounded fame which his chaste productions have at length acquired among the virtuous and respectable classes in community. 38 They show us how to live for ever. The learned Dr. Price, in his Tracts on Civil 'Liberty,' assures us that such sublime discoveries will be hereafter made by men of science (meaning such as Dr. Caustic), that it will be possible to cure the disease of old age, give man a perpetual sublunary existence, and introduce the millenium, by natural causes. 39 His new exploded solar system. • Through all the realms the kindling ether runs, And the mass starts into a million suns; • Earths round each sun with quick explosions burst, And second planets issue from the first; These wights, when taken altogether, Bend, as they journey with projectile force, 'In bright ellipses their reluctant course; 'Orbs wheel in orbs, round centers centers roll, • And form, self-balanc'd, one revolving whole.' Botanic Garden, Canto i. This sublime philosopher has been most atrociously squibbed in the following performance, which I can assure you, gentlemen, is not mine; and, if I could meet with the author, I would teach him better than to bespatter my favourite with the filth of his obloquy. 'Lines on a certain Philosopher, who maintains 'that all continents and islands were thrown from the sea by volcanoes; and that all animal life 'originally sprang from the exuvia of fishes. His 'family arms are three scallop shells, and his 'motto "Omnia e Conchis." FROM atoms in confusion hurl'd, • Maintain'd that all was accidental, Whether corporeal powers, or mental; • And in this hodge-podge of stark nonsense, |