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373. Last time you were sick the doctor told you,

that nutrition was mostly, if not altogether, performed in time of rest, the blood having too quick a motion in the day, and that sleep was prejudicial when the sun was above the horizon, by reason perspiration is then too great ; consequently such as turn night into day, and day into night, must soon

expect to change health for sickness, life for death. 374 But why do I waste my breath in vain ? 1

might as well attempt with sober words to draw the frog from his ditch, as to confine a sot within

the limits of his duty. 375. Newsmonger. Gentlemen, my wife, you see, is

able to speak more with ease, than any man can endure to hear with patience ; her tongue, like a sick man's pulse, always moves, but ever out of

order. 376.

XANTIPPE. Wine has put your head out of order. 377.


Wine whets the wit, improves its native force, And adds a pleasant flavour to discourse."

378. Right, quoth XANTIPPE, clapping her fists, you

have set your wit so often upon that whetstone, all its steel is worn out. Come home, you sot, come home,


Newsmonger falls a singing,

Wine does wonders every day,
It makes the heavy light and gay,
Throws off all their melancholy;
Makes the wisest go astray,
And the busy toy and play,
And the poor and needy jolly.

Wine makes trembling cowards bold,
Men in years forget they're old,
Women leave their coy disdaining,
Who'till then were shy and cold,
Makes a niggard slight his gold,
And the foppish entertaining.

380. XANTIPPE. Say, rather, that wine makes bitter

ness of spirit, brawlings, and quarrelings ; it increaseth rage, and lesseneth strength ; it causeth red eyes, and a loose and babling tongue, and makes a man as wanton as a satyr, and impotent as age : Come home, you drunken sot, come home, and don't provoke me longer with your fopperies,

or I'll 381. NewsMONGER. Nay, fy, be not angry, child, may-game, a jest, a laughing-stock to fools.-Come

'twill make you look old. 382. XANTIPPE. Wine will make a man a child, a

home, you drunken sot, come home. 383. Newsmonger. An echo will sooner let a man

have the last word, than a scold ; and when, with the clock, my shrew has given the last stroke, mind how she keeps a jarring, muttering to herself for a good while after, with a come home, you

drunken sot, come home, come home, &c. 384. Xantippe. Faults are thick, where love is thin,

your wife is much too good for you, unless you

were better. 385. Newsmonger. Too good, I think it's too good.

Look in the glass, madam, and you'll see a wifeas imperious as an Athaliah-false as a Delilahproud as a Jezebel-provoking as a Miriam-sullen

a Vashti-jeering as a Michal-stingy as Peninnah revengeful as an Herodias — and as arrant a scold as Zipporah, all in one.

XANTIPPE. I am sure who looks in your face will see an ill father-an ill master-an ill husbandand an arrant drunkard all in one. Come home, you

drunken sot, come home, or I'll 387. Newsmonger. Peace, Eve, peace, --hens shoudn't

crow-it's hard for a man's head to be broke with his own rib.—Then falling a laughing, it set him a coughing, and disgorging in abundance.




388. Drawers being called cleansed the room, and

help'd Xantippe to lead Newsmonger home. 389. Father. Every trade and profession requires

its whole man. 390. Party-men, newsmongers, &c. that run to and

fro tatling and tipling, from morning 'till night, neglect duty to wife, children, and servants, and by idleness, carelessness, luxury, and vain expence, impiously expose and betray their families to want

and beggary. 391. Xantippe's story is a dismal instance; but

pleasures, like Judas, while they kiss they betray : After drinking will come a reckoning. Belshazzar's feast? ended in terror.

But still you tell me nothing of Youth.

1 Dan. 5. 6.

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392. Son. The mushroom-squire sat at the upper

end of the table, accoutred with a large muff, long peruke, dangling cane, a sword, snuff-box, diamondring, pick-tooth-case, silk handkerchief, &c. all of the newest fashion ; and after Wiseman, his uncle, was gone, fell a telling what each of 'em cost, and that, thank his stars, he had a plentiful estate, and

a heart to enjoy it. 393 He frequently laugh'd, even at serious matters,

to shew his white teeth ; threw back his wig to discover the fine ring in his ear, and look'd what's a'clock to shew his gold watch.

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