I Love You Madly!: On Passion, Personality and Personal Growth

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IAPT Press, 28.05.2008 - 214 Seiten
What does it take to have a lasting relationship? Dr. Robert Gordon shows that the course of love is fairly predictable based on the personalities and histories of the lovers. Only insight and mutual concern can help change this path. He explains the psychology of romantic love from both personal and professional perspectives. Along the way, he integrates evolutionary psychology, psychoanalysis and social psychology in the context of dramatic stories of love and psychotherapy. Learn how to recognize healthy love relations from relationship killers such as narcissism, defensiveness, and hostility. I Love You Madly informs about the science of psychology, yet reads as an entertaining novel.
 

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Seite 21 - The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Seite ii - Psychologists do not disclose in their writings, lectures, or other public media, confidential, personally identifiable information concerning their...
Seite 93 - rescue-motif" has a meaning and history of its own, and is an independent derivative of the mother-complex, or more accurately, of the parental complex. When a child hears that he owes his life to his parents, or that his mother gave him life, his feelings of tenderness unite with impulses which strive at power and independence, and they generate the wish to return this gift to the parents and to repay them with...
Seite 93 - the libido has dwelt so long in its attachment to the mother, even after puberty, that the maternal characteristics remain stamped on the love-objects chosen later — so long that they all become easily recognizable mother-surrogates.
Seite ii - Ethical Principles of Psychologists and Code of Conduct...
Seite iv - They often fear that intimacy will reveal that they are a fraud and may project this onto the love object and come to see the formally idealized lover as a fraud. A cycle of idealization and devaluation of the other moves the person in and out of closeness. There is no true intimacy with a real person. This type of love is mainly a child's fantasy. They fall in love with a fantasy and then punish the real person for not fulfilling the fantasy. Individuals may evolve from not being able to fall in...
Seite 111 - When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more.
Seite 15 - This drama repeats itself in future attachments to achieve the same emotional result as in childhood. If there was conflict with a parent, so then there will be conflict with our current love. When we enter into intimacy, we regress and repeat our unconscious emotional past, without realizing it.
Seite 16 - ... 3. Distorting the perception of the partner to seem like the parent. (Example: you misperceive your partner as being unfairly critical.) We do any or all of these - picking, provoking, and distorting -- in order to repeat unconsciously the imprinting and traumas (Gordon, 1998). In love, we one way or another will return to the past.
Seite iii - In pathological cases, the idealization is extreme and can become delusional with an equal but opposite devaluation lurking beneath. However people who cannot fall in love at all either cannot feel an idealization of another or the idealization is a fickle and fleeting fantasy. Individuals may have problems falling in love because: 1. They are egocentric, lacking the capacity to love another.

Autoren-Profil (2008)

Robert M. Gordon, Ph.D. is board certified by the American Board of Professional Psychology (ABPP) in Clinical Psychology and Psychoanalysis in Psychology, a Fellow of the Division of Psychoanalysis, and served on the governing council of the American Psychological Association. He was President of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association and received its Distinguished Service Award. He authored many scholarly articles and books in the areas of psychotherapy, relationships, forensic psychology, ethics and the MMPI-2. He has a private practice in Allentown, Pennsylvania.

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