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Such waxen noses, stately staring things- 210 No wonder some folks bow, and think them Kings.
See! where the British youth, engag'd no more At Fig's, at White's, with felons, or a whore, Pay their last duty to the Court, and come All fresh and fragrant, to the drawing-room; 215 In hues as gay, and odours as divine, As the fair fields they sold to look fo fine. “ That's velvet for a King !” the flatt'rer swears; 'Tis true, for ten days hence 'twill be King Lear’s. Our Court may justly to our stage give rules, That helps it both to fools-coats and to fools. And why not players ftrut in courtiers cloaths ? For these are actors too, as well as those : Wants reach all states; they beg but better drest, And all is splendid poverty at best.
225 Painted for sight, and essenc'd for the smell, Like frigates fraught with spice and cochine'l, Sail in the Ladies : how each pyrate eyes So weak a veffel, and so rich a prize! Top-gallant he, and the in all her trim,
230 He boarding her, she striking fail to him :
Vores. gaming-house: Fig's, a Prize fighter's Academy, where the young Nobility receiv'd instruction in those days : Ic was also customary for the nobility and gentry to visit the condemned criminals in Newgate. P.
VER. 220. our flage give rules,] Alluding to the Chamberlain's Authority
Their beauties; they the mens wits ; both are bought.
Why good wits ne'er wear scarlet gowns ", I thought
This cause, These men, mens wits for speeches buy,
And women buy all red which scarlets dye.
He call'd her beauty lime-twigs, her hair net:
She fears her drugs ill lay'd, her hair loose fete.
Would not Heraclitus laugh to see Macrine
From hat to shoe, himself at door refine,
As if the Presence were a Mosch: and lift
His skirts and hose, and call his clothes to shrift,
Making them confefs not only mortal
Great stains and holes in them, but venial
Feathers and dust, wherewith they fornicate:
And then by Durer's rules survey the itate
Of his cach limb, and with strings the odds tries
Of his neck to his leg, and waste to thighs.
So in immaculate clothes, and Symmetry
Perfect as Circles', with such nicety
As a young Preacher at his first time goes
To preach, he enters, and a lady which owes
Him not so much as good will, he arrests,
And unto her protests, protests, protests,
Notes. d i. e. Arrive to worship and magistracy. The reason he gives is, that those who have wit are forced to sell their ftock, initead of trading with it. This thought, tho' not arnils, our Poet has not paraphrased. It is obscurely expresled, and possibly it escaped him.
“ Dear Countess! you have charms all hearts to hit!”
And “ Sweet Sir Fopling! you have so much wit !!!
Such wits and beauties are not prais'd for nought,
For both the beauty and the wit are bought. 235
Twou'd burst ev’n Heraclitus with the spleen,
To see those anticks, Fopling and Courtin:
The Presence seems, with things so richly odd,
The Mosque of Mahound, or some queer Pa-god.
See them survey their limbs by Durer's rules, 2.40
Of all beau-kind the best proportion's fools!
Adjust their cloaths, and to confession draw
Those venial fins, an atom, or a straw
But oh! what terrors must diítract the foul
Convicted of that mortal crime, a hole ;
Or should one pound of powder less bespread
Those monkey tails that wag behind their head.
Thus finith'd, and corrected to a hair,
They march, to prate their hour before the Fair,
So first to preach a white-glov'd Chaplain goes,
With band of Lilly, and with cheek of Rose,
Notes. ei.e. Conscious that both her complexion and her hair are borrowed, the suspects that, when, in the common cant of flatterers, he calls her beauty lime-twigs, and her hair a net to catch lovers, he means to infinuate that her colours are coarsely laid on, and her borrowed hair loosely woven.
f Because all the lines drawn from the centre to the circurAference are equal.
Ver. 240. Durer's rules,] Albert Durer,
So much as at Rome would serve to have thrown
Ten Cardinals into the Inquisition ;
And whispers by Fesu so oft, that a
Pursuevant would have ravish'd him away
For saying our Ladies Psalter. But 'tis fit
That they each other plague, they merit it.
But here comes Glorious that will plague them both,
Who in the other extreme only doth
Call a rough carelesness, good fashion :
Whose cloak his spurs tear, or whom he spits on,
He cares not, he. His ill words do no harm
To him; he rushes in, as if Arm, arm,
He meant to cry; and though his face be as ill
As theirs which in old hangings whip Chrift, still
He strives to look worse; he keeps all in awe ;
Jests like a licens'd fool, commands like law.
Týr'd, now I leave this place, and but pleas'd lo
As men from goals to execution go,
Go, through the great chamber (why is it hung
With the seven deadly fins ?) being among
Sweeter than Sharon, in immac'late trim,
Neatness itself impertinent in him.
Let but the Ladies smile, and they are blest:
Prodigious ! how the things protest, protest : 255
Peace, fools, or Gonson will for Papists seize you,
If once he catch you at your Hefu! Jesu!
Nature made ev'ry Fop to plague his brother,
Just as one Beauty mortifies another.
But here's the Captain that will plague them both, 260
Whose air cries Arm ! whose very look's an oath :
The Captain's honest, Sirs, and that's enough,
Tho' his soul's bullet, and his body buff.
He spits fore-right; his haughty chest before,
Like batt'ring rams, beats open ev'ry door:
And with a face as red, and as awry,
As Herod's hang-dogs in old Tapestry,
Scarecrow to boys, the breeding woman's curse,
Has yet a strange ambition to look worse ;
Confounds the civil, keeps the rude in awe, 270
Jests like a licens'd fool, commands like law.
Frighted, I quit the room, but leave it fo
As men from Jayls to execution go ;
For hung with deadly fins I see the wall,
And lin'd with Giants deadlier than 'em all :
275 Note. VER. 274. For hung with deadly fins] The Room hung with od Tapestry, representing the leven deadly fins. P.