JACOB HOMNIUM'S HOSS. A NEW PALLICE COURT CHANT. ONE sees in Viteall Yard, Vere pleacemen do resort, A wenerable hinstitute, 'Tis call'd the Pallis Court. A gent as got his i on it, I think 'twill make some sport. The natur of this Court My hindignation riles : A few fat legal spiders Here set & spin their viles; To rob the town theyr privlege is, In a hayrea of twelve miles. The Judge of this year Court Than praps he does of Greek, And prowides hisself a deputy Because he cannot speak. Four counsel in this Court Misnamed of Justice-sits; These lawyers owes their places to Their money, not their wits; And there's six attornies under them, As here their living gits. These lawyers, six and four, Was a livin at their case, And droring in the fees, It now is some monce since, A gent both good and trew Possest an ansum oss vith vich He didn know what to do: Peraps he did not like the oss, Peraps he was a seru. This gentleman his oss At Tattersall's did lodge; There came a wulgar oss-dealer, This gentleman's name did fodge, And took the oss from Tattersall's: Wasn that a artful dodge? One day this gentleman's groom A mounted on this oss A ridin him about; "Get out of that there oss, you rogue," Speaks up the groom so stout. The thief was cruel whex'd The honest groom he grinn'd; And phansy with what joy Who was this master good Of whomb I makes these rhymes? His name is Jacob Homnium, Exquire; And if I'd committed crimes, Good Lord! I wouldn't ave that mann Attack me in the Times! Now shortly after the groomb His master's oss did take up, There came a livery-man This gentleman to wake up; For two pound seventeen For the keep of Mr. Jacob's oss, Which the thief had took to ride. "Do you see anythink green in me?" Mr. Jacob Homnium cried. "Because a raskle chews My oss away to robb, And goes tick at your Mews For seven-and-fifty bobb, Shall I be call'd to pay? It is A iniquitious Jobb." Thus Mr. Jacob cut The conwasation short; The livery-man went ome, Detumming to ave sport, And summingsd Jacob Homnium, Exquire. Into the Pallis Court. Pore Jacob went to Court, A Counsel for to fix, Thou Swindle, picking pockets in The name of Truth august: And choose a barrister out of the four, Come down, thou hoary Blasphemy, An attorney of the six: And there he sor these men of Lor, And watch'd 'em at their tricks. For die thou shalt and must. And go it, Jacob Homnium, THE SPECULATORS. The night was stormy and dark, The town was shut up in sleep: Only those were abroad who were out on a lark, Or those who'd no beds to keep. I pass'd through the lonely street, The wind did sing and blow; I could hear the policeman's feet Clapping to and fro. There stood a potato-man In the midst of all the wet; He stood with his 'tato-can In the lonely Haymarket. Two gents of dismal mien, And dank and greasy rags, Came out of a shop for gin, Swaggering over the flags: Swaggering over the stones, These shabby bucks did walk; And I went and followed those seedy ones, And listened to their talk. Was I sober or awake? Could I believe my ears? Those dismal beggars spake Of nothing but railroad shares. I wondered more and more: Says one "Good friend of mine, How many shares have you wrote for, In the Diddlesex Junction line?" "I wrote for twenty," says Jim, | The news of this consperracy and vil"But they wouldn't give me one; lianous attempt, His comrade straight rebuked him I read it in a newspaper, from Italy it For the folly he had done : "O Jim, you are unawares Of the ways of this bad town; I always write for five hundred shares, Aud then they put me down." "And yet you got no shares," Says Jim, "for all your boast; ""I would have wrote," says Jack, "but where Was the penny to pay the post!" "I lost, for I couldn't pay That first instalment up; But here's 'taters smoking hot I say, Let's stop, my boy, and sup." And at this simple feast The while they did regale, I drew each ragged capitalist Down on my left thumbnail. Their talk did me perplex, All was sent : night I tumbled and tost, And And it's there I drove my lady and thought of railroad specs, money was won and lost. And how "Bless railroads everywhere," I said, "and the world's advance; Bless every railroad share In Italy, Ireland, France; For never a beggar need now despair, And every rogue has a chance.' A WOEFUL NEW BALLAD OF THE PROTESTANT CONSPIRACY TO TAKE THE POPE'S LIFE, lord in the Park of Pincio. And 'tis there our splendid churches is in all their pride and glory, Saint Peter's famous Basilisk and Saint And them benighted Prodestants, on Mary's Maggiory; Outside the town to the preachingSunday they must go shop by the gate of Popolo. Now in this town of famous Room, as I dessay you have heard, There is scarcely any gentleman as hasn't got a beard. And ever since the world began it was ordained so, (BY A GENTLEMAN WHO HAS BEEN ON That there should always barbers be THE SPOT.) COME all ye Christian people, unto my tale give ear, "Tis about a base consperracy, as quickly shall appear; "Twill make your hair to bristle up, and your eyes to start and glow, When of this dread consperracy you honest folks shall know. wheresumever beards do grow. And as it always has been so since the world it did begin, The POPE, our Holy Potentate, has a beard upon his chin; And every morning regular when cocks begin to crow, There comes a certing party to wait on POPE PIO. A travelling from Bury this Doctor | When at Shoreditch tumminus at lenth stopped the train, kind meddicle gentleman proposed his aid again. "Thank you, Sir," the lady said, "for your kyindness dear; My carridge and my osses is probibbly come here. “Will you old this baby, please, vilst The Doctor was a famly man : Then the little child she kist, kist it very gently, Vich was sucking his little fist, sleeping innocently. With a sigh from her art, as though she would have bust it, Then she gave the Doctor the child -wery kind he must it : Hup then the lady jumped hoff the bench she sat from, Tumbled down the carridge steps and ran along the platforin. |