Complete Works

JACOB HOMNIUM'S HOSS.

A NEW PALLICE COURT CHANT.

ONE sees in Viteall Yard,

Vere pleacemen do resort, A wenerable hinstitute,

'Tis call'd the Pallis Court. A gent as got his i on it,

I think 'twill make some sport.

The natur of this Court

My hindignation riles : A few fat legal spiders

Here set & spin their viles;

To rob the town theyr privlege is, In a hayrea of twelve miles.

The Judge of this year Court
Is a mellitary beak,
He knows no more of Lor

Than praps he does of Greek, And prowides hisself a deputy Because he cannot speak.

Four counsel in this Court

Misnamed of Justice-sits; These lawyers owes their places to Their money, not their wits; And there's six attornies under them, As here their living gits.

These lawyers, six and four,

Was a livin at their case,
A sendin of their writs abowt,

And droring in the fees,
When their erose a cirkimstance
As is like to make a breeze.

It now is some monce since,

A gent both good and trew Possest an ansum oss vith vich He didn know what to do: Peraps he did not like the oss, Peraps he was a seru.

This gentleman his oss

At Tattersall's did lodge; There came a wulgar oss-dealer, This gentleman's name did fodge, And took the oss from Tattersall's: Wasn that a artful dodge?

One day this gentleman's groom
This willain did spy out,

A mounted on this oss

A ridin him about;

"Get out of that there oss, you rogue," Speaks up the groom so stout.

The thief was cruel whex'd
To find himself so pinu'd;
The oss began to whinny,

The honest groom he grinn'd;
And the raskle thief got off the oss
And cut avay like vind.

And phansy with what joy
The master did regard
His dearly bluvd lost oss again
Trot in the stable yard!

Who was this master good

Of whomb I makes these rhymes? His name is Jacob Homnium, Exquire; And if I'd committed crimes, Good Lord! I wouldn't ave that mann Attack me in the Times!

Now shortly after the groomb

His master's oss did take up, There came a livery-man

This gentleman to wake up;
And he handed in a little bill,
Which hangered Mr. Jacob.

For two pound seventeen
This livery-man eplied,

For the keep of Mr. Jacob's oss,

Which the thief had took to ride. "Do you see anythink green in me?" Mr. Jacob Homnium cried.

"Because a raskle chews

My oss away to robb, And goes tick at your Mews For seven-and-fifty bobb, Shall I be call'd to pay? It is A iniquitious Jobb."

Thus Mr. Jacob cut

The conwasation short; The livery-man went ome, Detumming to ave sport,

And summingsd Jacob Homnium, Exquire.

Into the Pallis Court.

Pore Jacob went to Court,

A Counsel for to fix,

Thou Swindle, picking pockets in The name of Truth august:

And choose a barrister out of the four, Come down, thou hoary Blasphemy,

An attorney of the six:

And there he sor these men of Lor, And watch'd 'em at their tricks.

For die thou shalt and must.

And go it, Jacob Homnium,
And ply your iron pen,
And rise up, Sir John Jervis,
And shut me up that den;
That sty for fattening lawyers in,
On the bones of honest men.
PLEACEMAN X.

THE SPECULATORS.

The night was stormy and dark, The town was shut up in sleep: Only those were abroad who were out on a lark, Or those who'd no beds to keep.

I pass'd through the lonely street, The wind did sing and blow; I could hear the policeman's feet Clapping to and fro.

There stood a potato-man In the midst of all the wet; He stood with his 'tato-can In the lonely Haymarket.

Two gents of dismal mien, And dank and greasy rags, Came out of a shop for gin, Swaggering over the flags:

Swaggering over the stones, These shabby bucks did walk; And I went and followed those seedy ones, And listened to their talk.

Was I sober or awake? Could I believe my ears? Those dismal beggars spake Of nothing but railroad shares.

I wondered more and more: Says one "Good friend of mine, How many shares have you wrote for, In the Diddlesex Junction line?"

"I wrote for twenty," says Jim, | The news of this consperracy and vil"But they wouldn't give me one; lianous attempt,

His comrade straight rebuked him I read it in a newspaper, from Italy it For the folly he had done :

"O Jim, you are unawares Of the ways of this bad town; I always write for five hundred shares, Aud then they put me down."

"And yet you got no shares," Says Jim, "for all your boast; ""I would have wrote," says Jack, "but where Was the penny to pay the post!"

"I lost, for I couldn't pay That first instalment up; But here's 'taters smoking hot I say, Let's stop, my boy, and sup."

And at this simple feast The while they did regale, I drew each ragged capitalist Down on my left thumbnail.

Their talk did me perplex, All

was sent :

night I tumbled and tost, And And it's there I drove my lady and

thought of railroad specs, money was won and lost.

And how

"Bless railroads everywhere," I said, "and the world's advance; Bless every railroad share In Italy, Ireland, France; For never a beggar need now despair, And every rogue has a chance.'

A WOEFUL NEW BALLAD

OF THE PROTESTANT CONSPIRACY TO TAKE THE POPE'S LIFE,

lord in the Park of Pincio.

And 'tis there our splendid churches is in all their pride and glory, Saint Peter's famous Basilisk and Saint And them benighted Prodestants, on Mary's Maggiory;

Outside the town to the preachingSunday they must go

shop by the gate of Popolo.

Now in this town of famous Room, as I dessay you have heard,

There is scarcely any gentleman as hasn't got a beard.

And ever since the world began it was ordained so,

(BY A GENTLEMAN WHO HAS BEEN ON That there should always barbers be

THE SPOT.)

COME all ye Christian people, unto my tale give ear, "Tis about a base consperracy, as

quickly shall appear; "Twill make your hair to bristle up,

and your eyes to start and glow, When of this dread consperracy you honest folks shall know.

wheresumever beards do grow.

And as it always has been so since the world it did begin,

The

POPE, our Holy Potentate, has a beard upon his chin; And every morning regular when cocks begin to crow, There comes a certing party to wait on POPE PIO.