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those you cannot grant, be supplied by fair and
civil expressions. 630. The graceful manner so gilds and sets off the
No, that it makes it more esteem'd than an ill managed Yea.-A denial accompanied with sweetness and civility, pleases more a man of understanding than a courtesy granted coldly and rudely.
($ 188.) 631. “ Beware of suretyship, take heed of pleasure,
With ease you may get in, come out at leisure." 632. A Bondsman takes care of another's business, and neglects his own.
The Portugueses say, 633. Bolsa vazia faz ô homo sesuda mas tarde.—An
empty purse makes a man wise but too late. 634. Grammarians decline all vertues with hæl,
and Painters fancy them in Female shadows. 635. Honesty, courage, wit, like rough diamonds,
have their intrinsick value, tho' doubtful and obscure, 'till polish'd and refin'd by complaisance, good humour, invention, and address : Which qualifications, so indispensably necessary to what is called a polite, well bred, agreeable Gentleman, are attainable only by company and conversation, and chiefly by that of Ladies, by observing the care and pains they take to please, but to outshine each other. COMPANY.
636. I Take special care what COMPANY you keep;
waters are impregnated with the good or bad
qualities of the minerals thro' which they pass. 637 There's a strange malignity in bad company,
their effluvia will infect and poison the best dis
position. 638. Joseph, in Ægypt, learnt to swear by the life of
Pharaoh. 639. AUGUSTUS CÆSAR, by observing at a public show,
the grave senators talk'd with Livia, and loose youngsters, and riotous persons with Julia, dis
cern'd his daughter's inclinations. 640. In company have due regard to ages, sexes,
characters, professions, times and places : Let nothing escape you that may offend any of the
641. Hold your self in restraint without putting any
restraint upon others ; and if any make a step to oblige you, make two to acknowledge it.
642. There is a certain freedom in conversation that's
only proper amongst equals in age and quality, which if we use before our superiours we seem to contemn them, if before our inferiours they'll go
near to contemn us.
643. Lolling, drumming with the fingers, whistling,
humming, laying up the legs, yawning, sleeping, or any thing that implies weariness, or disrespect, is
carefully to be avoided in all companies. 644. The reciprocal Respect that is due from man to
man, ought always to appear in company, and curb all the irregularities of our fancies and humours that hinder those we converse with from being
pleas'd both with us and themselves. 645. He that does a thing rashly, may be taken in
equity of construction to do it willingly, for he
was free to deliberate. 646. When you are admitted into the presence of
a great man, let your compliments be short, speak
little, and retire soon. 647. If you are to ask a favour, think well before you
make your application on the motives you use to
persuade, and propose 'em distinctly in few words. 648. A short Petition to a great man is not only a
suit for his favour, but a panegyric upon his parts, being according to the most natural interpretation of things, an ascribing to him a sagacity so quick and piercing that it were presumption to inform, and a benignity so great that it were needless to
importune him. 649. It's not sufficient for a Courtier to be secret,
circumspect, regular, assiduous, complaisant, and a flatterer, those qualities, tho' callid essential, are of
little use unless well timed. 650. After dinner is generally a fit season ; men when
hungry are apt to be angry, but when replete the renual of the spirits makes 'em more cheerful, benign, and ready to give audience, and grant
favours. 651. Never trouble a great man with any unreasonable
or impertinent discourse, but only with what you
know to be certain, and judge to be fit for him to hear. 652.
The Italians say,
Il cortegiano inanzi al suo signor taccia, ô sià presto a dir cosa che li piaccia.—Let a courtier be silent before his lord, or ready to speak something
that may please him. 653. Sir Richard Bulstrode says, “To keep company
with great men is dangerous, and he that soars in so high a sphere, runs the hazard of Icarus; for if great men love their company it is either for their pleasure, because he has wit, and tickles their fancy; or he has parts, which they make use of to their own advantage : And it's common with them neither to quit nor advance such persons, but still to feed them with hopes, that their dependance may be wholly upon them. And when such great men die, or are disgrac'd, their fall is the ruin of their dependants."
Which paragraph he tags with a Sero SAPIUNT
PHRYGES. 654. My lord Burleigh in his advice to his son, says,
“ Be sure to keep some great man thy friend, but trouble him not with trifles; compliment him often, present him with many, yet small gifts, and of little charge ; and if thou hast cause to bestow any great gratuity, let it be some such thing as may be daily in his sight : Otherwise in this ambitious age thou shalt remain like a hop without a pole, live in obscurity, and be made a foot-ball for every insulting companion to kick at.”
Utrum horum, &c. 655.
attentive to such discourse as shall pass in a nobleman's presence, especially if he speaks, lest it be thought that you neither regard who
speaks, nor what is spoken. 656. Giving good attention, and good answers, is a
great perfection in conversation.