373. Last time you were sick the doctor told you, that nutrition was mostly, if not altogether, performed in time of rest, the blood having too quick a motion in the day; and that sleep was prejudicial when the sun was above the horizon, by reason perspiration is then too great; consequently such as turn night into day, and day into night, must soon expect to change health for sickness, life for death. 374. But why do I waste my breath in vain ? 375. 376. 377. 1 might as well attempt with sober words to draw the frog from his ditch, as to confine a sot within the limits of his duty. NEWSMONGER. Gentlemen, my wife, you see, is able to speak more with ease, than any man can endure to hear with patience; her tongue, like a sick man's pulse, always moves, but ever out of order. XANTIPPE. Wine has put your head out of order. "Wine whets the wit, improves its native force, 378. Right, quoth XANTIPPE, clapping her fists, you have set your wit so often upon that whetstone, all its steel is worn out. Come home, you sot, come home, NEWSMONGER falls a singing, Wine does wonders every day, It makes the heavy light and gay, Wine makes trembling cowards bold, Xantippe. Say, rather, that wine makes bitterness of spirit, brawlings, and quarrelings; it increaseth rage, and lesseneth strength; it causeth ed eyes, and a loose and babling tongue, and nakes a man as wanton as a satyr, and impotent as ge: Come home, you drunken sot, come home, nd don't provoke me longer with your fopperies, r I'll NEWSMONGER. Nay, fy, be not angry, child, :will make you look old. XANTIPPE. Wine will make a man a child, a 383. 384. 385. may-game, a jest, a laughing-stock to fools.-Come home, you drunken sot, come home. NEWSMONGER. An echo will sooner let a man have the last word, than a scold; and when, with the clock, my shrew has given the last stroke, mind how she keeps a jarring, muttering to herself for a good while after, with a come home, you drunken sot, come home, come home, &c. XANTIPPE. Faults are thick, where love is thin, your wife is much too good for you, unless you were better. NEWSMONGER. Too good, I think it's too good. Look in the glass, madam, and you'll see a wifeas imperious as an Athaliah-false as a Delilahproud as a Jezebel-provoking as a Miriam―sullen as a Vashti-jeering as a Michal-stingy as a Peninnah revengeful as an Herodias and as arrant a scold as Zipporah, all in one. 386. XANTIPPE. I am sure who looks in your face will see an ill father-an ill master-an ill husband 387. and an arrant drunkard all in one. you drunken sot, come home, or I'll Come home, NEWSMONGER. Peace, Eve, peace,-hens shoudn't crow-it's hard for a man's head to be broke with his own rib. Then falling a laughing, it set him a coughing, and disgorging in abundance. Drawers being called cleansed the room, and help'd Xantippe to lead Newsmonger home. Father. Every trade and profession requires its whole man. Party-men, newsmongers, &c. that run to and fro tatling and tipling, from morning 'till night, neglect duty to wife, children, and servants, and by idleness, carelessness, luxury, and vain expence, Empiously expose and betray their families to want and beggary. Xantippe's story is a a dismal instance; but pleasures, like Judas, while they kiss they betray: After drinking will come a reckoning. Belshazzar's 1 east ended in terror. But still you tell me nothing of Youth. 392. 393. YOUTH. Son. THE mushroom-squire sat at the upper end of the table, accoutred with a large muff, long peruke, dangling cane, a sword, snuff-box, diamondring, pick-tooth-case, silk handkerchief, &c. all of the newest fashion; and after Wiseman, his uncle, was gone, fell a telling what each of 'em cost, and that, thank his stars, he had a plentiful estate, and a heart to enjoy it. He frequently laugh'd, even at serious matters, to shew his white teeth; threw back his wig to discover the fine ring in his ear, and look'd what's a'clock to shew his gold watch. |