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257. “ And make his patients stars confess,
Like fools, or children, what he please.” 258. Nay, that by sigils, charms, and talismans, he
cou'd cure distempers even at nine miles distance. 259. For a farther account of his abilities, he referr'd
us to the publick advertisements, where we might find his vivifying drops for imbecility in men.His essentia vita, a rich cordial for the ladies.
And his purging sugar-plumbs for children. 260. Father. Tom. Brown, in his amusements, tells
us, indeed, of transfusing the blood of an ass into an astrological quack.
A gentleman having a salt humour in his nose, consulted a Quack, who told him, that his distemper was very dangerous. Being ask'd what distemper he took it to be? Quack answer'd, that
it was a rank fistula in ano. 262. Such blockheads, with their formidable bombast,
are the oracles of those that want sense, and
plague of them that have it. 263. Paracelsus boasted he could make other men
immortal, yet died himself at forty seven. 264. When all bodies have the same constitutions,
all constitutions the same alterations, all alterations the same times, quacks may pretend to cure all distempers. But,
265. Admit a mountebank had a remedy for the dis
temper you labour under, being unacquainted with your habit of body, and no judge of your constitution, he may put you in a way for a present cure, and overthrow your health in some other kind, and
so cure the disease, and kill the patient. 266. Labour to prevent diseases by temperance, so
briety, and exercise; but if sickness comes, ne'er
go to empirics for physic. 267. To take their prescriptions is next to wilful
murder. The most sovereign remedy they can afford a patient is their absence.
268. Son. A Rake that never opened his mouth
but to affront christianity, civil society, decency, or good manners, after punishing our ears with the filthy history of his debauchery and excess, still laughing whilst he repeated his sins, as if extreamly tickled at the remembrance of 'em, began to in
veigh against marriage, and told us, 269. That Æsop's frogs were extreme wise ; they
had a great mind to some water, yet wou'dn't leap into the well, because they cou'dn't get out
again. 270. That under the girdle love ebb’d and flow'd
with the blood, and moving in a region lower than
steady fire. 271.
That Italians in the chase became more frozen
than the Scythians after the game was taken. 272. That none ever praised matrimony, but as men
do good mustard, with tears in their eyes. For, 273.
“ The bane of all pleasure, and luggage of life,
Was the best could be said of a very good wife.” 274: That pride and fear made maids preserve some
measures, but as for married women he never
found any cruel enough to deny him in good earnest. 275. That the most honey sweet enjoyment sours
with standing, and time always made wedlock tire-
if not loathsome.
shew'd him vain enough to think himself heard
with pleasure. 277.
At length Wiseman asking Rake if his mother
was ever married, set all the company a laughing. 278. Father. Love like sun-beams, being diffus’d, is
weak and faint. But contracted to one object, is
fervent and calefactory.
humane propagation with impure and wandering
ruption, and reap diseases, hatred, shame, poverty,
and death. 280. 'Tis not only the christian religion, that en
joyns the practice of modesty, the morals of the
Heathens teach it. 281. Aristotle says, we are not only ashamed of the
act of incontinency, but of wanton gestures and lascivious discourses. Nor are we ashamed only of such lewd persons, but of their acquaintance and
friends. 282. Every vain person hath some weak side or other,
whereby he exposes the ridiculousness of his humour. Some will brag of sins they ne'er committed, defaming those they cou'd not debauch; but that a wretch should pride himself in his execrable iniquity, in bearing up against the laws of God and man, and affect a reputation by it, proportion to the measure of his extravagance, is
wonderful. 283. Nor is it less amazing, to see how ready the
malice of the world is to help the brutality of those that throw out slovenly reports upon fair
ladies. 284. Beware of debauchees, smutty and immodest
discourse, lewd and obscene songs, books, pictures, balls, revellings, idleness, ease, intemperance in