followed by judgment, and sometimes made covenant to do better; but the temptations of the enemy, with my own inclination, and the enticements of others, prevailed, again and again. At length, I began to flee from judgment, and endeavoured to stifle the witness of God, in my own heart, which often arose and testified against the evil I was in the practice of. But I was tempted to make merry over this inward reprover, by trampling upon it, singing and dancing, whenever it arose. So, by degrees, I seemed to gain a victory over it, still presuming on the mercy of God, and adding sin to sin; until I was left to myself, so that I felt no reproof for any thing I did.

Oh! what vanity and folly did I indulge in! My companions applauded and caressed me, for my activity; which prompted me to go on, and I soon became a proficient in the school of satan; leaping and dancing and making merry. Yet was I mercifully preserved from what are called gross evils amongst

men.

In this state I continued about two years; and although I went to meetings, yet the ehant of the violin was so sounding in my ears, that I received no benefit thereby. In this state of darkness, the tempter persuaded me all was well; and I thought I was a clever fellow, being much esteemed by those my associates.

Being now free from my master, I thought to take my swing in the world. Yet, at times, I thought I should be brought back again through judgments; but I looked at such an event as at some great distance from me. However, through mercy, it was nearer than I was aware of.

Having some cattle at Little Egg-Harbour, I was

obliged to go there, to provide hay for them. While I was there, I thought of my father and mother, who were both dead, and I was left like a sparrow on the house-top, or like a sheep in the wilderness, without a shepherd. Thoughts like these caused a kind of melancholy to seize me, which I did not like. Being far from my jovial companions, I wanted to get back to them; and therefore thought to get my cattle wintered, but nobody appeared willing to undertake it. So I was obliged to procure hay for them myself; which seemed a cross to my own will. As I was working, my heart became sad. At length, on a clear day, I saw a little black cloud arise in the north, at a great distance; at which I was somewhat surprised. Looking at it again; I saw it arose fast, and increased in blackness; which augmented my fears, and terror began to take hold of my mind, so that I durst not stay in the meadow any longer. In haste, I ran to the sea-shore; the cloud at the same time came swiftly over me, and I was smitten to the ground, with thunder.

After some time, I got up and went to the house, where my sister Hannah dwelt. And as I lay on a bed, my sight and sense, as to any thing outward, were taken away; but I saw inwardly all my sins that I had committed. Death seemed to look me in the face, and there appeared no way to escape. I also saw, that if I died in that condition, nothing but misery would be my portion. Oh! the dread and terror that I was in; seeing, as to my apprehension, the very lake that burns with fire and brimstone, "where the worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched." This, I thought I saw to be the end of the wicked, who sin against knowledge, until their day is over.

Oh! if I had been in the possession of a thousand worlds, at that time, I would have given them all for a little more time. I longed for it, but could not ask it, with any degree of faith; for my heart was hard. Thus, under inexpressible anguish, I remained for some time. No tongue can tell, nor heart conceive, to the full, without an experimental knowledge of it; which I sincerely desire may never be the case with any.

After being in this condition, until all hope was gone, on a sudden, my heart was tendered, accompanied with a flood of tears. Oh! then the cry was, for a little more time; which, at length, seemed to be granted, on condition that during the remainder of my life, I would give up my heart to serve him, who hath the lives of all flesh at his disposal. This I now felt very desirous to do; crying for strength, and mercy, and forgiveness of my sins, in such a manner as to be heard by those near me.

The first thing I remember, as to any thing outward, was my sister, who held me by the hand, and thus expressed herself: "Ah! brother, he that hath all men's hearts in his hand, can change them in a moment." These being "words fitly spoken, were as apples of gold in pictures of silver;" to which I could make no answer.

Thus, the Lord by his power, restored me immediately to perfect health, and to my senses, in a few hours. I then returned to my labour, in deep thoughtfulness and fear. And when I had performed what I was engaged about, keeping all to myself that I had passed through, I returned to my brother's house at Mount Holly, where I made my

home.

I soon met with many temptations: for, falling again into the company of some of my former companions, I found it very hard to take up the cross, and deny myself of old practices, which, through long custom, seemed interwoven with my constitution. I had the same inclination to vanity and folly as before. The adversary strove hard to keep possession of my heart; and through weakness, I was several times prevailed upon to join in dancing, and making merry; which brought distress and anguish upon my soul.

The last time satan prevailed on this subject, was as follows: as I was going along street in Mount Holly, I heard a fiddle, and thought I would not go near it. Yet when I came opposite the house, it was suggested to my mind, that I might stand still, and hear what they were playing: for there could be no harm in that. Then, that I might go to the end of the house, and listen; there being no harm in that. So I complied. Then it seemed as if it was said, thou mayst go into the house, but be sure not to dance; there is no harm in that. So the enemy prevailed by subtilty, and I lost my strength, and to dancing I went, as though I knew no better.— But this query came into my mind, Where art thou? Then I saw where I was, and abhorred myself. So I left the company abruptly, and went out, and wept bitterly.

Oh! that night was a dreadful one to me. I thought the very terrors of hell took hold on me. I saw I had broken my covenant, from time to time, and how the Lord had forborne with me. charged to break off my sins, or else I should go back where I was when he met with me before, and

I was now

should be left to myself: and the pit I then had a prospect of should be the lot of my inheritance. Oh! the bitter cries and groans, which those apprehensions then produced! I hope I may never forget them.

I then entered into a solemn covenant, that if the Lord would give me strength, I would never do the like again. This covenant I was enabled to keep,blessed be the Lord; for it was his power that preserved me from the jaws of the devourer. When this was over, I had faith to believe that the Lord, in his own time, would enable me to overcome all my sins. A prayer was raised in me daily, that he would pardon, and blot out my transgressions, and remember my iniquities no more.

Oh! the days and nights, the weeks and months of sorrow, I had to pass through! So that I had no comfort in any thing; bemoaning my condition, and crying to the Lord for strength, that I might be enabled to please him. When I was in company, I endeavoured to hide my inward exercises from all mortals; and in so doing I felt a degree of peace to attend me, which was like healing oil to my wounded soul. This increased my love to God, and my hope of salvation, through Christ.

Afterwards I was tried another way. My former companions began to mock, and deride me, saying, I was grown proud, and would not speak to them; or, that I was in love; or, going melancholy. Sometimes one would say, "I suppose you will be a preacher, by and by." Another, "You used to be a good fellow, what ails you now, to be so churlish. You are afraid to spend your penny. Come, we will treat you, if you will go with us." I told them