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394. He delighted much in broad and obscene wit,
and hiss'd at any thing too deep for him. 395. His memory, sieve like, would neither retain the
flower, nor part with the bran. 396. He had seen but the out-side of the world, and
men; and conceiv'd of 'em according to their
apparent glitter. 397. He was always wanting what he had not, and
grew sick on't when he had it ; the levity of youth continually pushing him from one vain desire to another, in a regular vicissitude, and succession of craving and satiety.
He was rash and inconsiderate, neither consulting the reason or nature of things ; but wholly abandon'd
himself to the transports of passion and appetite. 399.
He lov'd and hated with the same inflammation ; and when the heat was over, was cool enough to
friends and enemies. 400. Father. Some fops measure their deserts by
the bulk of their estates : Others pretend to good · breeding, from being well dress’d and equipag'd; and assert a claim to brains, for their accuracy in modes and fashions; tho' at the same time their
manners are corrupted, and minds infected. 401.
Youth being guided by sense, nature, and passion, is indiscreet, hot, outragious, heady, violent, vain,
inconstant, and unsettled : For the sense being easily tired with the enjoyment of its objects; and the soul made for something better, not finding satisfaction in things sensible, conceives a fastidiousness of the present, and desire to change. So that considering how ungovernable the passions and sallies of youth are, when licens'd and indulg'd, what swarms of caprices and fancies invest this season of life, which wou'd wither in the embrio, unless enliven'd with wealth, which hatches and fledges the chimeras, it's a real hardship for a young man to be trusted with himself and his estate, before those years that give maturity to his
reason and judgment. 402.
“How vain is youth, how ripe to be undone,
When rich betimes, and made a man too soon." 403. When young Phaetons rule the day, destruction
comes before night. 404 Or, in Solomon's words, the prosperity of fools
shall destroy them.
But go on.
1 Prov. I. 32.
405. Son. About twelve Flatterer taking up all the
money left on the table, whisper'd Youth to slip
out and discharge the reckoning, which he did. 406. Soon after in came Zany the Vintner, with an
all's paid, and you're welcome, gentlemen : Will
you please to accept of my bottle ? 407. By no means, quoth FLATTERER, unless you'll
score it, for it's the 'squire's birth-day, and he shall
treat to night. 408. Therefore, come Zany, a bumper, his health,
and then a song.
That wine be despises,
Whilst we drink claret and sing,
Like birds in the spring,
But be sure, over night
If this dog do you bite,
Soon as out of your bed,
To settle your head,
Then squire began to talk of ginets, barbs, coursers, hunters, galloways, stallions, phillies, &c. describing the hollows above their brows, their champers, narrils, mouths, necks, manes, withers, backs, cruppers, bellies, fore-feet, hinder-legs, muscles, hams, pasterns, joints, hoofs, coats, colours, &c. After which he gave us an inventory of his terriers, hounds, spaniels, setting-dogs, water-dogs, blood - hounds, fox-hounds, grey-hounds, buckhounds, whelps, and puppies ; describing the width of their nostrils, length of their heads, and snouts, how short their ears, and thighs were, how truss'd their reins, and strait their hams, &c. entertaining us with the history of each of their pedigree, with
all the exactness of a Welch herald. 411.
After which Zany mimic'd a gifted brother,
which brought the clergy upon the table. And 412. One mislik'd our doctor's last Sunday's text,
another his method, a third his style, a fourth his voice, a fifth his memory ; there he was too elaborate, here too loose; that point he might have enlarg'd, contracted this; he might have been plainer here, shew'd more learning there ; that observation was obvious, that exposition forc'd, that proof impertinent, that illustration common, that exhortation needless, that reproof unseasonable ; such an argument he rather escap'd than defeated ; that solution was more intricate than the question ; there he whipp'd himself with the knot he just
before had ty’d, &c. 413. Father. O the infinite wisdom of the Son of
God! in ordaining and establishing Pastors—T. instruct us in his name.—To administer to us his holy sacraments.—To reconcile us unto himself after our fall.—To form every day new believers, and even new pastors, that so the church may be preserv'd throughout all ages.